You have never been more BEAUTIFUL than in HIS eyes.

It's here and almost over

2011-07-28T10:01:00.002-04:00

I am having finally having surgery this Friday at 7am. They are removing my appendix and also removing a small part of my bowel that has a hole in it. Hospital stay is 3-7 days depending on how quickly my bodily functions start working+I can eat+I can walk. I am really not looking forward to the recovery part bc my last hospital experience was terrible. I'm just afriad I will be passing out and throwing up again this go round. I understand this will make me better in the long run it just seems crazy to plan something that you know will cause so much misery (for a short time though). I am still scheduled to be off work through the end of august. and my doctor said I will have a 10 lb weight lifting restriction for 6 weeks... so even if I go back to work end of Aug I will have to be on light duty for 2 more weeks. Imagine trying to stay awake all night when your only job is to answer patient call lights. We'll see how that goes...

Please keep me in your prayers. I am not a fan of the idea of having my abdomen cut open. It really kinda freaks me out.. yes I undersatnd I am a nurse but I can care for it on someone else better than I can handle it myself.

Me.. again.

2011-06-29T10:41:00.003-04:00

My most recent doctor's appt was last Tuesday and we finally have a date for surgery: July 29. I will have the drainage tube in until that time, meaning I will be off work until then.. and 4 weeks after surgery for recovery.The tube has to stay in bc it has attched itself to the bowel so they will need to surgically remove it... and actually remove a piece of my bowel (looks like 1-2 inches) where the hole is (and where appendix is attached). He said I will be in hospital for 6 days after and it should not have any lasting effects on my bowels or body. I am not looking forward to having surgery and the recovery part but I will be so glad when it is all over! I cant believe I am off work for the whole summer and cant really enjoy it how I want to. The great part of it though is that I have been able to be home with Max as we try to train him and also we are going to Alabama in July to be with my whole fam. It will be a good time.

I will get to see this little man in July!!

Hes 7 months old and now crawling all over the place!

Appointment today

2011-06-21T14:00:00.004-04:00

So my drain stopped draining for a few days after the last post so I was thinking maybe it isn't a fistula and that they could remove the tube earlier than expected. Well like 5 days ago it started draining again more than before and now we know it is a fistula. I went to the doc today and I am now scheduled for surgery on Friday, July 29. The doc said since it is a fistula (causing a hole in the bowel- which is draining into the tube) it would be most safe to open me up for surgery because of all the scar tissue that will be there bc the ruptured appendix. ANd now surgery will be taking out a piece of my bowel where the appendix was attached to and now has a hole. He said this will not have any long term effects like with bowel function or anything. I was hoping for a laparoscopic surgery bc that is just little holes and not an incision. Also less recovery time. But more than just the scar it will cause I am nervous about recovery. I know its not a terrible surgery but just the fact of having surgery makes me nervous... and I'll be in the hospital probably 6 days for recovery. And off work 4 wks after... for a grand total of being off work for roughly 16 weeks! Thank the Lord for the job that I have bc I am getting a percentage of my pay every 2 weeks. I am so thankful for that. This whole thing has been going on for so long now but at least there is an end in sight (as long as everything goes well!)

The doc said for having a fistula it is not draining as much as expected and there is a possibility of it healing on its own. If that happens there is a chance that they could pull the tube earlier and I could have laparoscopic surgery just to remove the rest of the appendix. So please please PLEASE!! continue to pray and that God would heal up the fistula and hole in the bowel. God is in control of all of this and can do miracles!

At least I've had this little sucker to keep my mind off of it all:

Don't let the sweet face fool you. He's a fiesty little thing. Its like babysitting a kid in their "terrible two" stage. He's sweet one minute and biting my hand the next. But he is smart and learning. He knows his name and "come". He has been a lot of fun. We are working on "sit" and walking on the leash. And wow... puppy farts are the absolute worst!

Latest update...

2011-06-08T18:35:00.002-04:00

I went to Dr. yesterday and he scheduled me an appt today with radiology to see if my drain tube could come out. So I went today and the plan was to inject dye into my drain port and take xrays to make sure the abscess and infection is all gone. Well, the abscess is not there anymore but when he injected the dye it lit up what looked to be the small bowel. This is something they warned me about so I wasnt completely surprised... but very disappointed. Ths means I have developed a fistula meaning the tube has attached itslef to the bowel and if they pulled the drain out it could cause a hole in the intestine plus more infection. He said the drain may have to stay in until I have surgery which probably won't be for 2-3 months. There is a small possibility that when I go in for my next appt in 2 weeks they will do a catscan and see that things have healed up or its not a fistula and could possibly pull it out then. But as for now it looks like I will be attached to my unfortunate buddy for maybe a couple of months. As far as I know they won't let me go back to work until I get it out.. but I'm not completely sure on these details yet. I'm not completely on "house arrest" though... they are saying my activity is as tolerated... except for like swimming, of course, or roller coasters or biking. But I can SIT by the pool and take walks and maybe even go camping. So today I've already had my down moments to be sad about it but have since thought about all the things I can and will do. Like enjoy time with my new puppy we are getting on Saturday... which will actually be good bc he will need that one-on-one time for his first few weeks... and I'll be off work. Through all this I keep telling myself there are people going through SOOO much worse than this. And this will pass. God has really shown himself to me through all of this. Probably because I have actually been watching and listening.. and CRAVING him. I am so humbled by Him. Maybe that is why all this has happened anyway. Wake up calls come in all forms. And one day soon I will be healed.

Home At Last

2011-05-31T12:19:00.002-04:00

So yes I am home. But I brought a buddy along with me- have to keep the drain in until unknown date. Will have dr. appt next week and if the draining stops by then he could take it out in his office. What I do not want to happen is they take it out then discover there is more to drain and have to put it back in. This drain is literally a pain in my butt. Gettingn used to it though. I am welcoming visitors this week and could actually use some help during the days- although i know most ppl work during the day- but Travis could prob use a break in the eves as well. So if youre interested I will be here. I;m not great fun right now. But I am able to hang out and watch movies :) Still working on the eating thing. At least my apetite is back some but I;m kinda on a low fat/low carb diet per the dr... but im pretty much gonna eat what I can bc my body is starving. Anyway... call me if you want to come. Otherwise... prayers still welcome bc i dont feel out of the woods yet.

Love you.

Sickness part 2: correct diagnosis

2011-05-28T22:00:00.002-04:00

Update on what is actually happening with me. I left off from the previous entry on thursday, finishing up antibiotics. Well satrday was my last dose... sunday felt better... sunday night tossing and turning with stomach ache... monday severe cramps in lower abdomen. Called doctor- she said that we will plan on the colonoscopy for wednesday. Tuesday was terrible bc I had the cramps and had to be on just liquids for the day (had to drink two 62 oz gatorades with laxatives in them plus at least eight 8oz glasses of water or other fluids duirng the day). As you can imagine it was a very clear, liquid poopy day(I'm over modestY) . BUt painful throughout. Wed I headed for the colonoscopy.. "Oh that didnt hurt at all... I dont remember a thing.." is what everyone and their moms who have had a colonoscopy had told me. Well... they apparently didnt have what I had which was already severe pain in my abdomen. I was sedated and filled with pain meds but I vividly remember the pain of the dr pressing hard on my abdomen while manuvering the tube around my colon- ive never had such pain in my life.. and I remember her saying "Sarah, you need to relax..". Yeah.. try to relax with excruciating pain. The problem was part of my bowel was twisted and she was pushing on my stomach to try to get the tube moving aroud it or something. I thought I was giong to die. When I woke up in the sedation room I kinda remember the doc explaining to my mom and travis (who had unexpectedly rushed over from work) that it was serious. She said they saw pus around my appendix and we werent exactly sure what that meant. She wanted to keep me slightly sedated and sent me over to Christ ER expecting me to have major surgery. When I got there they wanted to do another catscan meaning I had to drink more contrast- this time keeping it down. Had the catscan... waited FOREVER as one would usually do in a hospital. Then a resident dr came in and sat down and said "sarah has a ruptured appendix." This was a shock and I think all our mouths dropped bc we were still thinking colitis of some sort and hoping for the best. He wasnt really sure about a plan but said I woul dbe stayin in hospital overnight and possibly havingn surgery in the AM, or a drain tube put in to drain the infection (there were several scenerios presented). this meaninng I couldnt eat or drink anything until they decided. I mean seriously? I had a decreased apetite for the last 2 weeks and now not allowed to eat or drink anything? Suddenly ice water became my craving. That night was terrible... having 103 fevers and covering myself in ice packs.. not allowed to have any water except a few sips with tylenol. I did not sleep a minute that night. The next morning came and they decided to do the drain tube. No surgeries yet bc everything so swollen in my abdomen could puncure something or cause more infection. I was Mildly sedated for procedure but could still feel the needle and tube through the upper part of my right butt muscle into my abdomen to drain infection. Too risky to put it through abdomen for risk of puncturing something. I was on bed rest for 4 hrs afterwards. Then I had to pee. Called in PCA and my mom to help me to the bathroom bc i was in pain. I got up feeling dizzy, put my hands on the bed and woke up on the floor. The pca and my mom had caught me and lowered me to the floor. They tried to get me back up and i went down again. Decided to get back in bed and from then on until this morning I had to use a bedpan- not a fun time. as of now fevers have gone down but havent been able to keep food down well until dinner but didnt eat much. So prayers are much apprecaited still!! I am able to get up to the bathroom now and yestereday I did take a shower. Plan now is to continue antibiotics, watch the drain, continue to attempt eating. May go home in a few days with or without the drain (no exact date set yet). Will be off work for another 2-3 weeks as least. Plan for surgery maybe in 8 weeks once all swelling is cleared to take out remainder of appendix. Hopefully it all goes as planned and I dont step anymore backword. Love you all, i understand this is long but easier than telling each person separatly. Not wanting a lot of visitors because I havent slept good and hope to catch up on sleep during the day when I can. When I go home though I welcome visitors because it will be a lot of days home alone probably so I will let you all know when that is if anyone wants to visit.

Again... all prayers still welcome and so very much appreciated!

There's no where to go but up from here

2011-05-19T19:16:00.002-04:00

That's how I felt last wednesday at 4:30 in the morning as I crouched in a chair in the waiting room at Jewish hospital....
The day before, Tuesday, I had a bit of a stomach ache but I tried to ignor it because Trishia and Grayson were still in town and it was my last day with them. I thought my stomach ache was from eating too much junk the night before. I debated whether to take off work that night or not. After talking with a co-worker and hearing how crazy work was the night before, and considering how I felt at the moment, and that at my job its not like you can just leave in the middle of the night and pass my patients off to another nurse who already has 6 or 7... I decided to call off. Good thing though because the stomach ache turned to nausea which still hasn't let up. Late in the evening I began to have episodes of vomiting which did not stop. I tried to tough it out for the night but nothing would relieve it.. pepto bismol, water, nausea meds (I had from a previous food poisoning episode a few months ago)... it all came right back up. I was too uncomfortable to lay down so I would get up and walk around which would only make me puke. Only then would I have a few minutes of stomach pain and nausea silence before it would start up again. Around 4 I woke up travis (I had been trying to sleep on the couch at this point), and told him I thought we needed to go to the ER because it was not letting up. After one more puke in the sink we were out the door. It was the most excruciating stomach pains I have ever felt. Got to the ER and after about an hour of waiting, filling out papers, andn talking to a nurse and doctor I finally got some pain and nausea meds.... which didn't work. At this time I was just thrilled to not have puked again. I was really dehydrated so they IV'd me with a bag of fluids and in the meantime did find some pain and nausea meds that helped some. Got blood drawn- white blood cells came back super high which indicated infection. Decided to do CT scan of abdomen and gave me like a liter of what smelled like chlorinated water to drink. (smart to give with someone who is nauseous, huh?) I had an hour to drink the nasty stuff which seemed like a long time except I kept falling asleep. It was about 45 mins into it when I took the last drink and..... about 10 mins later it all came back up... all over the bed and me. At least at that time I had nothing else in my system so it was just like water. Anyway... still able to go to CT scan found out I have Colitis... inflammation of the colon. Unknown cause.. except that I probably got it from work. I stayed in ER until about 11 when they gave me antibiotics and made sure I could keep them down... then they let me go home. Last week was a very rough week. Not until about Mon or Tues of this week did my stomach pains and cramps go away. Related to that I had no apetite and was too tired to stay awake for meals anyway. At my lowest weight I probably lost about 15 lbs. Which in normal life that would be awesome but this wasnt healthy. I have since gained a few of that back but have only really been able to eat semi-decent meals (soup) since yesterday. This thing has wiped me flat out. As of today I only feel the occasional cramping (maybe 1 or 2 a day, compared to constant), so I am off pain meds and most nausea meds. Still on 2 antibiotics until saturday (which is probably the cause of my continued stomach issues with no apetite). It has really messed with me emotionally too, I have been so emotional because it just has lasted so long! I am scheduled to go back to work Monday and when I do I will have missed 7- 12hr shifts. I had to even fill out short term leave paperwork and send it in. All in all I am feeling much better but not 100% quite yet. I have until monday to be healed- I'm a little nervous about going back to work- especially nightshift, just as far as the keeping myself awake all night, and the fact that my apetite isnt back yet. Oh and I had to go to a gastro-specialist on monday who said if I don't feel better over the weekend she scheduled me for a colonoscopy for next wednesday. I was thinking about getting it done regardless of how I feel just to rule out anything else but I called today and you know how much a colonoscopy costs even with our insurance?? Over $900!! So I am really hoping I won't have to get it done. Its already enough that I ran out my PTO (paid time off hours), and getting paid less the next 2 checks, but having to pay $900 would just be that much worse. Oh and weird other thing.. its really been messing with my body- my mom and I are comparing hot flashes. Like last night I woke up and the room was cold but my body was like dripping with sweat. But I wasnt even really hot. Maybe my body is trying to sweat out toxins or something when I sleep. I do sometimes get hot during the night but not like night sweats.
Anyway.. I hope this terrible ride is coming to an end because I do not know how much more my body can take. I keep having these weird moments like today I walked briskly up the stairs, 2 at a time, and immediately got cramps in both sides of my butt! And I get a little winded using the stairs... gotta gain my strength back I guess. At least today I did not feel like I had to lay down all day. I did actually get a few things done. I just feel sorry for my husband because I dont think he's had a meal cooked for him in like 3 weeks- and I almost always would have it ready when he came home. He's been a great help though, and very supportive through all my break downs.

Until next time.... (hopefully I'll be healthy again!)....

relationships are hard.

2010-12-30T13:55:00.003-05:00

This past year has been extremely challenging for many relationships in my family. And for my husband in his family as well. Today is a new day though as I feel I can finally move on past issues my sister and I have been dealing with- by not dealing with. Yesterday we started into a casual conversation which quickly turned into truths being said and feelings hurt on both sides. It blew up into something we both felt was the end of our relationship (we will always be sisters but at that point she chose to not recognize it anymore). As the day went on she started txting me, apologizing and explaining her defensiveness. I realize this is all very vague but the important thing is that at the end of the day we forgave eachother. Our strained relationship began over a year ago. I feel the burden of all those negative emotions lifted from me for the first time. And the biggest way I could tell is that last night I broke down, again, because if I'm not angry with her I worry about her. I hate the fact that she is living in FL alone and stressed with school. I hate that she has felt abandoned by so many. I hate that she is not here with family to talk to when she needs it. And although I probbaly would not have changed how I've acted the past year due to the circumstances, I hate that she has felt that I wasnt here for her..
As strange as it sounds, it is so much easier to be angry and choose to not think about her because it hurts so much less.

Exhaustion

2010-09-14T08:48:00.002-04:00

I got home this morning from a long week of work. it has been unusually long. For awhile we were overstaffed and getting cancelled a lot. Now we have 3 nurses off for various reasons and our patient census has been higher so we've been getting all our scheduled hours plus opportunity to pick up more. Well last week I worked (7p-7a shifts) mon, tues, thurs (picked up extra), sat, sun and mon. I also had to go in thurs morning for this 3 hour "education day". So from monday to monday I had worked five 12hr shift (60 hrs) + 3 hrs education= 63 hrs in 7 days. the prob was that my days off were like every other so I never got good rest. Going into work last night I felt prob the worst I ever have- exhaustion wise. I felt like my body was going to shut down. Luckily I got some caffeine in me and was good over night- even this morning I am actually more awake than normal- prob bc my body is on opposite cycle mode.
I dont even mind nightshift sometimes but it really messes with me emotionally. Sometimes I just feel really depressed bc its like I have no energy during the day to do anything and often times i dont get to see anyone. But I expect to be where I am for at least another year or 2. And prob only bc my nightshift buddies. I wouldnt be able to do it w.o my nightshift family- we have to depend on eachother for a lot bc we dont have the resources that they do during the day.
So yes we are all moved into the new house- almost 3 months we've been here. And I LOVE it. I already feel like we've lived here longer than our first place- and we (well, I) were there for 10 months. We are having an open house sat sept 25 at 2pm if youd like to come we will have food so contact me and i can get you directions.

I'm going to be an aunt!! My brother's wife is prego with a baby boy (Grayson Thomas) due mid-december. They will be living in Mason with my parents from beg of nov through beg of feb. I am so excited to have a nephew and experience my parents as grandparents! We all decided my parents will be called CoCo (like cocoa- means grandma) and Baboo (grandpa).. that is what children in kenya call their grandparents and we think its cute.

ill try not to wait so long to update next time but lately i just havent been on the computer much. It goes along with not having energy for AnYthing sometimes.

quote "I just totally laughed at someone who can't feel things"

what's new?

2010-06-30T08:37:00.003-04:00

We have the keys to the new house! Its finally becoming reality. We actually got in there on sunday and began cleaning and its amazing how distusting people can live- they had a cat and there was hair EVERYwhere!! Even in the fridge, feezer and oven! Thats been the worst part. Luckily my mom and dad have been there to help- i dont know what we would have done without them. Its amazing what we have gotten accomplished in just 3 days. I think we've finally gotten the kitchen clean, my dad has painted 3 rooms, the basement floor, and multiple ceilings and Travis' dad is coming from out of town to clean the carpets and hardwood floors today (he owns his own carpet cleaning business in Jackson, OH). So the main things I still have to attack are the windows (they need to be de-haired) and bathrooms. Im sure it will be more than that but those are my main to-dos. Its finally beginning to feel like our home. The great thing is that we don't move our things in until saturday so we have this week to clean, paint and desanitize! I really have been feeling OCD cleaning everything... there is just something about other people's grime and nasty that I just cant handle... or believe that they were ok to live in it!! Today I'll prob be finishing up packing and cleaning our place to move out- since the floors at the house will be out of commission. Its weird to think this is my last day here by myself. There are some things about our townhouse I will miss- like my 2nd story back porch with our rocking chairs that is so private- and the fact that if anything goes wrong we just call the owners :) But i really am excited to have a house of our own. its a lot to learn but Travis is all about learning all he can! This is the first time he has ever painted so its a lot of firsts and new experiences for him.. how you go through 26 years without ever having to paint is beyond me- i think i had a brush in my hand at age 10... its been fun though watching the inside of the house transform. I have been taking pics- ill have to post when I have "after" pics to contrast the "before"s.

I need to get busy. Cant wait to have a party at our new HOUSE!!

In the midst of frustrations...

2010-06-02T08:12:00.002-04:00

Memorial Day quote:

my mom says to my gma "Why are you wearing a 4th of July shirt on Memorial day?"
my gmas response: "because I couldn't find a shirt with dead people on it"

breathe

2010-05-22T22:49:00.002-04:00

I feel emotionally exhausted. It didnt really hit me until I was sitting at dinner tonight with some of my fav non-dramatic people... and I felt this peace.. and realized it was bc life the last few months has just been mentally/emotionally draining. And its not me directly or my marriage- that part is great-- its family mostly.. and sometimes dramatic friends- none that read this (i dont think). Its hard to not get involved when its your own family- and its even worse when the same situation continues on and on-- when you just want to scream ENOUGH! God please end this situation already! But I guess he has his timing and it is somehow perfect to his plan.

God has brought joy into life though too-- more times than one but one in specific is I will be an AUNT this year!! Brett and Trishia are having a baby-due in December!

I just need to try to focus on the positive things and not so much the negatives.
Thanks for reading.

The Accident

2010-05-02T20:09:00.007-04:00

The wkend of my dad's accident was a crazy few days. Many have heard this already but for those who have not, or at least not been updated, here we go> so my sister came in town thurs night and friday we hung out (2 wks ago) and were supposed to meet my mom and dad for lunch. My dad was out working, trying to finish up some things before meeting us. My mom was on her way home and called us and said she just got a call from her mom saying my dad was in an accident with a mower and he was taken to university hospital. We had no other information and my mom was hysterical thinking of the worst possible scenerio and praying that God would not take him yet. What had happened was he ended up going over to my grandpa's brother's house to mow- which was weird to all of us bc he doesnt usually mow his house and didnt tell any of us that he was going- he was mowing over a hill and he noticed it was wet and tried to turn around but it was too late and he went straight- which ended up going off a 5-6 ft ledge. He ended up on the gravel ground with the mower on top of him. Almost just as terrible as that was the fact nobody was home.. so he lay pinned under this 800 lb mower for an hr and a half yelling "help" and trying to keep himself awake. His phone was in his sock but he could not reach it. He said he could hear my mom calling him (her ringer is her singing "I love you, I love you, I loooove you") which is heart breaking to imagine that scene. The house next to the one he was at, which was in full view, is a house my parents lived in many years ago-- I think they moved from there when I was 1 or 2 yrs old. He said after awhile he started imagining us as kids playing there and memories from the past to keep his mind off of it and awake. He said it was almost like seeing his life pass before him. It is very hard to imagine him being stuck there with no one around and laying with a mower in top of him. It is terrifying. He fractured 2 ribs on his left side, partially punctured left lung, fractured his right clavicle and some places in his left foot. It was terrible going to see him at university. Only 2 ppl were allowed in at a time. They had him on a stretcher that was too small for him and he was laying there trying to breathe. They had him on that stretcher in the ER for something like 6 hours. 2 of the hours I know we were waiting on his room to be cleaned! I mean seriously I would have gone up to clean it. Wasnt doing us any good to wait around. Anyway... it was terrible. My sis and I wentback together for awhile with him and were coaching him how to catch his breath. Bc of his punctured lung he didnt have full lung capacity and especially anytime he got upset or laughed he couldnt catch his breath. And with us back there he would start to think of how stupid it was that he even went to mow there and he would apologize and start to get upset.. we would try to keep his mind off of it but when we tried we usually would make him laugh which would have the same efffect on his breathing. And God knows we are all appreciative of ppl who care and want to come and make sure he is ok... but seriously when he is in the ER and cant breathe.. its not completely necessary to have visitors that you really havent seen for years. Not like he is in the position to carry on a conversation. We've had ppl say like "I wish we would have known about the accident sooner... we would have come to the hospital". Its really nice and all but he really needed the time to recooperate, ya know? So anyway.. its been about 2 weeks and he is doing much better... still cant walk on that foot for long (nor should he be trying to but he is getting cabin fever). Its hard for him to not be working bc this is the busiest time of the year. My sister's husband daniel has been working for the census job in Georgia the last few weeks and luckily he wasnt too attached and was able to come back up and take over the business for awhile until my dad gets back to norm. He is the only one that knows everything my dad knows about the business bc he's worked with him the last few years.
So now we are trying to keep him in the house and from getting out to work just yet. My mom has some pics of the mower and the rock wall he came off of- she may post on facebook soon if you care to see.

Last wkend (the wkend after the accident) Travis and I went to hocking hills to camp and just ahve a wkend away. I wil post that later. Promise!

Thank you for all who have been praying for my dad. It could have been soo much worse than it was. God definitely sent angels to protect him that day.

Follow up

2010-03-24T16:54:00.003-04:00

Regarding the previous post:

Mamo (my dad's mom) is back home after her stroke & rehab stay. I think she still has some weakness but is basically back to her old ornery self and making people laugh. Her son's have decided that its still appropriate for her and my gpa to live in their home as they were. My parents went with my gpa while they were visiting just to check out assisted living places in case they would have to make a move in the future. But for now they are doing well where they are.

Pa (my mom's dad) is still in the hospital. When he went in and they found the blood clots they also found he had pneumonia. I went to see him sunday and he was doing well but still fighting pain. Thought he would go home monday but I guess after some xrays decided to put a chest tube back in bc not all the fluid in the lung from the pneumonia was gone yet. Not sure how much longer he will be there.

Travis is over his sickness and after over 2 weeks mine is finally coming to a close. I had a terrible chest cold and cough... which migrated into a headcold about a wk ago. Cough & "cold voice" pretty much gone but still have a bit of a stuffy nose.

Thank you for all the prayers over these things.

In other news: my cousin's grandma has been battling breast cancer for years nows which traveled to her lungs and kidneys. She lost the fight on Tuesday. But now she's in a much better place than we are so really she has won. She was a great woman.

Prayers could also be used for this family. Her husband's name is Roy.

Prayers please!

2010-03-11T15:12:00.003-05:00

There has been different illnesses going on:

My dad's mom (mamo/ or Hazel) was taken to hospital monday I think and was practically parazlyzed on her Rt side with slurred speech. They said it looked like she could have had a mild stroke. A couple days later, my parents are now visiting with her and my gpa in colorado and they say she is doing a lot better. she can walk and do many things on her own now.. no slurred speech, with just some minor weakness still on that side. She is in rehab until next tues. The issue now is.. does she go home after this and her and my gpa continue to live independently as before? My gpa has severe neuropathy in his feet. It is debateable among his sons if he should even be driving still bc his sensation on the soles of his feet is basically none existent anymore. Plan B is to find them a nice assisted living place... but do they stay in CO or move back here? They currently live near my uncle but he is out of town a lot for his job and his wife has multiple sclerosis and is sick in bed much of the time... meaning she wouldnt be able to take care of them if they needed it. They have 2 daughters close to my age but are living on campus a couple hours away. My mom says they would like to keep them where they are in their house in CO, but she is researching assisted living places in OH and CO in case it comes down to it. The other issue is they dont have much money to go into a place like that. Please pray that my gma would heal completely and that they would all have peace about where my g-parents should continue living for now.

So as my parents were making plans for this trip to CO my mom got a call i think tues taht her dad (pa, or Tom) was taken to the hospital bc he was in pain and couldnt breathe. They found 2 blood clots, a large one in L lung and smaller one in R lung. --rewind-- a couple of wks ago my gpa was hunting up in a tree stand and he fell, leg got trapped in strap and he broke his leg. Well he got it checked out and is now wearing a brace. They had planned to go to FL bc he was scheduled to speak at some churches (he is a Pastor) and he is stubborn and wont ever say he cant do something so he decided to charge on with the 12-13 hr car ride to FL. My mom drove him and my gma (she wanted to see my sis). Long story made shorter... the car ride and not moving around is most likely what caused the clots.. bc they had just gotten home a few days before he was sent to hospital. Yesterday update was he was in a lot of pain and couldnt breathe very well. Please pray that he would be healed and encouraged by the people that come to see him (he had 28 visitors yesterday!.. but in too much pain to really talk with them).

And to top it all off.. (on a much more minor note)... Travis and I are sick... he has the whole head cold/sinus-y thing going on and mine is throat hurting/junk in my lungs that i cant cough up. I hope I'm not getting bronchitis or something. Luckily we dont have fevers or anything. Hopefully I'll be able to work tonight and not feel completely terrible.

If you made it through this you should go eat some icecream or something to cheer you up bc that was depressing.

Thank you for your prayers!

new things

2010-03-07T16:53:00.003-05:00

Let me start off by saying WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! We dont close until end of april but pretty much everything else is in order. Its been a whirlwind adventure and for awhile we didnt thnk it would work out bc of some issues... but we have gotten everything sorted out and its such a great deal. The owner is a Dr. and he is moving for a new job, starting july 1. Its amazing bc our lease is up june 30... how perfect! And since we are closing end of april they will be paying us 2months of rent. And we of course will be getting back the tax credit!! Its really amazing how everything has worked out so perfect. Our realtor is a friend of the family and been in the business for like over 20years and said this has been the best deal she has probably ever seen or been apart of! Here is the house, its in deerpark: http://www.sibcycline.com/viewlisting.asp?mls=1207166&b=CIN&p=RESI&s=SFRD&m=1&sender=SearchResults&a=3704-Lansdowne-Ave-Deer-Park-OH-45236
Very cute. Deer park wasnt our first choice, or really a place we were even remotely thinking about. but Travis is a researching freak and has been looking up houses like its his job and found this place. We are excited to get into it, hard to almost own a house but have to wait 3-4 months to move in.

In other news I may be reluctantly starting on my bachelors degree here soon. I'm not a big fan of school, but many of the hospitals are going to bachelor degrees only (I have an associates) and I have to have it in at least 9 or 10 years to keep working at christ hospital. ANd yes that is a long time from now but I would like to get it over with before kids come along and other craziness of life. Bc i have a feeling at this current point in mylife, it is the slowest life will get for me. SO it will probably be in fall i am assuming... i havent actually looked into it all that much yet. I'm nervous about how it could conflict with nightshift schedule but i guess it will work out somehow.

Ok so girls night soon? Carol thnaks for organizing. I desperately need some time. I never see anyone anymore except for work ppl and church ppl on sundays.
i miss everyone.

snow and new houses!

2010-02-09T09:36:00.002-05:00

Remember snow days?
I would wake up and look out my window, scream with joy, and go turn on the news as it read "Mason City Schools Closed". It didnt happen often, as I tend to think they valued learning over new driver's lives. But I dont get that anymore. I dont have snow days bc I work for a hospital. Good thing I have 4-wheel drive- I do have work tonight at 7p-7a and tomrrow as well.

News: we have kinda been looking at houses lately. We have been somewhat talked into this bc of the tax credit. But at the same time, we can be/are in the position that we could buy a house. Over the past couple of months we have been able to pay off a couple of our larger purchases that were our debt. So now all we have is our tv, Travis's car and his school loans. Its like we of course really dont want to rush into anything, but then again $8,000 tax credit in our pocket next year would be wonderful. So we are finding out how much we are approved for and talking with a family friend realtor. We have found one house that we really like. Its in pleasant ridge, only a couple of streets from where we are living now (closer to the highway, the street is right off ridge rd). Its 3 bdrm, 1.5 bath, nice closet space and large bdrms. Basement is small and short (unfortunate for travis) but we kinda expect that with an older house. Has a nice backyard, fenced in, with a deck and a shed for storage. We really like it but feel its a little overpriced for the area. Its one of the highest priced houses on the street. The couple has done a lot to the house but still overpriced, especially if you look at how much they paid for the house just 7 years ago. (like $60,000 less!) If it happens, we would probably be trying to make the move in may/june. June is when our lease is up, but if we have to we would just pay the extra month after we left or somehting. The owner's wife is prego and tahts why they want to move.. so unless someone comes in with a better offer (we havent made an offer yet) and wants to move quicker, I think we have a good chance if this is what God wants us to do. So I'll keep yall updated on this.

I would totally go sled riding today but Travis has my 4wheel drive car, I wouldnt know where to go and have no one to go with! I'm such a loser sometimes.

at least the snow is pretty to look at and I am inside a warm house. Lazy day! Which these days a lot of my life consists of :)
love you

Time

2009-12-29T17:00:00.001-05:00

growing up is a strange thing.

This time 2 years ago I was broken up with my first "real" boyfriend, living at my parents house, stressing about nursing school whether i would really make it, working at a for real prt time job at childrns hospital working like 8-12 hours a wk minimum. My sis and dan were living in the basement at the time and my brother and trishia were in hyde park. 2 years later, here i am married to that same boy who i was broken up from, living in a quiet little townhouse in pleasant ridge, finally thorugh nursing school working as an RN at the Christ Hospital. Linz and dan are now in florida and brett and trishia have 6 more months living in africa.

Wow how time has changed everything.

I love my life here with Travis and i wouldnt change it for anything. But it has definitly been an adjustment living with just one other person. At my parents house, we always had someone living there. Or at least had loud people over :) but here its so quiet. And since I work at night, yes i sleep during the day but I;m also home alot by myself during the day and it is so strange. I was really lonely and down a couple of weeks ago. I let myself fall into a whole. Travis is very supportive but at the same time he has experienced lonliness far more than i when he moved to cinci like 5 years ago for a job and didnt know anyone and built a life here.I need to be productive on these days I am home but its hard to force myself out of the house sometimes. I can have very lazy tendancies.

Its so strange not having my family around. THis was the first year that I can remember not having christmas with brett and lindsay. My parents spoiled travis and I though.. they got a ping pong table! Luckily we have just enought room for it in our basement and are so excited about it... we used to play alot at my parents house.

I would love to visit Brett and Trishia in Africa before they came back in june but with this new job and it being so overstaffed (meaning I havent been working as much as I am scheduled) it leaves me with few time off hours. My sister and daniel were able to go and I think are flying back today. And my parents went a few weeks ago. THey all say it was life changing. If you get a chance go to my facebook and trishia has been taggng me in some photos... its such a different life there.

As great as this christmas season has been for so many reasons, it has also been a time of sorrow. 2 marriages close to me are falling apart.. well one did and one is in God's hands currently. I also just found out a good friend of mine just lost her baby. The last few weeks for me have been a reminder of the importance of getting on my knees for my family and friends. Even as i say it i know i dont do it like i should be. We have the most powerful weapon in our grasps and still do not use it like we should. God asks us to call on him.
I dont know how i just got into a sermon here.

Yes my update has been awhile. Just a proof of my laziness lately.

Its November?!

2009-11-11T16:29:00.002-05:00

I've been on nightshift for 3 weeks now I think. HOnestly most of the time I dont even know what day it is. Working has been fine. STaying up isnt a problem because there are always things to do.. its when I'm off that ruins me. If I work 2 nights in a row, I pretty much sleep all day in between. But its hard knowing how to sleep when I;m off the next night. Like today.. worked last night and off tonight so I tried to only sleep like 4-5 hrs so that I'll be able to sleep tonight like a normal person. But then I work again tomrrow night so its like I guess ill just nap sometime tomororw before I go in? Still working on this schedule. BUt if I only sleep a few hrs I am like useless all day. I have no energy but am bored of doing nothing! I hear working nights for however long takes years off your life- Ihope thats not true! I dont know how long I'll be on this shift, but I know dayshift will be so different it will be hard to switch. And the pay difference is awesome! -- definitly incentive to stay for awhile.
Marriage is good. This schedule in marriage sucks. Some days I get to see travis for about an hour in the evening for dinner.. i try to prepare before he gets home... then I go off to work. and If I'm lucky I can see him in passing when I get home before he leaves if I book it out of work.. which isnt always possible. But the brightside is I currently work 3d/wk so we have 2 evenings we can spend together and i get up with him on the mornings I'm off. And the wkends have slowed down so at least we have those too.
I really cant believe its november already. Its like the days are just passing.
I miss my friends! The couple friend dates I've made lately I've slept through my alarm and missed! dang nightshift. I did get to see baby jack and the beautiful family.

Ok going to get new tires and force myself to workout-- been swimming lately.. its the only thing I can motivate myself to do that is active :)
love you.

no real news

2009-10-18T22:33:00.003-04:00

hellooo! So in case you are interested in sseeing wedding pics this link should work. THe professional pics are finally up. :
http://www5.snapfish.com/shareephotolib/shared_view=recently_shared/p=863181255900597221/l=665806027/g=214783027/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB/first_visit=true/pns/share/p=863181255900597221/l=665806027/g=214783027/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

Oh and if you do have some pics that you would like to upload to the site I have how to log into snapfish a few posts back.

I have survived my first 2 weeks of the new job. It will be very stressful at times but also very rewarding. Tomorrow night (monday) I will be starting nightshift. During orientation i will be working mon, tues, thurs nights. Which really isnt bad at all. When Im out of orientation i should be working 3 (12hr) nights a wk and every third wkend. I'm nervous but kinda anxious to start nights. So we'll see! I'll let you iknow how it goes.

Yesterday Travis and I bought pumpkins and carved them. It was the first time Travis had ever carved a pumpkin! I loved sharing that with him. When I find my camera-comp adaptor I'll upload the pics. Then we made pumpkin roll with real pumpkin. If you've never had it you are missing out! Its SO good.

I'm excited for baby jack. I've been thinking I could take some night shifts at the Bird house once he's home since I'll alrady be acclamated to staying up all night :)

I love you.

august 29, 2009

2009-09-28T16:30:00.002-04:00

So it has been over 4 weeks now. Wow I am such a slacker! Life has been busy and rolling on.

<<>>

I am so happy with how the wedding turned out. It said all week that it was supposed to rain on saturday and it was beautiful!! Nobody even needed the program fans to use bc it was so windy... which was a little irritating with my veil in both of our faces, and I kept replaying in my head as my grandpa was talking that the sand vases were going to knock over and all would go everywhere. I was praying against that the entire first part of the ceremony, so sorry Pa (grandpa) I dont remember anything you said. I loved the girls in their dresses and the little girls. I didnt love almost tripping down the stairs. Too long of a dress + heels + grass on stairs wasn't the best combination for me :) Luckily I had my dads arm to hold me up. I loved all the people I love getting to be there to witness it. This is where I have to say "ok mom, you were right to invite 400 people, i guess". We actually had less than 300 though I think. The older flower girl, Reagan, was told to make sure she followed me when we went out of the wedding. It was so cute bc we had to come back down to dismiss rows and I look back and theres reagan, right behind us :)
The entire reception was spent talking to people but i still didnt get around to everybody! Most of you know that I cant dance so I wasnt really sad about not getting to dance, but I did miss watching my dad do the worm and my grandma dance with some other family. The toasts were great, the cake was amazing- i only tasted what was smashed in my face. Which, by the way, went up my nose! I was like- seriously? Up the nose? Like completely up there. But I didnt have time to go blow it out bc I think we danced next or something. Its weird what people want to talk about on your wedding day. Not that I wasnt interested but its just like.. what? Like right after the cake-immediately before travis and i danced together a woman came up to me and was like.. sarah.. did you know travis's best man and I grew up together at the same church? Isnt that crazy? As shes finishing this amazing story travis is pulling my arm like... Lady we have to go dance our first dance now! It was kinda funny but so random. Did I need to know that small gem of info right then?

Highlights of the reception:
*watching my little cousins and olivia dancing like little angels!
*Travis's mom, dad, stepmom and other family in a small circle talking together! How amazing is that? They've been divorced for like 17 years and havent really spoken since. Its amazing what God can do with a little time. It was such a blessing for travis to have all that family there for him.
*At one point Olivia came up to me and I bent down and she kissed me right on the nose! Sweetest moment and I wish someone had a camera!!
*We had a bridal suit upstairs that was a little shady... there was a couch that had like hair all over it and we couldnt figure it out. Me and Linz went up there like half way through for something and we see the ugliest cat ever sitting on top of the couch. now we understand where the hair came from. so..where did the cat come from? stillll puzzled.
*I had a white dress to change into at the end of the reception to leave and of course I where those white undies the ladies bought me with blue "bride" on the butt. And what do you know? You can see it right through the dress! So I ended up having a white tank top that i used as a slip as we left :)

There were many more moments that I can talk about but lets not get more lengthy here. We should be getting disc for pics back on friday... so I'll post them when I can.
I took too long to write this, so soon I will update you on life as it is now.

Until then.. love and peace.

the Mrs.

2009-09-14T19:55:00.006-04:00

I love these girls........

These little ones are my cousins daughters and they took flowers off the tables and brought them up to me at the end of the wedding. They were so sweet!

I know I should have a lot more to say but I havent had much time to just do nothing lately so I'll catch you all up later.

Love you.

2 DAYS!!

2009-08-27T23:46:00.002-04:00

Pray for great weather!! It is an outside wedding so bring your sunglasses. The programs are fans so that should help if its hot :) We do have an inside plan B if we MUST, but I dont think we will have to use that. I'm being positive. I'm so excited! But nervous about being center of attention (not about getting married!) I cant wait to be on the beach in cancun though. It will be nice to not worry about school or tests that my life depends on or jobs or planning anything!!! It will be Travis, the beach, sunshine, and more food/desserts than one should ever eat! :)

LOVE YOU! See you soon.

snapfish!

2009-08-15T15:48:00.002-04:00

hey so I stole a really great idea.

I'm thinking people may take pictures at the wedding. Whether it be of me or yourselves I'd like to see them. So I created a snapfish account where whoever takes any pics can upload them there (if you want to) for all to see. The cool thing too about snapfish is that you can buy pics right from the website. You could even purchase an album that they would make for you and send to you. Its a great website with a lot of good pic ideas and it is where i made the save-the-date postcards. So if you take pics at the wedding and would like to share go to http://www.snapfish.com and i created a gmail email account for this so the
email you must enter is: travisandsarahwhite@gmail.com
password: weddingphotos

Then go to upload photos. I was thinking maybe name the album something with your name in it so i know who took them. If you prefer not to thats fine too. Also, if you have a problem with me printing your photos without asking please let me know now or you may not want to participate.

Thanks so much! I have so many amazing photographer friends and I'm excited to see the pics from this very special day in my life!

taste the rainbow

2009-08-15T13:22:00.002-04:00

I've been working with my dad and WOW was it hot this week. He always has things going wrong with mowers but fortunatly for me it was to my advantage this week because I discovered a new love. So we get to West Chester Lawn and I go in to pee and get some water and discover there is a candy machine... hmm. I grab a quater place it in the machine and slowly turn the knob as I catch the stream of colored little candies in my hand. I place one in my mouth and smile... sugar-y goodness. I heart skittles. Have not had any for probably years but now I'm craving them at the worst time ever... 2 wks before I need to look good in a dress. i agree not to touch them until the plane ride to the honeymoon :) ALong with my beloved peanut butter m&ms!

Can you believe 2 weeks?! I will be MRS. White. Pretty good and simple last name if I may say so. There are a lot of undesireable last names out there. I am getting really excited. The colors are going to be beautiful!! I was afraid i would be bored when I chose blue bc I wasnt sure what flowers I could use. But our flower guys is amazing and will be adding a lot of color and I am SO not bored with his ideas! Some of you may have been around me at teh beginning of all this planning when I did not seem as excited bc I get really overwhelmed with lists of to-do. But now we are getting down to it and I am not stressed and we dont really have much else to get done. Except currently I am trying to clean out my room(s). I emptied my room of all the furniture.. now at the new place, which is why I say room"s" bc I sleep in one... and also currenly have boxes and clothes everywhere, and all my other clothes are in another. So my goal for today is to get organized. Its hard at this pt for me bc its really too early to pack for honeymoon (some things) but I'm trying to move the rest of my stuff to the new house but still have 2 wks of days I'll need clothes here. I'll work it out.

Oh and you know what sucks? Tan lines. I work outside everyday and have some pretty rough ghetto tan lines that are not gonna fly in a strapless dress. I guess it could be worse but the bad part is a tan neck and a not-so-tan back. Also my feet are WHITE... which wont matter so much at wedding but will when I'm in a bathing suit!.. or just wearing shorts and flipflops. I am going to tanning bed but my bronzer isnt workng as well as i hoped. I wear bronzer on white spots and 35 on tan areas :) If only I was evenly as tan as my legs are from the ankle to just above the knee! The little things us spoiled americans worry about. Tan lines. Its rediculous.

Gotta go clean!

nclex

2009-08-09T21:06:00.002-04:00

I took my nursing state boards on thursday. 5 hours and 265 questions later............ I PASSED!!!!
Travis found out for me on saturday and I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to not have to worry about it anymore!! I can really just focus on wedding stuff and relaxation :) for the next 3 weeks! I was sitting here with travis relishing in the fact that I can now surf the net, play games, watch movies with a clear conscience, w/o thkning I must be doing somehting! (except wedding stuff.. but not much left to do).
Praise GOd. He is so good though I still doubt that he will keep his promises sometimes he always comes through! *(this time what was in his will just happened to also be what I really wanted!)

love you.

secrets out

2009-08-02T22:02:00.002-04:00

I have been anxiously awaiting an email saying that i can finally take the Nursing state boards. The final thing I must master before I am actually an RN. I actually recieved this notification about 3 weeks ago and scheduled my test but havent told many. And I told my mom not to either. I thought initially I didnt want to tell anyone bc what if I dont pass and I would have to tell that to everyone. But If I didnt tell... i could retake it and then let everyone know. But how stupid is that to think I may not pass! I can not think negatively here... I CANNOT AFFORD IT! So I am scheduled for my test THIS thursday, August 6 at 0800 in Dayton. Please I could so use your prayers!! I just feel like God did not bring me this far to let me fail now. If you think you may forget later please say a small prayer now......... THANK YOU! I will be able to find out the results on saturday sometime via internet or phone. I think I will prob be more nervous finding out than actually taking the test!! But in just a week from now it will be over and I will know.... but until then.... study sTuDy STUDY!!! I cant wait for the wekend. And hey... I have less than 4 weeks to be single! Its really seemed more real the last couple of days. My mom even cried this week once! And she is not a very emotionally show-ey person. I so cannot wait for vacation!!!

Africa

2009-07-28T20:27:00.002-04:00

As many of you may know, my brother and his wife are now living in Africa.. and will be for a year (or 2 they may now be saying). Their purpose there is to start a sports camp which will also be a ministry to many kids and also adults in Kenya. (There town is called Bulbul).And they will train some native kenyans to eventually take over the ministry. They have a blog and if anyone would like to stay updated with whats going on with them it is here:

http://btralston.blogspot.com/

everything

2009-07-11T16:59:00.002-04:00

As far as the guest book goes I've gone back and forth and have ruled out the picture signing idea and boring regular guestbook. What I've decided to do: my mom and dad bought me a photo album that has a small area to the side of each picture where guests can write memories or advice/good luck/we hate you/whatever they want to write. And as they walk in someone can take pics of each family and later we will get them developed and put it next to their words. I realize that with 400 people it will take awhile so kyoung (who will be manning the book...THANK YOU!!) and someone else can tell ppl that they can wait and write in it at reception if they'd prefer. I'm hoping this will work. Is anyone interested in taking pics as ppl walk in? You can use my digital camera. I may need a couple ppl... would make it faster and there are 2 ways ppl can walk to wedding and this way we can catch them at both sides. I can't believe there are only 7 wks!! I've gotten a lot done the last 2 wks but stil have so much to do! Its been kinda hard just bc I dont really have bridesmaid help.. 2 are out of town and the other one is 16 and life-consumed. She cant help it :) But as much as my mom and I argue about EVERYTHING, she really has been a great help. I mean A-mazing.
Oh and no sign of taking state boards as of yet. I have to recieve the "OK to test" from the ohio board of nursing and I prob wont get that until end of this month. Which means i may not get to take my test until beg-mid aug and I start my job aug 17!! Everything happening so fast.

i need idea help

2009-06-28T22:00:00.003-04:00

I've been trying to think of a differnt guest book idea. I have been thinking of doing a pic in a large frame and having everyone sign it.. but with almost 400 people there it may be difficult to fit everyones name :)
What I really want to do is like take a pic of the guest families as they come in and make a book where they can sign their name and maybe write advice or something.. and put the pics next to it. Polaroid film is too expensive so maybe I could just have someone use my digital and ill print them out later. But that may be too much trouble! And could still get expensive with so many people and pictures!! I dont know what to do I just dont want to have a boring sign in book that will be stored away in a closet that I will never look at again.

Also, anyone seen any cute wedding hairstyles lately :) ?? Since it will be aug and hot I will probably go with up-hair (not originally preferred).

I hate these decisions! I just want to have everythng ready. Oh and invites for parties should be out soon. And since nobody let me know about days I shouldnt have it I guess you'll just have to deal with whatever day it is :)

Chrissi I wish you could be here!!

petrified flies and new found time

2009-06-21T15:59:00.004-04:00

It is strange when you walk out of a room and notice inkgthe dog frantically searching the floor in a spastic kind of manor, and just when you think its over you see a fly inching to spare its life when all of the sudden the dog lunges in one motion to gobble up the fly, as you hear the soft crunching of its small helpless body in the mouth of the small, but obviously ferocious yorkie.

So finally I have graduated. It is strange to think that I actually have time to do things that I want and need to do now. I will be working with my dad probably at least wed-fri each week so that gives me some days to work on wedding stuff and cleaning... since we just moved my fouton bed and my dressers out of my room it is now a mess!! I forgot how much crap was under the bed. So I have mucho cleaning and organizing to do this week. Yes we moved travis into what will be our place yesterday. It is really nice and I am excited that we decided on this place. When we get it cleaned up and put away a bit i will invite you over.

Everything is happening so fast! Just 2 months away.

love you. I'm trying to update more often :)

freedom

2009-06-18T15:07:00.004-04:00

One more day!! I still wont be able to take my state boards for like 30-50 days-ish from now. which is kinda scary considering that takes us to mid-july/beg-august and I am supposed to begin my job aug 17.... but I cant really think about it too much bc i've done all i can up to this point and now its just a waiting game. Good thing I have planning a wedding to keep my mind busy :)
I cannot beleive that we are movning travis into our place on saturday! Pray that it will not be raining bc my dad is taking time to load some stuff on his work trailer to bring it down for us, I'd hate to not be able to do it on sat.

Anyway. Happy almost weekend. One more day!!!

oh and my sister surprised me from Florida last night to be here for graduation!! She'll be here til sunday. How great is that.

I see the light!

2009-06-15T22:10:00.002-04:00

Four more days and counting!! (till graduation) I only have one more thing to do for school.. which is a 2 hr discussion on wed i think to help us "debrief" after the last 2 years. I also have to complete like 800 more practice questions before they let me sit for state boards. But I can actually breathe now... no more papers, tests, speeches, activities! I just finished my 6 weeks of working with a preceptor at the hospital on sunday. I am so glad to be finished, but it was a really good experience. On the last day I had a patient write me (andn some other nurses) some poems. The first time I've ever had a poem written for me i think. It was really funny but sweet. He was a very joyful person for being in the hospital with a heart issue. He let everyone know that he was saved by grace and that he knew God was looking for someone strong to give this disease to and chose him to have this disease because he knew he was strong enough to push through it and still be a great testimony for the Lord. How awesome is that? It was great to have him around.. even though he wasnt my patient. Its rare to come across someone like that on a heart unit at the hospital. Very refreshing. Oh and before I left he asked if he could pray for me so we closed his door and he did. We prayed as he sat in his hospital bed and I stood beside him holding his hand. What a sweet ending to my time there. It was odd though, as I thought about it, that he was the one in the hospital but asked to pray for ME. Its amazing to me how God shows up sometimes.

So I have almost 2 months left until I am married. How crazy is that? Travis moves into our place this saturday, which will be nice bc I am going to move some of my stuff in now, not to have to worry about so much later. I'm really excited to have our girls night there once he gets all moved in! I will let you all know a showerish/party thing date once I figure it all out. Are there any wkends like the end of june/all of july that wouldnt work for anyone? Let me know!

I love you! I will post my poems from that guy later.
Chrissi hope you are enjoynig australia! I would love to hear if youve picked up an accent yet :)

the rain is nice

2009-05-14T16:42:00.002-04:00

We have been looking for a place to live for travis to move in around end of june and we finally found a place!!! Its in pleasant ridge and i guess its actually considered a town house. Ideally we wanted hyde park/norwood area but everything was so expensive or there was always a catch to the ones that werent.. like with one that I loved Travis found out there were 2 recent drug busts down the street. We decided to X that one. So I went and looked at the pleasant ridge one last week, but travis had already been and loved it. And we gave them our application and as of this coming monday it will be ours!! So excited. He will begin moving june 20th, as that is as long as they prefer to hold it for us, but thats ok bc he is itching to get away from his roommates, and begin putting our home together. Its amazing how things have been working out, timewise, because I graduate on june 19th.. we move him june 20th. Perfect, as long as it doesnt rain.
Speaking of graduating..... JUNE 19th! Crazy 5 weeks away! There is so much to do before then but I know its just gonna fly and I'm gonna be wondering where the time went. So it is I think at the convention center downtown (on a friday at 7p) if anyone wants to come you are very welcome so let me know, no tickets needed, but I dont expect a whole gang. It should last only an hour. I am not having a grad party considering the fairly large party I will be having in august, its just too much for people and I'm ok with it. So maybe when travis gets all moved in I'll steal our place for a evening and we can have a graduation/bachelorette party/bridal shower shower with my girls! :) (sorry chrissi i will miss you!)
even though I've been horrible at keeping up these days I like how everyone is donig well with posting... I love knowing whats going on and what you are thinking. Love you.

life and jobs

2009-04-13T10:04:00.003-04:00

I only have 8 more wks of school! I feel like its been such a whirlwind since the first day I started in Aug 2007. Time has flown by. Back then I never would have guessed that I would be planning a wedding while studying for state boards. I probably would have tried to talk myself out of it really.. just knowing how stressful it would all be. But its coming along and I think the timing will really work out perfectly (as long as I pass boards!! I need so much prayer!!) Saturday was my last day working at childrens hospital. It was definitly bittersweet. I will miss the little ones. I think it helped me not be as sad saturday bc I had a little one year old who was in the room alone (no parents at the hospital) and would scream/cry anytime I left the room for pretty much the entire 12 hr shift. Usually kids seem to wear themselves out after awhile... but not her. She would cry for hours and her door was closed but you could hear her down the hallway. I did try to play with her when I could, and I fed her, but I had like 4-5 other pts so I couldnt stay in there all day. I felt more bad for the families with rooms next to her. It was fun, though, whenI did have time to go in and play with her. She was a cutie. So I'm moving from cleaning little butts to big butts. Well hopefully with my rehab job it wont be so much about cleaning butts... they should be able to do it mostly themselves but you never know. I am getting excited about this job though. Childrens was great but it didnt really feel like a "real" job bc I was there like 1-2 days a week. At Christ I will be working 36 hours a week, and although it is nightshift, i will be glad to have a regular schedule finally. And no school work to take home!!
Travis has been thinking about going back to school for his masters so we have been talkign about when the best time for that would be. It would be tough I think with him taking night classes we really wouldnt see eachother at all.. bc I would go into work at 7pm... but I'd rather him do it sooner rather than a couple years down the road when we would like to have kids (crazy that I'm talking about kids!.. he wants to wait 5 years though).
just more to think about.

I really have to go study... have a big maternity test on wednesday.. kate I am learning all about you right now!!
Love you all.

the case of the overwhelms

2009-03-27T00:46:00.003-04:00

Clinical has been cancelled thursday and friday due to my instructor being ill. It is nice that I have a few days to catch up but I feel like I am drowning in all the stuff I have to do! I know I am making progress but I just cant seem to finish and on top of it all we are getting extra assignments for these days we are off. But the assignments take hours to do. Or maybe I'm just slow. Just recently I've been thinking more about my honeymoon/vacation that is in just 5months and I just cant wait for it to get here! Oh to breathe the fresh air and not have to study or write papers or do case studies!! Some people think it gets easier knowing its all almost over, but I think its so much harder because I want it all NOW! Its so close but not quite in reach. Like a tease. In many respects of the word (hint: honeymoon). I just needed to vent.
I think my body is preparing itself for my upcoming biological clock change (nightshift in Aug). Back inthe day i used to stay up until like 3am just because.. I just did. I like the quiet and feeling that its my free time to do whatever or something. Well Travis has kinda trained me the last couple years to go to bed early because I usually talk to him before bed (which for him is anywhere 10-11) and then i just go to bed. This week its been like midnight-1am. It also helps that I dont have to wake up at 5 tomorrow for clinical :)
I am going to bed now. I hope I will be able to stay up for nightshift coming soon.

take a breath. its all worth it and one day I will wonder who is this 60 year old woman and where did the time go? And desperately want this time back.

I am craving girl time by the way! But dont know when its possible to hang out.

the JOB

2009-03-12T18:35:00.002-04:00

I was starting to do better at frequent postings but here I go again being slacker like.
So... bc of my mass text message yesterday many of you know that I finally GOT A JOB!! Well... i have a job but I know I have a CAREER opportunity! Which is crazy to think... this is the rest of my life! So I had a couple of interviews about a wk and a half ago and found out yesterday that I will be working on the Rehab unit of Christ Hospital. I start training on Aug 17 (the week off for honeymoon vaca 2 wks later is still to be discussed). It is night shift... kinda expected it but definitly mixed feelings about it... i hate the thought of being on an opposite schedule than everyone and not getting to spend time with my man on those days. But it helps that I'm wired to be a nightowl and the shifts are 12hrs which makes it only 3 days a week and its like $4 an hour more than day shift. So definitly some perks. I will deal with it... but i heard years of night shift= years taken off your life. So.. i guess we'll see :) It will be hard to be on opp schedules starting off our marriage but then again we will see eachother much more than now which will be great!
Speaking of... things are really coming together for the big day. I think almost everyting is at least set in motion. I'm really excited about my flowers. The flower guy is great and suggested an idea for flowers/color that deep down i wanted but thought i could never get away with. Wont be too crazy. But fun for sure.
And chrissi we did call your friend photographer and she is great... it is set!

I think i may quit childrens hospital within the next couple of weeks. Well this scheudle ends april 11th so it may be my last day. I just really wanted to solidify a job at christ before i quit... but it will be nice not to have to worry about scheduling days and getting enough hours in, etc. My dad is starting back to work this weeks so I may work like a day or couple during the wk with himand make more than at childrens anyway. This way I can focus more on studying and graduating!! (june 19th!) then I'll take a couple weks off after that and lock myself inside to study for state boards. Hopefully I pass and can have some time off before preparing for wedding (aug 29) and starting my career (aug 17). OH and sometime in there travis will be moving into our apt in hyde park near crossroads church... maybe early june actually.

i miss you! life will be so weird post wedding... SO many life changes! Just glad I have such a great man. He really helped me through this whole job thing and really helped coach me through interviews and what to do next. I dont think I would have gotten it without him! Thanks Travis!

love you all.

So I'm following the herd...

2009-02-01T14:34:00.004-05:00

Many years ago I created my "random quotes" book. It has kept me and others very entertained. Anytime I hear a random saying, or funny encounter... any humorous moment, I try to remember to write it down in my book for later enjoyment. So...instead of making up 25 things about myself I'm going to write 25 (or more) of what I consider to be the top humorous things in my book. DISCLAIMER... I understand not all of these will be funny to you. Some were funny in context and may not make sense if you werent there. But they were all funny to me at one point. Also. I apologize if you are quoted and it is embarrassing 

Before I start the quotes... I MUST begin with this picture:
#1:

This is my dad's senior picture. Other than the fact that this is a GREAT photo scanned from the "dictograph" of 1971, notice the name. His given birth name was Larry, not Lawrence. Poor chap.

Now the quotes:

2. "What do we know about strangers? That they want to hurt us and kill us with their candy" –Joe boyd. VCC

3. "Let’s put it this way, if I adopt Travis he’ll be your step bro and all you’ll be able to do is play ball and go skating" – my dad

4. "I need to call someone that has cancer" –my mom (the start of the random quotes book)

5. "It doesn’t matter how old a brotha is.. he is always cut!" –KTB

6. "I think my man of integrity got lost and won’t stop and ask for directions" –CT

7. "I just want to google so many things!" – Dyah

8. "Tiger, too bad its not the future…. LAZER CATS!!" –Jimi

9. "Why would anyone hate coldplay? That’s like hating a little lamb" –Lindsay

10. "It’s okay… I won’t bite, I left my teeth in the car" (this is a for real statement made by a
lady who knocked on my car window needing gas for her car).

11. "Quien.. Que… Cuando… so why do they call it ty-cuando?"- Kati.. learning spanish :)
"Um.. I think its TY KWAN DOE" -me

12. "Nice man bag" "Thanks, I call it a 'murse'". –Scotty

13. "That’s better than getting kicked in the butt with a baseball shoe" (my 75 year old uncle).

14. "If you ever get tired, pull over and let someone else drive. Don’t wait until you start seeing pink elephants run across the road" –KTB’s mom

15. “You died part of your hair.. it looks cute, what did you use?” –me talking to an 8 year old girl from my parents’ church. Her response: “Thanks, I used my mom’s mustache stuff”. (CLASSIC).

16. "The dog is forever in the push up position" –Scotty

17. "I don’t know much about music.. but you know what I DO know about? Robes… they are sweet" –KTB

18. "Have you ever google-earth searched Bin Laden? I’m know I’m gonna find him!" –my mom.. of course.

19. (From me to Lindsay) “So you first said ‘I love you’ at a bowling alley…with the smoky room and sweaty… balls…?"

20. Lindsay: "Were you ever diagnosed for your ADD?"
Travis: "No, I was too busy doing something else"

21. "I HATE PUBERTY!" –spoken by a 23 year old male.

22. "The Washington Memorial… it was shaped like that because, well, I don’t remember why" –dad. “That’s what she said” –me

23. Funny conversation when my aunt called my house and my sister answered the phone like this:
“Hola? Valesques residence”
My aunt: “Hello?”
Lindsay “Hola?........ This is the Ralston’s”
Aunt: “Oh.. I thought this was the Chinese restaurant”

24. From 30 rock: “Who is Conan O’Brien and why is she so sad?”

25. "I really like these cars. Especially the overhead viewing stations" –my 85 year old grandmother

26. "I’m sick of weddings and don’t know what to wear… I think I’m gonna no-shirt rebel to this one"

27. “If there was such a thing as a ‘smell track’, this would be it for our life”. (me to travis after he farts)

28. Dan gently touches Travis’ hand. Travis says: “Dan… I’m confused”

*Ok so it was 28.... I'm sure there are many more.. perhaps I will post some along the way as they happen. It brings me great joy to read back over some of these.

And thats all.

large zippered mom jeans

2009-01-27T00:15:00.006-05:00

I brought my dress home saturday! And I am going to be selfish and say that we should have a girls night so I can try it on again! I love it. And of course I'd have a girls night to see you all :) Things are moving along. I still would like the guest list to be like 100 ppl shorter. My mom and I worked on shaving it down today... we ended up with 11 more than when we started... huh. Would not exactly call that a success. I'm giving up... its going to be big and I'm going to be terrified. But its one day it will be fabulous and then it will be over and I'll be in Cancun thinking "wow i cant believe its already over!" Of course I will be laying by the ocean with my man at that point very relieved that it IS in fact over. Can i just say i hate 90% of it? Bringing my dress home sat was the most excited I've been over any of it but later in the day had arguments with the fiance and myself about the wedding moneys and things i dont want, stresses, etc. I understand the man hates this stuff but he should understnad I dont exactly love planning and i need some moral support (which he is usually great at but not this day). I'm chugging along... if I think too much about planning and all i have to do to finish school, and trying to get a job before the wedding (and be able to take immediate time off from a new job!), and moving him in a new place in july, and all the stuff in between... i get really overwhelmed. One day and one plan at a time. Did I say that I am not a planner? I hate planning even dinners. or freak... what to do on my days off! I have kinda worked on a wedding web page thing... here is our link: www.theknot.com/ourwedding/sarahralston&traviswhite
In other news... my man got PROMOTED!! For those who dont nkow he works for a promotions company called PEP which manages promotions for companys such as P&G. For one... they re-(whatever you call it...) their annual contract with P&G... who decided to let PEP take over all of their promotions and drop the other company! So in turn they have to hire new people to take some lead roles... Travis was a manager for fem care (unfortunate for him) and some oral care. When he moves into his position he will be a supervisor over 4 or 5 ppl and in control of all oral B and P&G oral care letting him wave goodbye to tampax and always :) Which is so great for him bc he loves the oral care stuff. I just had to brag on him for a minute. I am so proud of him!
So... i missed girls night. How bout we plan one like more than a day ahead next time? and more regularly! i miss my community. Not that I dont LOVE my fiance... I do.. but I'm not so much involved with anyone anymore just cuz we've been so busy uand any time we have (which is usually wkends) we want to spend together bc it is so sparce. But i need girly time too. i crave it sometimes. i know the phone works both wasy but sometimes i suck at remembering to call so call me if you think about it! If i dont answer i WILL call you back :)
TV is the devil. Why is it I have so much to do but sometimes i just want to watch crappy tv shows? One day a couple weeks ago I started watching the bad girls club. Rediculous but funny. I realized how obnoxious it was that i was watching it and decided to stop... next thing i know i am recording future episodes... who am i and what is this going on? I'm trying to take a tv hiAtus but its not working so much. I did go through today with no tv bc i had to study... but i took like a 2 hr break and searched through facebook, blogs, wedding junk, etc on the internet. So now my computer is the devil. Or hey... maybe I am the problem?... nah... its all them trying to get to me. I am going crazy talking about this like they are people. Its late... i'm regressing back to grade school when I would stay up late hoping school would be canceled the next day :)
love you all.

This is for kate: "if you wear mom jeans, pimp juice is NOT for you"
You still have that video? wasnt kyoung there too? good times

in my head..

2009-01-05T21:01:00.002-05:00

So... I finally decided on my dress! It is beautiful and a great relief. Things are moving along. I am hoping that when it gets down to the last couple months we will have most everything done... or wrapping up.. and will maybe not be as stressful as is anticipated?
Its funny how God reveals things to you through others, isnt it? I had an experience tonight like that. I was thinking about a friend of mine and how I feel like she has no idea how precious she is... how amazing God's love is for her... and that it is not conditional. She was saying how she felt God may be mad at her bc of things she's done but ...his love doesnt decrease bc of the sins. As I was thinking about all this it kinda hit me that I too so often underestimate who I am in his eyes... ya know? I rate how I think He feels about me by the things I do... the sin in my life. Travis whispered to me one day out of nowhere "God is not mad at you". It is something I know but that I dont often believe.
I have a heavy burden for a friend tonight... is it weird to say I've almost missed that? I used to feel that a lot around certain people. And not to say that its great to feel burdened for people all the time but lately I've been so wrapped up in my own life that I havent been very in tune with those around me. And for that I apologize. Life is different... and it will only change even more. And I am very excited.. i will be living life beside my best friend in just 8 months. But its so easy to become so self-centered and I dont like feeling like that. I realized tonight that I have the most powerful thing at my grasp (we all do) that I havent been taking part in... PRAYER. i underestimate the power of prayer. And in this day when so many are hurting, and even friends with everyday issues, and bigger ones... surgeries, broken hearts, new jobs, money issues.... prayer is so important. So pretty much I realized my deep need to communicate with God in prayer and plead on my knees for my friends.

I start classes tomorrow. In 6 months I will be finishing up school preparing to graduate. In 7 months I will be brain-fried hopefully ready to take the nclex (state test). In 8 months I will be getting a new job and preparing to get married. I am excited, anxious and scared.

I'm done blogging for tonight..

AGAIN!!

2008-12-18T00:19:00.004-05:00

SO.... we went wedding dress shopping yesterday! My mom, lindsay and my grandma from colorado were with me. It was fun but also made me anxious. We went to Davids bridal and I tried alot on. I liked almost all of them and ended up with a top 3 with 2 others on my mind. But honestly I never had a "THIS ONE IS IT!" moment with any of them... maybe my expectations were too high? or too low? or maybe I didnt have any and that was the problem? When I went home, though, i kept on thinking about the 2nd dress that I had tried on that I really liked but the color of the beading was different than what I would prefer. But thinking about it and looking at it in the magazine and looking it up online again.... I think it may jsut be my top favorite.. and to think it wasnt even in my top 3! This is crazy that I am buying a wedding dress. I was watching some wedding shows on tv today and I was just not excited at all... it sounds horrible. I hate planning... I hate having all the attention on me... I'm not a good dancer (which kinda terrifies me). The more i htink about it the more I wish I would have gone with my initial gut instinct to do a destination wedding and invite only fam and close friends. I hate the fact that there will be people at my wedding that I really dont care are there... that I have to invite bc my mom is friends with them or bc we have known them my whole life. So enough about all that... even I am getting sick of hearin and talking about it!!! Life will be a big adjustment for me when we are married... i know a lot of things will hit me hard. But I think I am ready.... as much as I could think I am ready I guess. I have a brilliant man who loves me and would do absolutely anything for me... and whom I also love unconditionally (which is a miracle for me to find someone and not want to run away). He is responsible and smart with money and will take care of me and teach me a lot about being an adult and not living in a house full of people as the youngest child. I'm ready for it because I love him and life brings change and blessings and its time for me to live my own life and stop living inside of others. Not to say I wont still have a life with friends and family... i just mean it will be MY life... I mean OUR life. We will be starting a family with me and him. You dont have to have children for it to be a family. and i will be with him "until death do us part" because I CHOOSE him. We choose eachother. We understand that love is not only a feeling it is a choice. If I could only get one thing out of marriage, it would be that through loving Travis and being loved in return, I would somehow come close to wrapping my mind around God's unconditional love for us.

Christmas is coming. Be joyful.

HELLO

2008-12-09T18:49:00.003-05:00

Hey friends. I am still alive. I have finals this week: one wed and one thurs then I will be on BREAK!!! You dont know how excited I am to be free from this for 3 weeks!! Well I will have some stuff to do but wow how I can almost feel freedom :) Its been a crazy household as usual.. so linz moved out in aug, brett& trishia moved back in in october and stayed for 4 weeks then moved to alabama, dan moved out a couple weeks ago (to FL with linz).. brett and trishia are back (just visiting) as of last week and will be here till like the 20th, my g-parents got in town last sat and are leaving the 22nd, linz&dan are coming sunday and are staying through the new year. Did you get all that? Its just a swinging door. Oh and I'll be here until the end of Aug :) As far as wedding planning goes we have the reception booked and I have been workign on the never ending guest list (hoping for no more than 350... preferably less). When linz gets here next week we will be going dress shopping.. which will make it a lot more real, I'm sure, than it feels to me now. Still not compeltely sure about colors or decor, although I do have a few changing ideas, but I'm hoping to see a bridesmaid dress in a certain color and just know thats what I want. Can I just say that planning is so not my forte. I told Travis that I will try not to complain about anything and be excited... its just I see all the stuff we have to do and I get overwhelmed and dont want to do anything. But I have alot of good support around me willing to help so I really should just be thankful for that. Oh and we have chosen a honeymoon... or should I sayy that travis and my mom chose a honeymoon and I looked at it when they decided :) And for the huge news.... Travis went to see his dad and stepmom for thanksgiving and they said they want to pay for the rehearsal dinner AND the HONEYMOON!! I could not believe it!! Such a blessing! That takes off so much pressure.
And as far as the party people goes.. we are keeping it short and sweet... my side is linz, and my cousins emily and megan. His side is his brother tyler, our friend neal and my bro in law dan. We would like to of course have my brother and trishia but they are leaving for africa in june for a year. They are going to try to set up Skype or something online to be able to watch a live feed of the wedding from africa :) Should be interesting.
So other than school, fam, and wedding planning I havent had much time to thnk about much else. But I have been missign my friends! And I hope you all are well.

LOVE YOU ALL hope to see you soon.

Engaged!

2008-11-03T20:40:00.005-05:00

SO>.. I am engaged!! You should all know that by now. It happened on Sat, Oct 11 and I've told you all the story. So now is time to plan.. date is set for Aug 29. Can I just say that I hate planning things? And there is so much to go into this! I am lucky however to have so many people in my life willing to help out. And my mom is great.. but there are times when she wants to be too great and plan things or has ideas assuming that I will like it.. but not actually asking me. But overall we are okay. I've been thinking about certain ideas but will actually wait to do the big things.. like dress shopping until december when I have some time off and my sister will be in town. Thats when I think it will really hit me... and everyone else. My sis-in-law took some "engagement" type pics on saturday which I may use for invitations (Im thinking about making myself) and/or table displays. Here are a couple... when I upload them all I will send you all a link to see the rest...

books and life

2008-10-08T21:43:00.004-04:00

i miss my girls.

So a couple of weeks ago I was walking through a book store wasting time and found this book:

I was intrigued and started flipping through it. The subtitle is "what you need to know about the inner lives of men". I was really just interested to see if there was actually anything in it that i didnt know about (I tend to pretend/think i know everything). Shockingly there were things I never knew! Even more interested now, I grabbed this other book:

Thinking "this should be good... what kind of crap are they telling the guys that we are like". So i started looking through it and ended up relaly liking both books and thinking that my man really needs to read it.

So I went home and found them on amazon.com ($10 each... $5 less than at the store) and bought them both. I told T about the books and he seemed to like the idea.. so what we did was read the opposite books (like i read the one about females and he read the one about males) and wrote sidenotes to things that really pertained to us and whatnot.. when we finished we switched and read the other. I got a lot out of reading the book about men and actually it made me think alot about why i do, say, think certain things after I read the one about women. So basically I would recommend you reading them if you are single, dating, or married. It opened my eyes like how to approach my man in certain situatoins and how to respect him, etc.

So girlies I hope we can have a girls night soon to catch up.. if not then someone else needs to plan something another time. I miss our time together. and I'd like to tell you more about how amazing my man is... and hear all about life for you the last couple of months!

I love you all and miss you.

who's a hippie?

2008-08-19T18:10:00.008-04:00

So most of you have seen me since my recent hair chopping experience but just thought I would post the before and after pics::

Before:

AFTER:

I also wanted to add some pics of my adorable cousinS:

Reese(2) and Reagan(3)

And this one is Jade. She was only a couple days old when this pic was taken (she was only like 5 lbs!). so precious:

surprise trip

2008-08-11T20:34:00.003-04:00

So.... most of you know I got my hair chopped... FINALLY. I've been talking aboutit forever and finally it happened. And I like it. A lot.
In other news I am leaving for FL again tomorrow! It was a very last minute decision but I am going to visit lindsay... I'lll be back saturday morning but at least I get some time with her. She is there by herself until daniel joins her in oct or nov bc he is staying here to work with my dad. So I am excited but I've also had a lot to do to prepare for school which starts in 2 wks and to get some other stuff done before I go. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is going by myself... I'd rahter have company during the 1.5 hr layover in atlanta... which isnt so bad tho. Could be much longer and worse.
Aight yo I gotsta go. I will talk to you all soon. LOVE YOUS.

my heart

2008-07-15T17:58:00.004-04:00

Hello old friends. I'm sorry I do not say it enough but I love you. And despite what you may think I do miss you. I never wanted to be that person to get a boyfriend and disappear. But I realize to some of you thats probably how you think of me. Well for one thing, do understand that around the same time Travis came into my life I started a new job and a new school (and I also became more involved at the vineyard). And those alone have taken up much of my life this past year. Of course Travis is a large part of why I have been away because I can see him usually the same time i can see anyone else.. on the wkends and no offense to any of you but I just want to squeeze in as much time with him as possible. Bc to be honest with you.. I love him. And everyday we are together we are learning more about one another and I love him more as time goes on. I dont know if I hid it well or not but for a long time I longed for someone. Someone to love and trust to give my heart away to. I feel like GOd kept me from serious relationships to prevent me from getting into trouble and also getting my heart broken. Last year he finally said (well how I took it) "ok... here is your man.. now you can have him... you are ready". Well, maybe I wasn't ready just then bc we only lasted a couple months and kinda broke it off bc we both had a lot going on in our lives at the time. But that whole time apart I longed for him and my heart was crushed. I couldnt imagine my life without him. I think I realized that around Thanksgiving bc even with family around, I felt so alone. And we werent even dating then but we were talking on the phone everyday, or a couple times a day. A month or so later we decided to give it a go again and it hasnt been perfect but I am 100% certain that he is my gift from God and that I am not to ruin this great thing we have. We have such great communication with eachother and are learning a lot of patience and understanding, along with much contentment for where we are in our lives. (prayer for continued patience, understanding and contentment would be great from any of you!) We have grown so much together within even the last couple weeks and I am so excited that he is mine! (well, Gods.. but I claim him too). I apologize for doing a poor job of bringing him around and letting you all get to know him. If you havent been around him enough to decide yet... just trust me on this one. You all know how cautious I have been of dating (some may even say i was against it). He is amazing and is everything I am not: outgoing, responsible, determined, a leader, excited about life. But he is contagious so I hoping to catch some of those qualities :) . He is also so good looking (he has these cute little dimples when he smiles), loves people, gets along so well with the fam, is so genuine, honest, caring. I'm sorry.. I could go on for hours. I hope none of you have puked from my girly-mushiness. You'll get over it :)
I can't promise things are going to be much different within this next year as far as my absence within the group. I would hope I can see you all more, especially now that i have a couple wks of summer b4 school starts back (aug 19). But when fall hits I will be back into the books and probably crying alot bc its going to be difficult and I have a constant fear in the back of my head that I will fail this program and I have no plan B.

..I love you, I miss you, and I plan to see you soon. And chrissialice... I have not forgotten the reds tickets but I have been forgetting to pay you. Please email me your address again so I can send you some moneys.

Heres a couple favs from FL:

I hope you learn to love him. He is so my blessing sent from God.

summer vacation

2008-07-11T23:22:00.000-04:00

Check out pics from Sarasota: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sabeth

so much fun!!

summertime

2008-07-03T15:38:00.003-04:00

I am leaving for Sarasota, FL tomorrow!! I'll be returning next fri (7/11) and I'll update everything after that :) I love you!

Oh and Chrissi... here are mothers day pics for you.... thanks for the reminder :)

Travis and a cow (lots of farmland in Northern ohio)

The mom and stepdad:

Me and his mom:

Just us:

Love you all. Will update soon.

mom's day

2008-05-13T13:34:00.002-04:00

So Sunday--mother's day--Travis and I left at 7am and drove 3 hrs to see his mom for mother's day. So that is why I was not there for Katie's bday on sunday. It was my first time meeting his mom.. and really anyone in his family. We went to eat after church and his mom invited like his whole family! So I got to meet his grandma, some aunts and husbands, cousins, stepdad and 2 stepbrothers. It was a good time. After lunch he drove me around to where he used to go to school and play soccer (he's so sentimental and proud of where he came from). Then we went back to his mom's house and talked to her and his stepdad for awhile where they asked me about everything in my life... but I didnt mind. They were so nice and easy to talk to. I had a really good time being there with him. And he was thrilled to finally be able to drive with someone up there.. instead of driving it alone. It really didnt feel like 3 hrs both ways either... i gues we are just good company for eachother :) I wanted to post some picks of us and his mom... when I find my camera cord for my computer I will post some.

Love yous.
How was your mothers day?

i see heart stars

2008-04-30T23:36:00.002-04:00

You know how some people say "I'm seeing stars" like when they fall down or whatever? Well.... I see hearts. Or "heart-stars". I feel like I am floating in the clouds with the hearts floating above my head except that I am not in the clouds or daydreaming... or sleeping. I am in real life just being a girl and experiencing an amazing, healthy, such a blessing of a relationship and I have been expressing more honest girly emotions than I have to anyone aside from myself in a VERY long time... if ever. This may seem vague... but you pretty much get what I'm saying. I have me a great guy. And if you dont know him you should.
He's funny. And I like him.

a lot :)

so long jimmy fallon.... theres a new guy in town.. except his name isnt "new guy" its "since 10 months ago" guy. And he's pretty much amazing. so step off. or stomp off...like have a stomp the yard competition.. that would be joyous to watch.

One year down

2008-04-23T14:41:00.002-04:00

Just in case anyone read that last blog... I have taken finals and passed my class! The first test didnt go so well but I killed the second one (translation: 96%). Which was pretty much amazing and shocking. So... thanks for the prayers if you sent some my way.

I can see summer just in the distance

2008-04-17T10:11:00.002-04:00

So... I have 2 final exams on Tuesday (april 22). I would really appreciate some hardcore prayer for these exams bc passing them kinda determines what my life looks like for the next year. The exams are for my med-surg nursing class that I am not doing well in and if I dont pass I will have to retake this class this time next year which will set me back a year. I know i am fully capable of passing these tests with good grades if I would jsut get my head in the books and retain the information! So... pray I would be rid of negative thoughts and that I will pass these exams next tuesday!!! THanks :)
Love you.

side job

2008-04-07T16:56:00.002-04:00

A friend of my mom's started a veil shop online several years ago. Up until a couple of months ago she has photographed her veils, headpieces and jewelry on manakins. She is now wanting to change all her pictures to have real people in them so a couple of weeks ago I modeled for her. Very strange to wear a wedding dress and veil and pose for pictures. If you want to see me in action (well.. not in action.. just sedentary..) here are some links to her site:

http://www.veilshop.com/1-Layer_c_20-1.html;
http://www.veilshop.com/2-Layer_c_13891-1.html;
http://www.veilshop.com/1-Layer_c_17146-1.html

HELLO!!!

2008-03-31T11:00:00.002-04:00

Hey all!!!
Wow its been awhile for this. I have not been on it... and these are the times I should be bc I dont see anyone ever.
School.... been rough this semester. TO the point of emotional breakdowns almost every week bc for awhile I thought I would fail out and I would sit and think about plan B for my life but couldnt come up with anything I could see myself doing for the rest of my life for decent money. But the past couple weeks though I've been okay and accepted the fact that God brought me into this program and he will bring me through it.. i just have to trust... and study... alot more than I have been.
Its been good, though. I dont hate the program like i did at the beginning of this semester. I hated it bc at the hospital we have clinical working with adults and elderly and I do not want to work with adults. But it has been really good to learn so much this semester and I like interacting with the patients (most of the time). By now we pretty much have all the nurse's duties with clinical... we give meds (including IVs), give injections, tube feeds, catheters.... etc. It still freaks me out to do much of that but I'm becoming more comfortable as the weeks go on.
I have like 3 more weeks or so of class left then 7 weeks of summer classes... then summer break!! I am totally counting down.... cannot wait to enjoy the sun!!
SPeaking of the sun.... many of you prob dont know that my sis and dan are moving to tampa, FL in the fall bc Linz got accepted into a Grad program there. I am excited for them to make the move and bc I get the basement when they are out :) but I will miss them so much. not like I really get to spend much time with lindsay right now but still.. more than I will when she moves. And it will be so quiet around here! I am tempted to invite ppl to live here bc it will be so boring... just me and the rents. I dont know what my dad will do without daniel... his best friend :) But we'll make it. My parents want to eventually move down there with them in years to come but for me.... dont really see myself down there permanently...we'll see. I'm only 21 and have much more life to live here I think.
THe boy..... Travis and I are doing really well. I admit that I have not found that balance between school, work, family, friends, and boyfriend... if there even is a balance. Its been really difficult. Believe me, last summer I did not look at this school year thinking.... hmm... i think itll be a good idea to start a new school and a relationship at the same time and see how it goes! But at the same time... I wouldnt change it... he has really been a great encouragement throughout all my doubts and breakdowns. ANd we have a lot of fun together. And hey... its been 8 months and I havent run from him :) (my girls.. you know thats big for me.. and I have an explanation/theory as to why). I'm just sorry that I havent shared him with you all... or see much of anyone in the past couple months. I miss you.

I love you all.. and look forward to seeing you and reading updates on your lives!!

nola

2007-12-08T22:09:00.000-05:00

Hello All!! I love you. Just to let you all know I am leaving for new orleans tomorrow (sunday) will be home next sat... so please pray for me and the group and the city!! We are rebuilding this time so it will be different but I'm sure so amazing!!
Love you.. hope to see you all soon after.

SA

Quick update....

2007-11-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

School is still crazy busy. Only a couple weeks left until finals though!! I can't believe it.. its gone so fast. After finals I will be 1/4 of the way through nursing school! That scares the crap out of me.
I love my job. I dont love having to go into work (who does) but when I'm there, although it too is crazy, I really enjoy it. THe first few days of orientation were aweful because I just watched the clock all day and it took forever for it to end. But now that I'm out of orientation and able to do my own thing I'm usually running all over the place and it goes fairly quick without having much down time. The other day I had to work 3-11:30 and I didnt sit down to eat until 11! Thats not normal though. Most of my kids range btwn a couple days old- 8 years old. I like the babies... they are cute and can't fight back as agressively. For my part though I just take vitals (listen to their heart, breathing, take temp, blood pressure) and sometimes get weights/heights, feed, change, and get the family whatever they need. If the parents are in with them I usually dont have to feed or change them... just document what has gone in and out. It can get overwhelming sometimes, especially if i have like 6 kids to do vitals on every couple of hours, then admissions come and I have to help with that, kids leave and I clean the rooms, go get things for the families, help my nurse, remember to document everything, etc.....
But I love it. PRAISE THE LORD. I finally have a job that i love. Who knew it could happen.
In other news... I still miss my friends. I'm way behind on my lunch dates with people and I'm sorry but it doesnt look like i can catch up anytime soon. Reason being my grandparents from Colorado are in town and will be for the next month which is so great... i havent seen them in about 3 or 4 years. Its tricky planning things so that I'm not gone all the time.. or more than I already am with work and school. The good thing is that I dont work that much this month.. its good I wont be gone but bad I wont have the money.
So anyway... I hope you all are well.
LOVE YOUS

Quote of the day (Tuesday): "I'd rather be peed in the face by a baby (which has been done) than crapped on through a colostomy bag"

blast.

2007-10-22T11:50:00.000-04:00

I'm becoming one of those people who are affected by stupid sappy love songs….

I'm going to be a professional medical documentor!

2007-09-28T17:27:00.000-04:00

hello family.
Let me just take a breath...

WOW life has been busy. School is in full gear and we will be in our 7th week which is crazy!! In 2 weeks (the 8th week) I will be 1/8th of the way through nursing school! It has gone so fast but I dont feel like I've learned a whole lot yet. I've been in such a mode that I havent realized how busy i am. But last friday it all kinda hit me at once. I planned on friday being my "catch up" on all my work day. But I have learned that there really isnt such a thing. I can catch up on maybe a subject one day but cant just sit down and expect to catch up (definitly not get ahead) in all my classes in one day. There is just too much to do and I kinda freaked out on friday. It didnt help that I was stressing a little about having to get up early for work orientation the next day and I was also PMSing along with a few other issues. At least I can say I made it through 6 weeks without a breakdown :) I tried to prepare myself for the pressure and amt of work but I think by doing that I also denied it in my head that it would be this crazy. But I can handle it.. its not SO bad but I hate not being able to see my friends!! I barely see my own family and we live in the same house. I know that everyone is gonna get really sick of me saying I cant do things bc I have to study or work on stuff.. but just get ready to hear it bc its gonna happen. My dads already sick of it. SO AM I but its my life for the next 2 years and I'm trying to get used to that fact.
So yes I started work orientation for children's hospital last sat and i also have it tomorrow. I'm supposed to start working on Oct 20 or 21 i think. I have it written down somewhere... I'm excited but really nervous too. I'm finally gonna have a real job! I can hear the applause now... thanks everyone :) No really.. stop. As much as I'd like to say I'm 100% finished with the ortho job... yeah it kinda depends if they need me... mostly saturdays bc I've given up on going tuesdays(sorry kyoung...havent really told you yet) And I have to babysit tuesday nights anyway.
So thats been my life. Big change for me. I'm hoping we can all hangout sometime soon... i say that having no idea when that can happen right now but I would really love some girl time!! (guys... you can come another time :) sorry)

Love you all. miss you.

life changes

2007-09-05T00:45:00.001-04:00

I left off in the last post talking about getting ready for school orientation and all that jazz. Well.. that has come and gone… was very long and monotonous but its over. Now I’m in regular school mode and I’m pretty much organized just have to get my brain in a spot where I’m not constantly worrying about something I maybe didn’t read or prepare for class. There is ALWAYS something I should be doing… but if I don’t give my brain a break I will go freaking insane. I know most of you know what I’m talking about. I guess its just been different for me bc I’ve slacked off so much in the summer… so I don’t remember what the school groove quite looks like anymore. But I’m getting back into it. Not overwhelmed thus far. School has been good though. I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be. The last 2 saturdays of this month I start orientation for work and probably be starting work the beginning of October. Which I am excited and a little nervous about. But I’m so glad I’ve had a few weeks of school before starting that job.

I hope you all had a great weekend. I did!! Friday I got to go to the Bengals/Colts game.. .my first NFL game and it was so much fun. And they WON! Which was great and unexpected. Saturday was a planned study day but that didn’t happen… turned into a nice chill day though. Sunday a friend was baptized at church which was cool… I love vineyard baptism Sundays. After church went to my parents church for a picnic lunch they were all having. Then went with travis to a wedding. (some of you have met him, others just heard about.. will meet eventually : ) The wedding was in indianapolis at the zoo in the gardens… gorgeous day and beautiful wedding. The reception was at the colts stadium! Well actually it was in a building next to the practice field. SO cool! I’m still mad at myself for not getting any pics inside the reception hall. Then Monday I went to the waterpark with travis and got to eat BLUE ICE CREAM.. my first love…mmmm. And came back home later to eat with the fam. It really was a great weekend.

I miss you. I hate when life gets so busy nobody sees each other anymore. There is so much going on in everyone’s lives right now. Please know that I am praying for you. Specifically yous that have had specific doctor visits lately. And I know this is kinda a lame shout out on the blog thing but oh well.. youll get over it. I love you so much and hope you know that no matter how far away we all feel from eachother we really are just a phone call… or short car ride away.

I MISS YOU like tiger misses his claws.
I hope to see you very soon.

excited for the future

2007-08-12T01:52:00.000-04:00

Hola Amigos!!

I am a slacker... but so are you.. except for cindy.. she is always on the ball. :)

Well.. update from last post we didnt make it to new orleans yet again. A lot of things happened... along with some weird feeelings on my end that we shouldnt be going anyway.. so in the end I know that we really werent supposed to go that week. And although I was bummed about it.. i had a strange peace about being here last week (a certain someone helped that also). I guess aside from the fact that ash and kyoung didnt get to go.. the worst part about it for me was that I felt part of my summer had been wasted on planning this trip. Toward the beginning of the summer God blatantly told me "Don't go through life with your eyes closed." I didnt understand it at first... then i realized it to be that when I focus so hard on something in the future I lose focus of what I should be thinking about today. Its frustrating because I knew I was doing that even when I was. Ever since I got back from N.O in april I have been wanting and planning to go back... so much of my summer was spent thinking about how that will happen. My "eyes were closed" to exciting things that were happening around me. And its like he told me to slow down and I didnt... then we didnt go so its like that part of my summer was kinda wasted.
Anyway... what is life without sucky lessons, right? Learn from things and move on.

In other news... This wednesday I have a riverboat cruise thing with new students from school.. and I have orientation on Thurs and Fri. I'm not actually dreading it like I thought. I'm attempting to get used to the idea of having no life :) School then starts next mon (the 20th).
So here is my schedule bc I know you all are DYING to know...but I know will prob ask me again..
Mon: 10-8 (break from 12-3.. wanna have lunch anyone??)
Tues: 7-1:30
Wed: 12-1:20 (Thank God for short days)
Thurs: 1-4:20
Fri: 12-4
Then I have a one weekend a month class (fri/sat) for 3 months.

It is a much heavier load than i have taken previously..with much harder classes. But I can do it!! Right?!! right... i need to continue to talk myself into this :)

AND>> I got my official phone call yesterday taht I am being offered a job at childrens hospital!! Bc of not being able to attend orientation due to school schedules..i wont be starting until the end of sept.. which is actually good because I was nervous about starting school and a new job at the same time.. so at least I will be semi-used to my school schedule by then. I am being offered a "stand-by" position.. which means I just have to get in 36 hrs every 6 weeks. I can pick up more shifts if I want too. Its good bc it will be very flexible with my school schedule.. i can sort of pick my own hours. The downside is that they will prob be calling me in a lot and I will prob have to say no most of the time.. which won't look very good. But oh well.. I'll deal with that when I have to.

I love you all dearly.
xoxo
SA

little angels

2007-08-11T22:52:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was my cousin reese's first birthday. Here are some pics of her and my other cousins. They are so adorable:

Birthday girl:

REESIE...
Gorgeous eyes!!

Laurel and Reagan:

HANNAH::

My uncle Mark and Reagan
My uncle Mickey and Payton (no he is not lighting a cigar).
Shirley temple...I mean HANNAH

Little EMMA::

Fun with balloons::

Reagan losing her skirt...

Crazy cousins... Tyler, Kelsey, Megan

I hope you enjoyed my family! THey are so precious!!

happiness in song form

2007-07-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

I had my second job interview today for the PCA position at children's hospital. I think it went well. She showed me around the unit afterward so I assume that is a good sign :) I'm still nervous about starting a job and a new school (16 credit hrs first semester!). But God will work it out. I mean he has... he will reveal all that to me later apparently... if he feels it necessary.
We are leaving for New orleans on saturday (FINALLY!!) me, ash, kyoung, and neal. THere were supposed to be more but some backed out. HOnestly, it is disappointing. Its frustrating when you have a passion for something that others don't share. I mean it is understandable though. I didnt care about new orleans until I went. And my friends have passions about things that I dont care much about.. its just how things work. But still frustrating. Its just an amazing experience and I'm sad so many are missing out. But I'm actively learning that God is so in control of everything. So there is no need to worry. "He's got the whole world in His hands." And those people really arent necessarily "missing out". Maybe there is something else they are supposed to be learning next week where they are. I'm still praying for at least one more person to go though. We leave saturday morning, so slim chance, but I'm not God... and I dont know the future.
I've noticed just recently that I have gotten some joy back. A lot actually. I used to just sulk all the time (mostly unnoticed by others, I think). I don't have a whole lot to complain about... I am so blessed.
I have really been pushing myself to do simple things lately that I normally wouldnt do... or do things that arent "me". Or outside the comfort zone. Its not as tough as I thought... and it feels really good once I get passed it.

Comic relief of the day:: I had to get a drug test today for school. I was standing next to the lady who had to pour the "specimen" into another container and I was like "I bet you LOVE your job right now" and she kinda laughed then came back with "Well... its not as bad as what you will have to do..." (meaning in nursing school). It was funny but kind of caught me off guard :)

Quotes of the summer::
"Don't go through life with your eyes closed"
"I will help you speak and I will tell you what to say"

Fav song of the week: "1234" by Feist.
www.myspace.com/feist
It makes me happy.

If I haven't seen you in awhile I MISS YOU. If I have... hope to see you again soon! For most of you that means after new orleans. We will return home saturday, aug 4.

I guess thats it. Peace out.

live and learn

2007-07-08T23:11:00.000-04:00

Lesson of the day:

Don't put fruit in the freezer.

:)

everything happens for a reason..

2007-06-29T18:16:00.001-04:00

So many of you don't know that I'm home yet... or that I was not in New Orleans this week. Our group leader got really sick the night before our departure and the trip was cancelled. But instead of staying around here to pout about it I went with a few friends to sandusky, ohio... to go to Cedar point! It was a lot of fun and did take my mind off of what i was missing this week. I know that everything happens for a reason and I wasn't supposed to be in N.O. this week (but i missed it so badly!!) But now that this trip was cancelled it has only made me more excited and anxious to go in August. Right now the dates are July 28-Aug 4ish... days may change. I'm excited and nervous to be the leader of this group but I know it will be good for me to take that role. There may actually end up being more people than I originally intended which is great. We are looking at about 5-7 of us right now. Please continue to pray for this as it rapidly approaches.
My friend Dyah, who went on the trip in April, wrote about the trip in the 1835 (college/career group) newsletter to encourage people to come. I loved what she said about it and the facts she included so I want you all to read it as well. And again, please let me know of anyone interested. It is so worth it.

Being His Hands and Feet

My dear friends,

Jesus is inviting you to become His hands and feet to supply his people down in the neighborhoods of New Orleans with compassion. That's all you need to bring, in addition to the ability to smile with an open heart. I went with the last crew in April, and before we left the church, Neal prayed to open our hearts so that Jesus would tell us what He wanted us to be when we were there. Neal said not to come with expectation, because God might have other plans.

So, you might be a wheelbarrow, a greeter, a sausage opener, a hugger, a listener, a shoveler, a nail-plucker, a weed trimmer, a jambalaya stirrer, a coleslaw maker, a server. You might be only a dust among other people who had gone there with similar concern as you are. You might be a baseball player in a field not touched for 20 months.

You might be the precise, special person Jesus needs to bring love and compassion to the exact, special person who’s been hurting, to the much needed area that would take more time and energy and love to bring it back to life.

I wish numbers could turn into faces, for us to know this is life, not just some lame statistics, but here are the facts of what happened in New Orleans, 22 months after hurricane Katrina:

• Less than 1/2 of the city's pre-storm population of 460,000 has returned, putting the population at roughly what it was in 1880.
• Nearly 1/3 of the trash has yet to be picked up.
• 60% of homes still lack electricity.
• 17% of the buses are operational.
• 1/2 of the physicians have left, and there is a shortage of 1,000 nurses.
• 6 out of the 9 hospitals remain closed.
• 66% of public schools have reopened.
• A 40% hike in rental rates, disproportionately affecting black and low-income families.
• A 300% increase in the suicide rate.

Source: ThinkProgress.org

I don't know whether I should laugh for my renewed spirit and compassion for the people of New Orleans or I should weep with them.
Please pray and ask God if He wants you to go and what He wants you to be. If He does want you to go, He'll give you a way.

Remember the saying that the love we receive only increases when we give away love? It's so true.

summertime livin' ain't easy

2007-06-20T10:17:00.000-04:00

HEY

So I went to Florida a couple weeks ago. Had a lot of fun and got a tan! And played tennis..and went to universal and islands of adventure parks..and went to cocoa beach.. and went to seaworld to see SHAMU.
And it rained.

So I've had 2 weeks back and now getting ready to go back to NewOrleans on saturday. We leaving at 8 am. Its kinda strange for me to be so passionate about something this long. Usually it wears off but I'm still in love with N.O. just as much as when I was there the first time. I just pray (and hope you guys will too) that everyone gets along well and works well together, and doesnt get hurt! And I also pray that everyone who goes down seeking to serve people will be blessed, and also those being served will also be blessd and feel so LOVED! I'm so frustrated right now that the devastations down there are not on the news anymore. Not many know how bad it still is. I think a lot more people would be down to help if they did know.
By the way... as of now I am still wanting to take another trip either the 1st or 2nd week of August (there are 3 others going so far). So PLEASE if you are (or know of anyone that is) at all interested let me know. It has really changed my life. No cost for food or housing once we get down there... we only have to pay our way there and back (which would be price of gas).

In other news... school is coming along. Last week I registered for classes and got fitted for my awesome uniform (awesome as in not awesome). It will be a little crazy adjusting to my schedule at first, but like anything else, I guess you get used to it.
I've started training K.young to take my place when i leave my job (which will be when i start school). My mom has tried talking me into staying a number of times but this is the plan and we are sticking to it. I'm still thinking about trying to get a hospital job during school, maybe just weekends or something, but we'll see.

The summer is going by so fast already!! I start school Aug 15 so that doesnt leave me a whole lot of time. But I have been off since april, so I guess its fair :)

Love you all. If you read this and I havent heard from you in awhile...please let me know you are still alive!!

oh yeah..one more thing...
COME TO NEW ORLEANS WITH ME. It will change your life.
:)

ups and downs

2007-05-31T13:10:00.000-04:00

First of all.... some stuff going on.. please pray for my family.
Also pray for Scotty Huston's mom Sharon who has breast cancer and has been in the hospital for the last week but is coming home TODAY!!

I hope you all are doing well. I feel so out of touch with many of you. I'm sorry. I know a lot of it is my fault but also the phone rings both ways. But we need a girls night/or day out or dinner or something soon. And if you havent seen baby Olivia yet GO SEE HER!! She's gonna be big before we know it. I'm hoping she doesn't reach 6 feet tall by the time I get back from FL next week! She's gonna be freaking tall though, when she gets older. SHe has giant, but beautiful & precious, hands and feet. And kate said she's already in her 3 month clothes!! Shes only 4 weeks!! In conclusion... go see her. She's a little bundle of love (disguised by the occasional fussiness and baby gas).
*So sorry katie that I'm inviting everyone over to you house :)
Love you Livi!! (If you're reading :)

So I leave for FL tomorrow (friday) will be back next fri. Recent events have caused a slight "damper" in my excitement at the moment but I am still pretty excited to get out of here and go to universal and see all that.. and go swimming and spend lots of money... wait.. i hate spending money. So I'm not excited about that part. But hopefully it will be a good time. Sorry if I'm rubbing it in :)

By the way... still planning to go back to New Orleans... the last week in june with the vineyard group and maybe also the 1st or 2nd week in Aug with.. so far its just me, ash mason, kyoung, and scotty. If anyone else is interested please let me know. Or if you know of anyone that is. I really thnk it is a life-changing experience. It was for me anyway (obviously).

I love you all. Be good. I pray that God gives us all guilty consciences about things in our lives that shouldnt be there. The feeling sucks, but its all worth it because HE only wants the best for us, right?

Love you.

plans

2007-05-10T00:08:00.000-04:00

Lets get right to it:

So this fire inside me for New Orleans has not yet gone out... which for me must mean something because many of you know how I often do not follow through with ideas. I am impulsive at times, and unrealistic. But this one is not unrealistic.
The dates are not yet scheduled for my return there (and anyone else that wants to go!) and I am anxious to get those nailed down!! I was initially thinking of the 2nd week of June. And although that is being debated now (in my head) it is not out of the question thus far. But I think sometime in July may be better. There are rumors circulating that a group from VCC will go back the last week in June which I am totally in for also. But that wont stop me from going an additional week (or weeks..if I can be that blessed!)

So if anyone is remotely interested in going please let me konw! i would love for you to experience the preciousness that is new orleans. please help me pray for this triP!!: specifically the dates that I am supposed to go and who will be joining me. Also pray for this city. I know that things will get better down there...slowly.. but they will...there is hope.

If you want to check out Mercy Response..who organizes these things, go here...
www.MercyResponse.com

ALSO>>>>
BABY O (anna olivia) was born may 5th. (for any of you who arent her parents or have not been around me in the last few days or so:)
Im excited to see her grow and learn...and experience blue icecream from kings island with the special rainbow sprinkiles on top :)
oh there is so much to teach her. If only I knew how to teach babies sign language and we could get this communication thing going already.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!
I know that the date on this will probably be may 10th... so it will be a day off... but really its like midnight of the 9th right now. Lets not get technical.

i love you. don't forget to UPDATE often. i love reading about you.

the end.

bentley green

2007-05-04T00:51:00.000-04:00

So if you all watch Ellen Degeneres on a regular basis you may have already seen this... but this kid is 6 years old.. and raps... the cutest freakin kid ive ever seen in my life! no joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck7KVwyQ1Bk

STORY TIME!

2007-04-26T23:02:00.000-04:00

So today has been fun....

This morning I had to babysit at like 8 then went to this medical center in lebanon to get a hepatitus shot (that I need for nursing school). Shots have never been a big deal to me... I don't really get nervous or whine that they really hurt.. its just no big thing.

[Switch scenes...]

Earlier that morning, while I was babysitting, my mom called to tell me my dad and daniel were taking my sister to the emergency room. She's had this bump that has turned into what a doctor said was a boil (which appearantly isnt true) but the meds the doc gave havent been working and basically shes been in a lot of pain, and its just been getting worse.

So she's in the emergency room.. and I'm going to get a hep shot...

[Back to me...]

I go in to fill out all the paperwork and finally get to the room. Before the shot, the nurse goes through the whole talk about "go to the doctor if you break out into hives, start vomiting, feel feverish or achey all over your body after getting this shot. It may be an allergic reaction. It rarely ever happens, but we still have to warn people."
I'm perfectly fine. Like I said, I dont really get nervous about this stuff. She gives the shot and yes it kind of stung going in, but whatever. She said my muscle would be sore for a day or so, and thats that.
So I stand up and my mom's talking to her about other shots I have to get for school and whatnot. I'm standing there...starting to feel a bit nauseated and thought about asking for some water or something or maybe even sit down but we were about to leave anyway so I'd be sitting in the car soon...

Next thing I know I'm in peaceful dream land. I'm for real dreaming and don't really remember what about but I think it was pleasant enough. Then I hear some people talking in the “real world” and wake up thinking "where am I... oh still at the dr... why am I still here?... I thought we left?... why am I sitting on the floor and why are all these ladies crouched around me freaking out?"
Its never good to wake up like that. So yes, I fainted. They got me to get up and sit down in a chair and i started to feel nauseated again.. they gave me some juice and about 30 seconds later it came right back up (sorry for that detail). Then I had to go in this room and lay on a table while a doctor checked me out.

I am fine... I think so anyway. They said i hit my head on the scale (which I woke up sitting on). So I have a bad bruised area right on my temple... it hurts to chew or yawn. And I have bruises on my elbows and left shoulder blade. But besides that I'm fine.
I've never passed out before... it was so strange...the nap was nice though :)
The funny thing is that my mom has wanted me to schedule this appt so that she could go with me and all I kept saying is "I don't need you to come with me" like a typical teenage daughter (which I'm technically not a teenager anymore but I tend to act like it). But now that this happened I'm so glad she was there...

And they think that maybe I passed out because I didn't eat very much breakfast.. or maybe it had something to do with nerves or something (which I thought wasn't an issue for me... God is taking down my pride apparently). And if its not that.. then I dont know... I guess we will see next time I go to get this shot again in 4 weeks. I dont think it was an allergic reaction though. But honestly nobody really knows for sure.

[back to the sister...]

So my mom's thinking its kinda crazy that I'm laying on this bed, having just passed out, and her other daughter is in the emergency room... UPDATE:: getting ready to have surgery. They decided that whatever this was on her needed to be drained and Lindsay was having like an anxiety attack so they had to sedate her to even touch it cuz it hurt so bad.... and she was apparently screaming the whole time... even when she was sedated and doesnt really remember it.
They drained it and probably got like a quart of water or so out of it…

[IN conclusion..]

Lindsay is home now and feeling a little better.. but may have to be off work and school for a week or so.
And as for me… I’m ok.. head hurts.. and hey.. now I have a slight fear of getting shots (surprise!). I have to get another hep shot in 4 weeks, and again 5 months after that. They said next time to remind them about this incident and they will lay me on a table before they give me the shot… in case I decide to, ya know, fall over again.

And that’s that.

I hope you all were safe today!

Love you.

more n.o. fun

2007-04-21T22:30:00.000-04:00

Hey my friend Julee, who also went to New Orleans last week, created a blog to talk about the trip and show some pics... she describes more of the camp and what we actually did daily I think a lot better and more than I have... so check her out. She is supercool...
http://foreverchangedandotherstuff.blogspot.com/

its a beautiful day

2007-04-16T14:31:00.000-04:00

hey all.

So yes, I'm back. Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts this week. They were appreciated.

We got home saturday around 6:30 but I haven't really wanted to talk to anybody yet. Been thinking about a lot and just needing a bit more of a break.

Its been a weird day. I went to bed around 9:30 last night from being so tired and woke at 6:30...45 min before my alarm went off. i love sleep. And barely ever get up before I have too. But I was having a freaky dream and woke up trying to get my mind off of it and ended up thinking about the next few months and how to get back to New Orleans, my new love. I haven't been able to quit thinking about it since we left. Actually, I think it was the 2nd day we were there, I decided that I was definitly going back. Well at the moment I wanted to live there. But we'll just pretend for now like its a short term thing.

This trip was amazing. I met a lot of great people who I now feel like I've known for years. There were 9 of us and I didnt know any of them.... and now I'm so glad that I really didnt know any body going. It was really good for me.

So New Orleans....
parts of it were sad because 20 months after hurricane Katrina, some parts of the devastated city haven't been touched yet.

And not very many people, especially up here, know about that because it doesn't make the news or anything anymore. So everyone just assumes that its back to normal, which is so far from the truth. Its just a mess. And the whole fema money thing is a joke. Nobody can afford to rebuild. Especially when they have to pay people to come gut their house first so that they can either start over from there or have it demolished. And many of the people that will do that cost $1 a sq. foot to gut a house.

The amazing thing is that there are organizations that take in volunteers to gut houses free of charge. So that's what our group did. IT was very hard work, but I loved every minute of it.

The first house we went to had not been touched in 2 years. So all of this lady's things were still there, such as furniture, clothes, all personal belongings. You don't realize how much "stuff" a person, or family, has until you have to drag it all out. There were roaches all over, and in some cases rats (we only saw a dead one), and black mold all the way up the walls.

But through all that the city is continuing to go through, I see so much hope there in people. We worked on an apartment duplex toward the end of the week and the homeowner came to see us working a couple of days and I just fell in love with her because of the joy you could see in her. And she was so incredibly appreciative of us being there. And that made it all so worth it.

So I've been thinking about a lot sense coming home. Getting back hasnt been too great, though. I miss it all so much. I definitly want to go back and I'm even thinking this summer would be great. I'm not sure if I'd go for a week or two, or even like 2 months. BUt I know i want to go. Its just hard planning with school and stuff. I start school at the christ hospital school of nursing in August, but I think i have some deadlines to deal with and getting things done and turned in during the summer... so that sort of makes me nervous about leaving. And also I started classes
back at cincy state where I am just taking anatomy 2 which should transfer. But yesterday I started thinking about not going to school this term. This term lasts the next 9 weeks. That takes us to June 18, I think. Which is kinda a chunk of the summer. Not taking it now would just mean that I would have to take it in AUgust (it is not a pre-req for the christ school). And it would be free then bc school is getting paid for if I agree to work with the hospital 3 years following graduation. Taking it at cincy state is $400. It would be nice to get it out of the way but there just seem to be so many more pros to waiting. And if I decided not to take it now, I could work for the next few months and save up money for if I do decide to go back to New Orleans for the summer. AAhhh.. so much still to think about. And I need to decide this week so I can get money back if I decide to drop my class. I'm still trying to work all this out in my head.

Anybody have any thoughts/insight/advice?

Its really gonna kill me though to be away from baby O if I end up going for the summer.

I was sitting in class today writing notes but my brain was on "auto-pilot". I have no idea what she really talked about today because all i was thinking about was all this.

I'm praying that God will give me some answers, at least about school, this week.

I uploaded the rest of my pics and you can view them here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sabeth/
I took almost 200 but I wish I would have taken more. I didn't even get a group shot! BUt I know someone else did so I'll just steal it when they share.

I love you all.
I think its a new day for me. And it is beautiful.

Happy Easter charlie brown

2007-04-08T19:05:00.000-04:00

(Reese and Reagan)

Hello all.

Happy Easter.

Its been a good day with the family. I love getting together with all the fam. Its fun. Especially with the little ones.

So tomorrow I am off to New Orleans. I'm anxious, nervous.. but mostly excited about what is to come. I'm sure my future self would be rolling eyes and saying "You have NO idea". But we'll see :)

Pray for us.. and the others... and the city. It isn't really on the news much anymore but there is still so much devastation down there.

I love you. See yall when I get home!

Saying of the day: "I WANNA EAT YOUR FACE!"

i love them.

the letter..

2007-03-10T14:21:00.000-05:00

Hey I know I've been going on about the Christ Hospital school for awhile now. I want to thank you all for the prayers but I regret to inform you that... you'll have to listen to me talk about it more because I got the letter today and am accepted in!!! I'm so relieved. So I guess I start in august. I think I have told many of you already by now... and if I didn't that means you either didn't answer your phone or maybe I just didn't call you and I'm sorry. But now you know! So thank you thank you for the prayers. I may not actually be saying that in a few months when I'm overwhelmed with school... hopefully it won't be that bad but I hear its a very difficult program.
I love you all.

"May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

smell the rain, it is delicious

2007-02-25T14:31:00.000-05:00

Today has been one of those terrifically depressing days. And I love it. Maybe that makes me terrifically depressing? On my way home from church, as it began to sprinkle, I decided it is a great day to run outside. So i did. And it was amazing. I put on a jacket, some headphones and headed out. I've just been feeling lately like there's too much stuff in my head. I'm getting sick of myself. And running usually helps me deal with that. Listen to great music, perhaps have a great conversation with the God I have been recently neglecting. Well it was less a conversation and more me apologizing for being so self-centered and just unhappy... when I have SO much to be happy and thankful for. Its just amazing to me how we live in the richest country in the world and still crave to have more... and yet the people who live in countries that have nothing are relatively satisfied with what they have (or don't have) because they haven't experienced anything else.
Well I know why I've been unhappy/disappointed/anxious/dissatisfied... I definitly havent been living to my full potential. I'm not really sure how to do that. And I'm not saying that my life will be perfect if I figure that out, but I think I will be able to experience real joy. I've also forgotten how to really love people.. aside from the ones I'm around all the time and love unconditionally already.
I can't deny I miss my previous church family. For some reason its been worse the past few weeks.. maybe bc i saw many of them last week. Change is hard. But I am moving on.. slowly.
Anyway, I love the Vineyard and their vision right now... the healing center, student center, and their vision to dig wells for clean water in Nigeria. That's just amazing to me. So many people talk about helping out with things like this. But to be able to help out and know exactly where your money is going, and witness this, is a magnificent example of sharing God's love with others. I am in love with this vision, as they are.
The vineyard is also sending groups down to New Orleans to help clean up some of the devastations of Katrina. I am also very excited about this and am planning on going April 9-14. If anyone else is interested let me know!! The cost is only $250, which really isnt bad at all. There are also trips March 3-10, March 19-25 (this one is $350), March 31-April 7.

So today has gotten progressively better. I hope it stays this way.

I love showing off my adorable cousins... here are 2 more .. (different ones than the last blog).

EMMA RAE (9 mo.)...
and.. HANNAH MARIE... (3 yrs)

They are gorgeous children.

k bye :)

foes and parties

2007-02-22T17:47:00.000-05:00

hello friends (and maybe foes).
So I find out in a few weeks if I got into the Christ hospital nursing school...so please pray that I make it in!!! I've been back and forth about wanting to get in and have decided that it relaly would be a great opportunity and really want to get in!! I'm really scared that I won't.. so I'm trying not to get my hopes up.
Also... my parents are going out of town this week and I've been thinking about maybe having people over like next friday (march 2nd?).. not that I cant have people over when there here, but this way its easier to plan. I may actually have to babysit friday... so we'll see. What do you all think? Is anyone free next friday?
This is kinda a lame update but I just dont feel like expounding at this time.

countdown to baby "O" Bird: 10-11 weeks!!

introducing.....

2007-01-29T17:48:00.000-05:00

REESE
and...
REAGAN

They are my cousin's little girls. And they are cute. That's all.

I PASSED!!

2007-01-24T16:49:00.000-05:00

So I just got online to check the results of my state test and I passed it with a 90%!! I'm alittle bummed that I even missed that much but still... I passed it!! I dont have to do it again! As soon as the page popped up a dance song came on the radio and I totally couldn't contain myself! I danced like a maniac!.. I'm sure it was probably hI-larious to watch bc I really can't dance but it felt really good. I'm glad no one was home :)

love you!

God is still answering prayers

2007-01-15T18:53:00.000-05:00

I told many of you this morning that my grandma (dad's mom..in colorado) had a stroke last night. Well she is doing much better and I thank you all for the prayers!! They worked! Apparently she wasnt feeling good last night then woke up vomiting early in the morning. My brother and Trishia are visiting them this week which has been good support for my gpa.. they took her to the hospital and trishia was talking to her trying to get her to squeeze her hand but she wouldnt respond...she just stared blankly at nothing. But they were thankful that she was in stable condition. She got better as the day went on and trishia even said shes now laughing and talking like her old self. She's 83, and we know shes not going to live forever,but if you knew her you wouldnt think she was 83. She's very energetic and enthusiastic, and loves to exercise and dance :) Espeically to the old classics like the Beatles, Beegees, the Birds.. She's pretty hilarious. Shes been relatively healthy, but she did have heart surgery a few years ago. So the doctors did an MRI and said she had a minor stroke and a rapid recovery. Thank the LOrd. It was really great that brett and trishia were there, though. Brett said my grandpa was really emotional. Trishia works at a hospital so as soon as it all happened she got in "work mode" and apparently was great trying to talk with my gma.. getting her to respond, and calming my gpa, .. and talking to the doctors.
This morning it was like my life stopped inside my head. All my whining and stress and complaining about stupid petty things went away for a few hours. I'm so stessed and focused on the most trivial things. I make this life seem so much harder htan it is sometimes.
I kinda mentioned this at bible study last night but I feel like ive gotten so much more cynical the past year or so... well i guess its been about 2 years now... I think it kinda started when I went to Israel. But anyway... I hate it. I feel like I've lost the joy that I once had and I don't know how to get it back. I really dont know where to start. Well i know it partly has some to do with me becoming more self-consumed. I dont know if anyone else has noticed it but I have.. I've been more infocused.. instead of outfocused on other people and things. I of course care about the people close to me... I guess I'm thinking about the people I dont know... the friends I could have.. the experiences I'm missing from not opening up to people I dont know yet. I remember being so happy and so full of joy when I was younger. But "ignorance is bliss" sometimes.. and innocence. Like I said last night.. I hope this is a phase. But I fear that its not because I dont think I'll ever forget the events/people that have helped this cynicism get worse the past 2 years. I guess thats an issue of forgiveness? I dont know.

I just thank God for healing my grandma today. I want to go see her so bad but I didnt want to see her like she was today. I lose hope sometimes. And I know that if her health did get worse... or if it does continue to do so.. I konw that doesnt mean that GOd isnt there or he isnt listening. But him healing her for today does give me that encouragement I need to kick me in the butt for feeling at all hopeless.
So thanks again for the prayers. They work.

plans

2007-01-11T17:38:00.000-05:00

Hey friends. How is everyone? I feel like its been busy... but as most of you know I really don't have a whole lot going on. I have school 2 days a week and work 2-3 days a week. I actually am planning on applying to a little bakery down the street. They need someone from 5am-1pm which sounds crazy, especially considering I am mostly not a morning person. But I think I could deal with it a few days a week and I do need the extra money. And I'm still debating/deciding on when I will try for a hospital job. I just see that as being locked in and not able to have a life otherwiese. But I know I'll have to get over it. As far as school goes I'm still not sure whats gonna happen. I just have to take chemistry (which I am taking now... and hopefully will pass with a C so I dont have to retake it), and anatomy 1 (taking next term) then I will be on the waiting list for clinicals at Cincy State. The wait could be anywhere between 6 months-2.5 years. I'm still waiting on Christ Hosptial Nursing school to seeif I get inthere.. I find out in March and am getting anxious. THe next 2 years of my life could be planned when I find out if I've gotten in. Part of me really wants it and the other part... has other things on the mind. So I really have no idea what my life will look like 2 years... even 8 months from now. I just hope that I one day find some kind of career that I enjoy doing... my fear is that I will get into this program and not want to do it halfway through.
As far as life outside of school... not too exciting. I don't hate my job right now. I think for now I'm gonna hold out until I really do get a stable job in a hospital or something..before I quit. But I'd still work at the orthodontist if I took that bakery job too. Its pretty sad that the most exciting part of my week is anticipating and watching Grey's anatomy and the office on thursday night. Nobody should be this excited to watch a tv show. I'm such a loser... but then again so is 80% of the US... everyone loves Grey's! Its like the flu or something... the excitemtn is contagious. OK now I'm talking about it too much.
Well Grey's isnt my only excitment... every day I get a little more syked about Baby Bird!! We only have like 3-3.5 months left to wait!! I love babies :)
I hope you all are well. Love you dearly.

SA

NEW YORK

2006-12-26T01:28:00.000-05:00

hey kids... i uploaded pics from new york. It was so much fun. I espeically loved not having to drive and buy gas and all that jazz.
Here's my flickr site to look at the pics!...
http://flickr.com/photos/79516616@N00/

love yous... merry christmas!!

loves it

2006-12-17T01:17:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite kid, Austin, wearing what I got him for christmas. It was so funny. He is so adorable!

i have great friends

2006-12-11T13:55:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone that was there last night to surprise me!! I know I'm not the greatest at showing surprise and amazement but I was definitly those things!! I thought I was pretty good at figuring out surprises but I lose this round... good job guys. And Kyoung-- I am sooo disappointed in you that you lied to me. I really don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm TOTALLY KIDDING! I love you and you were AMAZING.. you should become a professional liar. Or not. That wouldnt be very good..what am i saying?
So thanks again..totally surprised.. probably one of the best birthday gifts so far. (aside from NYC... sorry:) ) It was GREAT. You all get 50 gold stars!

LOVE YOUS

birthdays are fun

2006-12-10T15:37:00.000-05:00

favorite birthday gift?.... finding out me and lindsay are going to new york dec 19th for 3 days!! funtimes.

a quick look back and cringe

2006-12-08T00:52:00.000-05:00

Wow... its been over a year. I hate knowing that drama will continue to be a part of life forever.

I'm sick of trying to do this on my own.
I'm sick of not having a church to call my home. (didn't mean to make that rhyme:)
I'm sick of knowing its my fault..i can do something to change that.
I'm sick of being too lazy to change that
I'm sick of knowing that deep down many of my friends are still wounded.
I'm sick of not knowing what to do to help them.

I'm sick of hurting people..and not necessarily knowing that I am until its too late.

ok there was my vent for the night.

i love steak and new york city

FLOWER BABY

2006-12-01T19:51:00.000-05:00

I can't get over this picture. It is so cute I want to hurt myself. This is my highschool sophomore teacher's 3 month old baby. She's one of the only people I've kept in contact with from highschool (funny... this just proves even moreso how I didnt have many longlasting friends in HS :)
She emailed me today and told me she had the baby and sent me a website for some pics... She is so freakin cute. Her name is Addison Grace. I wanted to ask her if she watches Grey's anatomy :) But I didnt.

So we definitly have to think about getting a costume like this for baby bird :)

lazy christmas and baby birds

2006-11-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

HEY!
I still love you all.
I feel like such a lazy bum... I've had 6 days off of school for thanksgiving (i only have tues/thurs classes). I had class today till 12 but i dont go back till thurs. And I dont work today or tomorrow. But I know i should just shut up and enjoy it... which i totally AM! mY parents have been gone for the weekend.. they left thursday morning and coming home tonight at midnight. I cant lie its been great having space from them for a few days.. and the house is so much quieter! I know they had a great time though... they went to colorado to see my dad's parents and brother and his fam. He loves being with his family.. no matter how awkward it used to be bc some weird stuff happened between all of us a few years ago.. but most of that is cleared up now.
I dont remember who I've told what to.. but I have applied to Christ Hospital school of nursing and will find out in march. I'd really like to be accepted so then i can finish in 2 years from august instead of 4 or more at cincy state. I am still currently going to cincy state and will continue if I dont get into Christ.
I really want to go somewhere. Every few months I get "cabin fever" and want to go..anywhere... just to get out of here for a bit. I hate feeling like things are getting stagnant in life. But Christmas is coming up soon so I know it wont be a problem to hold that off for a little while longer. Me and Lindsay were talkign about going to new york around jan/feb but I'm not sure if its actually going to happen bc her work schedule and both of our lack of moneys.
SO yes... Christmas is coming up! My dad has been super excited or somethng because he put up all our lights and tree and everything up last week before he left for colorado. He acted like that was his only chance to do it but really there's not much more lawncare to do before he's off for the winter. I was initially not excited about christmas for some reason.. but im starting to get into it. I'm like more than half finished with christmas shopping already... i know its crazy. I still want to go to the outlet malls before christmas! Anyone interested? Well.. that is if i have money by that time. My birhtday is coming up so that should give me more money for christmas (a perk of having bday close to christmas :-/ )

Time is going so fast. The only good thing about that is baby bird will be here soon!! But he/she will grow up so fast. I cant wait to be a part of that though!

k I'm bored of this now. I love yous!!
I finally updated now its all of your turns!!

fergalicious

funny conversation

2006-11-18T01:53:00.000-05:00

CHAD (a friend of mine from school): So why do you like Jimmy Fallon so much?

ME: Well im not as into him as I obviously used to be... but he is adorable and so funnny. I dont really know how it all started... I saw him.. our eyes met.. he said hello and the next thing I knew we were riding off into the sunset on a large white horse.

CHAD: wow, that sounds romantic

ME: yeah it was...

_______________________________________
GOTTA LOVE JIMMY FALLON

Dancing Maniac

2006-11-01T02:03:00.000-05:00

unconscious dreams

2006-10-30T00:13:00.000-05:00

So I had this dream last night that I was walking home and I saw 3 tornadoes touch down.. so I started running. I got home and no one was home. I decided to go in the basement because its the safest place and when I went down there the basement was filled with bikes and my sister was down there too..

So I'm really into dreams and I like to look up meanings. I went to this website: www.hyperdictionary.com
and looked up tornadoes and it said "Seeing a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive? Dreaming that you are in a tornado means that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You will be met with a series of disappointments for the next week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications. Seeing several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship."

I also looked up bicycle: "Dreaming that you are riding a bicycle means your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. Dreaming of a bicycle indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation."

So apparently I'm a little mentally and possibly emotionally overwhelmed.

Dreams...

2006-10-25T19:54:00.000-04:00

So today I don't want to be a nurse. Today I want to travel and take pictures of everything I see. I was looking up mission trips today. I haven't found any that I am particularly passionate about. All of them are about going somewhere to help out with local churches and walk around to talk to people about God. Which is great and all but not what I'm interested in. I want to go somewhere and actually DO something.. like KHO... fix up or build a house.. something to do with physical labor. Some may think I'm crazy but I love it. I loved KHO and I think that serving like that speaks so much louder than any words that could be said. And I want to go out of the country because I adore different cultures and people and their ways of life. Of course I went into nursing wanting to work with kids and help people but I am growing so impatient!! This "2 year" program is turning out to be so much longer and I just dont know if I have the pertinacity (yes, big word, be proud... sorry if I used it wrong) to stay with it for that long!!
I know what some of you will say "Then go travel and take pictures!!" But its not that easy. You need money to travel. You need a job to make a living. Someday I'll live out my dreams... but for now I'll tread on where I am.

fun with new pics

2006-10-15T14:40:00.000-04:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/79516616@N00/

NEW CAMERA!!!

2006-10-13T01:22:00.000-04:00

This lady at best buy yesterday was understandably trying to talk me into getting the $900 SLR camera which would have a lot more features and everything but we all know I can't afford that. But I was pretty much settled on this camera before I even got to the store. Plus it was $300+ less than the SLR. Gotta love sales.

Here's some pics I took today...

LOVES IT.

I'm really not trying to rub it in, I'm just really excited!!

k bye.

rabbits

2006-10-03T22:47:00.000-04:00

At cincy state I'll stay...
I cant say I love it.. but I dont hate it either and I dont feel like I'm supposed to be anywhere else at the moment.

back to CCU?

2006-09-15T20:44:00.000-04:00

Why did I feel like I was so busy in the summer? I did nothing. Actually I am pretty pissed at myself for not working 2 jobs when I had the perfect opportunity to make a lot of money. Now I need it and don't have the time... well, as much time. Getting past the first week of classes was rough.. but now that I;m sort of in a routine its not as bad. I try not to dread it becuase it only makes it worse if I expect it to be bad. So today I decided to be non-social and have a lazy day. It really feels good to have days like that. I watched many grey's anatomy episodes (still have like 14 or so to go before I finish the 2nd season!!) The new season starts thursday..not much time. I am definilty addicted..so addicted.
I got a letter in the mail today from CCU (the school I went to last year..but no longer attending) stating my current balance for this semester which is -3.71... they would owe us 3.71 because of the scholarships i would recieve there. It makes no sense that I didnt even register there this semester and its paid for.. but the school I am going to I get nothing. Is it dumb to think its a sign to go back to CCU since it will be paid for through scholoarships? I know I've talked about school so much you're probably sick of hearing about it but here i go again... some days I feel i could do this nursing thing.. but I dont want to be just the nurse..I want to be higher in the chain and actually do more than get bossed around. Of course Grey's Anatomy is in my head right now, and therefore a large influence in my thinking today. And yes I am living vicariously through those surgeons each episode I watch but I konw I couldnt do that all the time. I dont want my career to be my life, I actually want a family of my own some day.
Sometimes I feel like I should have been born like 50 years ago when women didn't have many rights--as far as careers go. I definilty wouldnt have been a feminist. Call me lazy and dependent alll you want but I'd be satisfied being the stay at home mom while the husband works. That doesnt mean thats whats gonna happen..I'm just saying I wouldnt mind it. There was so much less pressure back then to have a career.. but I guess there was a lot more pressure on getting married young.

OK I'm done... dont exactly know where all that came from.. I guess a day off not doing much but thinking will do that to ya.

So I got an email from the professor that took us to Irael and he said that the Greece trip is on for spring break. And he thinks it will be around $1800-2000. Thats a lot less than i originally thought it would be. ANyone else intereseted in going to Greece?? I'm still not positive I'm going but I really want to go!.. It just depends if I can be off of school during CCU's spring break and if I can get the money in time.

Thats all.

school dayz... woo hoo

2006-09-06T14:41:00.000-04:00

So I'll let napolean dynamite help me out with this one... (click on the link)

http://www.reelwavs.com/movies/sounds/napoleon_dynamite/howwasschool.wav

Gotta love it!
Well maybe he is exaggerating... it wasn't the worst day of my life but it was freaking long. So here's my yesterday schedule:

7:30..Left for school, sat in traffic and got there in time for class
8:30-9:45.. psychology
9:50-10:45.. Went by the financial aid office and found out I'm getting no help this term..and the money is due next week. Loves it. I proceeded to find my next class but ended up in the cafeteria. Grabbed some chips and sat to read until
11:00-1:50..Chemistry. I hated it with a passion. I should be taking anatomy right now but because I didn't take both parts of chem in highschool I have to do them over. Suck. It was aweful. THe professor sort of looked like a muppet..I dont know their names so i cant tell you which one. 3 hours of sitting..hearing this guy talk about something that I probably should've been listening to. We did have two 15 min breaks in there.
2:00..left school and as I pulled out of the parking garage I saw that the price was $5 now instead of $2. Gorgeous. $10 a week... $40 a month... so about $90 for the term? I konw I'm whining... but I had it so good at CCU... school was paid for through financial aid and parking was free.
2:30-4:45..Worked at the good ol' orthodontist office. As much as i complain about this job i guess it really is a blessing because they are so flexible with me. But I guess they dont really have a choice.
5:00..left work and headed for evendale.
5:30-10:00..Nurses Aid class in the evendale campus. Praise the Lord that I dont have to go back to the main campus. And no..I didnt write it wrong..it really is a 4.5 hr class. Last night we had one 10 min break at like 630. So needless to say we were all getting pretty anxious to get out of there. I know that when we get further into it it wont be as bad because we will actually be doing things, but last night was the first night so they had to go over everything.
10:30..Got home, said hi to the parents, checked my email and went to sleep.

It was a long day. But its over...until I do it all again tomorrow. The good news is that only tuesdays should be like that. Thursdays I usually dont work (except for tomorrow) so I can jsut go to my grandmas (who lives in evendale 5 min from the evendale campus) and sleep or play games or whatever with her.
I absolutely hate the first week of school. I'd rather skip all the introduction stuff and get the point of being there. But it has to be done I guess.
Cincy state goes on terms and this one ends at the beginning of november. 2 months.

I'm terrified I'm gonna get finished with this term and not want to do nursing anymore. Please pray for God to reveal this to me!! (whether i should do it or not). Thanks all. Love you.

beating hearts baby

2006-08-29T04:04:00.000-04:00

ok its official... I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I actually was in love with it the first time i saw it but never could catch it when it was on... but now I have the first season and cant stop watching.
I have a few invites for you all... Thursday my friend Justin (he plays guitar and sings) is playing at Liberty Heights church. Should be good..if you wanna join me..
ALSO>>> Sunday my parents are having this cookout after church and also games and such for the kids to play. I told them I'd come and help with the kids..anyone else interested? They are all such great kids and i want to keep them all. Its hard because I've been on my parents about leaving because I know they are not happy there, but at the same time I know they love those kids, and feel like they would be abandoning them if they left. Pray for this situation. I still have this urge in my heart for mikayla. It makes me sad to think about her and what obsticles she's going to have to overcome as she gets older. If she even makes it that long. (if you have no idea who I'm talking about go back to the post about the zoo).
I've really been thinking about this whole career thing... and I really do think I wanna be a baby nurse... in neonatal care. That's probably gonna change eventually.. but for now it sounds good to me. And about the whole current job situation..I'm gonna stay where I am. I am thinking he is going to retire within the next year or so (hopefully) and there will probably be some sort of lump sum attached to that for each of us employees...so I'm sort of trying to hold out until then. But it is a good paying job and flexible..I am just feeling the need to move on. But I cant really do that until i get another job. So I was thinking that after I take this nurses aid training this term I should apply to one of the hospitals for a job. I know I'll have a better chance of getting a job if i wait and take the training first.
Some may say I'm spoiled because I dont pay my car insurance or phone bill (I hesitate even saying that..knowing again I show my age by not having many responsibilities). I told my mom today I would start paying those just so I can start getting ready for..life..for later when I have lots of other bills to pay. She basically told me to shut up and just use this time to save. I feel like I should have a lot more money saved up considering my living situation and such. But then again I do have a 2-day-a-week job. I did apply somewhere else but have heard nothing thus far.

This year I've really learned how important it is to have community. Or to live in community with others. I love it. And its hard to for me to understand how some people..like my sister..do it..who dont really have community outside of the immediate family . SHe just works too much at this job I know she should quit...while going to school full time and also living with my parents and attending to her husband. Its gotta be hard. Most of her friends that she still talks to (most of them on occasion) are shallow and self-centered. I try to be there for her...to listen when she vents...and have fun when we have time...but i know she needs more..she needs others...she needs more community. I dont even know why I went in to this right now.... except that she needs to be in my prayers more..and I ask that she be in yours also.

come back chrissi alice. i miss you. i love you love you.
blue ice cream is available for a few more weekends!

kati: did you ever see devon anymore? man I'm gonna miss that kid...

beating heart baby :)

my favorite little man...

2006-08-22T23:15:00.000-04:00

This is Austin. He is my favorite kid ever. Look at those adorable ears!

I think I mentioned in a previous post that we went to the zoo last Thursday. Robby was our photographer (what a shocker!) At one point my grandma asked if he worked and took pictures for the zoo... she didnt know he came with us. Gotta love her...
So anyway... thanks to Robby we have all these great pictures! So if you'd like to get in on some of the fun I will add a link to Robby's flickr site so you can view the pics. (I hope you don't mind Robby!)
The link is under "links" (titled Robby's flickr pics) to the right of this page.

Love you all.

we never saw the elephants

2006-08-18T01:05:00.000-04:00

So I've been wanting to take the kids from my mom's church to the zoo for awhile... just something fun for them to do.. and today we finally went. It was about 15 or so kids, and around 10 adults? It was good. Thanks again to scotty, robby and ashley who came.. and lindsay... it would have been harder without them there to watch over some. I was worried about today, actually, becuase something always goes wrong.. like a tire goes out, or someone gets sick/hurt.. something like that. But everything went well and I think all the kids enjoyed it.. even my favorite little ones..
I've told a few of you about my favorite little girl Mikayla... she is 3 years old and has spinal bifida. She wasnt ever supposed to walk but she does.. she wears braces on her legs and she walks almost as well as any other 3 year old (with double the determination). I love her. She is the cutest little girl I've ever met. Her homelife isn't very good- very unstable, and they dont always respnd immediately to her disabled needs. It tears me up because I dont understand how her family doesnt look at her everyday and see how much of a blessing she is. Maybe they just see her as a waste of money (on medical bills) and... well i dont even know waht they think... but i see her little smiling face, as she's wobbling around on her braced legs..and just think of what a little miracle she is. I want her so badly. My mom and grandma have both said that if she was ever taken out of her house, or the option was ever put out there to adopt her, they would both fight for her. She deserves so much more love and care than she's getting. I'm not doubting her parent's love for her... but i am doubting their concern and care for her needs. Her dad didn't even want to take her to the hospital last weeek when she had a temperature of 104. He told my grandma something like, "I'm not just gonna go take her to the doctor every time something is wrong with her". um.. why not? she is your daughter and needs you! She's 3..she cant survive this on her own. Its been said that she's not supposed to live very long. I cant even imagine... My heart breaks for her.

so anyway.. we had fun at the zoo. I got to hang out with all my favorite kids.. and everyone had fun, no one was injured.

please pray for mikayla and family. I'm never sure how to exactly pray for these situations... that she gets taken from her home and we get her? or that her family sobers up and realizes what an angel they have.. and the needs she has.

my amusement for today

2006-08-14T23:24:00.000-04:00

Whats uP? I haven't told a story in awhile so I decided to share my day. It was lame but there were a few comic reliefs involved. So this morning I left nerdwood at 640 and got inside school around 7. When I arrived at the door of the office i was supposed to be at I noticed there were 4 other girls waiting also. (I was warned there would be a line already formed at the door). We were all told to be there at 7, though we weren't allowed in until 730. So that was great. Finally 730 came around and we all went in to get some papers signed to get into the nurses aid training, followed by "now you must go downstairs and register". Okay.... I thought we were already waiting in line to be registered, but whatever.... so after signed papers i eventually found my way downstairs to stand in another line to get registered for this class. It was around 730 and of course this office wouldn't open until 8. So we waited...once again. And the doors opened.. and we waited as we were helped one by one. (I was about 6th in line). The actual registering took about 2.5 minutes so I pretty much had a bunch of time to waste before my 930 appt. with my advisor.
(Fast forwarding...)
Here I am waiting for my appointment and I recognize this guy (of short stature) that works at the urgent care I went to in West Chester. He was waiting with a friend that was trying to decide on his classes. So I was talking to them both about classes, majors, where they live, jobs, etc. Just casual conversation. His friend was like brazillian or something and I can't deny my eyes were occasionally fixed on his pretty face...I mean what..? I mean he was..his friend's name was adam or something and this kid's name was..well i really dont remember. I was too busy listening to the brazillian guy's accent. Ok so anyway... we are all talking..and waiting. Then all the sudden the short urgent care guy is like "can you help me with something?" and he hands me his razor cell phone (I hate razor cell phones, by the way. No offense if you have one or like it, but I think they're oogly). And my name is entered and he wants me to type in my number. So this creates somewhat of an awkward moment because here we are all just chillin and talking and he has to ruin it for asking for my number. Ok so right when he hands me the phone my advisor comes out and says "Sarah?" So I quickly give back the phone without entering my digits and said something lame like "well I'll probably see you around soon". SAVED BY THE ADVISOR. I knew they were good for something. Now I'm kinda creeped out by him. Yes its only a phone number but those who know me know you have to be subtle about these things or I get scared and run from you. And I have this fear he's like gonna look up my number at the urgent care place (since he works there, and therefore has access). Maybe I really do need to be dating someone so I can get out of situations like that without actually lying about why I'm not gonna give them my number. The creepy kid actually asked me (sort of joking..sort of) when I got up to go to my meeting if I wanted him to wait for me... I gave him a courtesy smile and walked on...probably rolling my eyes after passing him by.
..........................
So I'm at work later and so tired. So on my lunchbreak I get a starbucks caramel macchiato. I was a complete coffee freak last year during school, but I really havent drank much this summer. And I dont drink soda so needless to say my insides arent used to caffeine anymore. I drank my starbucks in about 10 minutes and my head was so A.D.D. for like 5 hours. My heart was racing and I couldnt focus. It was weird because I was so tired and felt like i was moving in slow motion, yet my brain was trying to move on double time. At one point i was supposed to tack on this bracket on this other thing for my mom and within like 10 seconds i was so frusterated and told her i couldnt do it anymore. It was weird to have this caffeine high. I used to claim caffeine had no effect on me. Well I lie.

Thats all. I'm sorry I didnt sarcasm it up like was possible... I was somewhat lacking inspiration.

love yous.