Hello old friends. I'm sorry I do not say it enough but I love you. And despite what you may think I do miss you. I never wanted to be that person to get a boyfriend and disappear. But I realize to some of you thats probably how you think of me. Well for one thing, do understand that around the same time Travis came into my life I started a new job and a new school (and I also became more involved at the vineyard). And those alone have taken up much of my life this past year. Of course Travis is a large part of why I have been away because I can see him usually the same time i can see anyone else.. on the wkends and no offense to any of you but I just want to squeeze in as much time with him as possible. Bc to be honest with you.. I love him. And everyday we are together we are learning more about one another and I love him more as time goes on. I dont know if I hid it well or not but for a long time I longed for someone. Someone to love and trust to give my heart away to. I feel like GOd kept me from serious relationships to prevent me from getting into trouble and also getting my heart broken. Last year he finally said (well how I took it) "ok... here is your man.. now you can have him... you are ready". Well, maybe I wasn't ready just then bc we only lasted a couple months and kinda broke it off bc we both had a lot going on in our lives at the time. But that whole time apart I longed for him and my heart was crushed. I couldnt imagine my life without him. I think I realized that around Thanksgiving bc even with family around, I felt so alone. And we werent even dating then but we were talking on the phone everyday, or a couple times a day. A month or so later we decided to give it a go again and it hasnt been perfect but I am 100% certain that he is my gift from God and that I am not to ruin this great thing we have. We have such great communication with eachother and are learning a lot of patience and understanding, along with much contentment for where we are in our lives. (prayer for continued patience, understanding and contentment would be great from any of you!) We have grown so much together within even the last couple weeks and I am so excited that he is mine! (well, Gods.. but I claim him too). I apologize for doing a poor job of bringing him around and letting you all get to know him. If you havent been around him enough to decide yet... just trust me on this one. You all know how cautious I have been of dating (some may even say i was against it). He is amazing and is everything I am not: outgoing, responsible, determined, a leader, excited about life. But he is contagious so I hoping to catch some of those qualities :) . He is also so good looking (he has these cute little dimples when he smiles), loves people, gets along so well with the fam, is so genuine, honest, caring. I'm sorry.. I could go on for hours. I hope none of you have puked from my girly-mushiness. You'll get over it :)
I can't promise things are going to be much different within this next year as far as my absence within the group. I would hope I can see you all more, especially now that i have a couple wks of summer b4 school starts back (aug 19). But when fall hits I will be back into the books and probably crying alot bc its going to be difficult and I have a constant fear in the back of my head that I will fail this program and I have no plan B.
..I love you, I miss you, and I plan to see you soon. And chrissialice... I have not forgotten the reds tickets but I have been forgetting to pay you. Please email me your address again so I can send you some moneys.
Heres a couple favs from FL:
I hope you learn to love him. He is so my blessing sent from God.
