"tomorrow your life might change completely, tomorrow you may experience the world in a whole new light, tomorrow things might just remain the same, but one thing is for sure we never know what tomorrow might bring..."

i think i have experienced the world in a whole new light


i love you buddy

i hate when people die

So I just found out that this guy (Jamie) that was like part of our family died this morning. He was 35 years old and had downsyndrome. He was the one of the sweetest people I've ever known. He always hugged everyone whenever he came around... he tried to play guitar and sing (he just strummed and we couldnt really understand what he was saying..but it was funny). He absolutely adored my mom. My parents went to see him last night because they hadnt in awhile and my mom said he seemed fine..like he wasnt even sick at all... showing them around the home.. introducing friends. Then my mom gets a call this morning from my grandpa (he takes care of Jamie's grandma) saying that Jamie had a seizure early this morning and died. I am absolutely shocked... this has really hit me harder than i thought it would. His grandma is really old-- she's the one that basically took care of him when he wasnt in the home cuz both his parents died when he was younger. I dont think she'll live very long now bc he was her life. His funeral is friday and I'll probbaly skip my 11am class to go. I hate funerals. i hate death.
But he has a new body now.. no more downsyndrome.

On a not-depressing note... this week should be good... good meaning better than last week. Last thurs i took my english midterm and tomorrow I'm going in for a 5 min conference with the prof... so i dont have to be there till 11:45.. which rocks my world. Unless i go to chapel at 10. And I dont have class thursday bc he will still have conferences. I'm excited. I'm not exactly fond of that class.
And I get to go to prayer meeting wednesday- bc the kid i babysit for will be out of town.
My ACTS midterm is wednesday.. sorta scared. But i think i will do well.
Then the funeral friday, hayride saturday, helping out with movie night sunday (if yall need it), and halloween is already monday!
This is random but my grandpaernts are coming in for thanksgiving on nov. 7! I havent seen them in like 2 years. And we are all going to georgia for thanksgivng to see other family. Should be fun.
I hope you enjoyed my update.
love you.


i want a bee beard

restless

There's a burning in my heart everyday
I come to you
I look to you and say
When will I become everything
that you've intended me to be
I'm beating at my chest everyday
I run to you
I come to you and say
When will I become everything
that you've intended me to be
I am so tired, I am so beaten
From walking down the road of shattered dreams
I am so lonely I am so broken

Won't you come

won't you rescue me

I am so tired
I am so tired

[I'll be the light inside of you and won't let go of you]

Come rescue me

won't you come, won't you come

I'm calling out your name
_________________________________________________________________________

So recently I've been feeling like WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? Yes, I'm going to school. But am I gonna stay here and major in some sort of missions? or transfer and major in something else that I could actually fall back on if I didnt do anything missions-related. I mean..you dont HAVE to have a degree to be in the ministry but you do have to have one to be able to do anything else worth making a living from. I like this school and all but is this where I'm supposed to be? And how much longer will i be able to drive this everyday? And i really cant afford to live anywhere else right now with my low income. Sometimes I just feel like there are other things I should be doing than this. But what?
I begin to feel stagnant in life and my walk and have this thought to just rebel or something. But who am I kidding... the worst I would rebel is to like get another piercing... oooohhhh... i know.. thatd realy be a shocker. So becuase of my lack of rebelious side I become desperate and (A) either let myself go crazy (it has happened before)... or (B) throw myself back into the arms of my loving God who i know is always there..here..everywhere..just waiting for me to come back.
I hate that I'm constantly disappointing Him because I tear myself down all the time and dont have faith in myself to do things... and all the time he is getting frusterated with me because he has so much confidence in me that I dont see. He knows what I can do and has chosen me to follow him because He has faith in me.
So what kind of a loser am i to have such low self-confidence sometimes when He is right next to me screaming "I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT".


"We must make our lives extraordinary"

drowning for a second

The start of a new week.

.....Midterms.....Speeches. .........Papers.....

Needless to say I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Its sucks being such a procrastinator.

Semester half way over.

Thank God.



when will I become what you've intended me to be?
translation:: what the heck am i supposed to do with my life?

my evening...

I babysat my neighbor tonight for the 2nd time. He's 7 years old and his parents are divorced- he lives with his mom, dad lives in Colorado. Well we were watching a movie and his dad called. They talked about what Luke did at school for like 15 min then the convo changed. Luke said something to his dad about him yelling at his mom on the phone and how he shouldnt do that. They went on in this conversation for like 40 min about his dad not respecting his mom bc he yells at her and calls her bad names (as Luke said "the B.I. word"). Luke told him over and over to "not say mean things to her. It hurts her and me. If you're going to say mean things then shut your mouth and dont say a word. If you call her, only say nice things becuase thats why you call to talk to someone. Promise you wont say any mean things anymore." It was so strange. For about 40 minutes i forgot that i was babysitting a 7 year old. He sounded like an adult talking to another adult. He was telling his father to be respectful and nice, never to say anythign mean or yell...things he probably even learned from his dad. It just broke my heart. I wanted to take away the phone and scream "JUST LISTEN TO YOUR KID!!" Towards the end of the convo he started breaking down so he went upstair but i could still hear him talking. He was getting so frusterated bc his father was apparently trying to explain why he yelled (bc his mom said mean things too) and justify it. But all Luke could say is "but you dont have to say mean things to her!" What a great son.. trying to help his parents and all his dad sees is him attacking him. My heart goes out to this family. I think its been 2 years since the divorce. Both parents are dating others. I saw tonight how hard it really is on this kid. He is the mediator for his parents and it shouldnt be like that. He didnt ask to be in the middle of it all. Please pray for Luke and his parents. Mom is Sandy.. dont know Dads name. Thanks.

i wanna get my ears pierced

amy poehler
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

First of all I want to start out saying how excited I am that saturday night live is on right now... I'm such a dork and totally obsessed with this show!!

amy peohler is my hero.

I've seemed to be pretty busy lately. But good busy I guess. School isn't too stressful yet or anything, although I do have mid-terms coming up in a few weeks.
Tonight was fun.. i took my cousin out for her birthday.. we didnt really end up doing what I planned but we went to rave and saw the Corpse Bride (eh.. it was no Nightmare Before Christmas...) and In Her Shoes-- which was pretty cute. I ate so much junk food plus like a whole Mr. Pib soda.. which I NEVER drink soda.. so I'm feeling pretty sick right now. i sorta wish I'd just throw it up and get it over with. But thats what i get for eating so dang much. But what was cool was when we were leaving the first movie.. someone left their large popcorn tub thing so we took it and got a free refill of popcorn! How flippin sweet is that? A free large popcorn! But we only ate like a 10th of it bc it was so huge.

I really need to get back in the word. I've totally been slacking lately bc its like for school I have to study Acts and parts of the bible so it doesnt seem as essential to have that quiet time. But I know I need to be fitting it in my schedule-- which is so stupid to say because really.. if I do it as much as i should be .. i really should be planning my other time around quiet time.. bc thats so much more important than everything else. But do i do that? Heck no..
I have been reading Velvet Elvis by ROb Bell.. definitly would recommend it. I havent yet finished Understanding God's Will.. (yes friends, I am a slacker).. but when I finish Velvet Elvis i have Searching For God Knows What.. then I'll probably read the God's WIll book entirely over again.. then maybe Blue Like Jazz bc thats probably my favorite so far..
now that you know my reading schedule for the next five years I guess i can sign off now...

for weekend update.. I'm sarah...
goodnight and have a pleasent tomorrow :)

**

311

Go to my profile and click on the audio clip.

You like?

I wish it would just play whenever my page comes up..

Anyway.. i love you

peace out

death cab cuties and missing teeth

In the midst of paper writing.. needing to take a break...

i really love Death Cab right now.. Ive listened to them nonstop for 5 days. Its great. And theyre playing in my head right now as I speak.

So how is school going Sarah?
Its going well, thanks. Thankfully I havent gotten too sick of the drive yet. Probably partially becuase I only do it like 4 days a week (thanks j&kt). And I usually never have traffic becuase I'm on my way there before it starts and I'm out by 12 everyday. I really love my class on Acts. Its by far the most work of any class and does get boring sometimes but I'm really learning a lot and actually enjoying doing it! I absolutely love that I can say I love a class I have.

So after class today I went to Panera in springdale and had my first eating at a restaurant by myself experience. I ate outside so it wasnt as weird i guess. I also did some acts homework--reading part of acts. It was quite relaxing and a beautiful day to sit outside. And there was this little girl a few tables down that was trying to feed a bird some bread. It was the cutest thing ever. She finally learned to just throw the bread and the bird went over, grabbed it and flew away and she started screaming, "Mommy!...the birdie ate my bread!" Oh...so adorable. Probably the highlight of my day.
So after my lunch, I then preceded to walk next door to family christian where i bought 2 books: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. I'm excited to read them. I just have to get myself back into "reading mode".

I better stop procrastinating this paper... but first I'll leave you with this random quote of the weekend:
"Its okay...I won't bite..I left my teeth in the car"

**

** what the carp?!

so...the weeks have been flying by. But then again, not quick enough. i cant wait for christmas break already. I cant believe I will be 19 this year. Compared to most of yall thats pretty young but that seems so old to me-- considering i STILL feel like I'm 16.
We went boating yesterday. Youre welcome for the wipeout tubing show (to those of you that were there and witnessed my skill in flying)... it hurts today though. My neck..arms..BUTT. I'm not complaining though.. it sure was fun. But youall lied to me (well, Kati) Jimmy fallon wasnt there. Thats why i really couldnt water ski.
I was CLose... but definitly NO cigar.
I love you all. GOodnight my loves.

*********************
^ ladies.... (remember)^

suicidal cats and new york friends

So this morning as I was out for my regular Tuesday jog :) (Kati you have inspired me!) I was on my way home and I saw a suicidal cat laying directly in the middle of the road. As I passed by I tried to call it over to me but considering I dont care much for cats I didnt try all that hard. Well it moved like 30 seconds after i went by and didnt end up getting hit by any cars... it was just funny to see a cat laying in the middle of the road.
My project for my ACTS class is finally over!! I stressed so much about it and I didnt even feel like I had a weekend bc all I did was work on and edit that stupid [8 page] paper! But the work is never over.. and I'm not complaining... it IS college and i expect it.... well tomorrow I have to do a three minute or less commercial about something in my public speaking class. I am such a procrastinator-- i still have no idea what I'm going to say... i was given the idea of pimp juice (you know it) by someone.. and although it is quite a brilliant idea, I believe I will decline bc I dont have any here and i dont feel like going to get some. Lazy, yes I know.
I watched the Wedding Date last night.. and despite bad reviews I've heard from people recently I really liked it! I thought it was really cute- especially with that main dude. And I loved the soundtrack..
I feel like I'm starting to sound like a 10 year old girl on here...

My friend Maygen... who most of you knew... moved to New York to go to FIT (fashion school...you guess it) and I was talking to her the other day online and here was the conversation...she makes me laugh:) I love my new york friend...

mayann005: okay get ready for this
mayann005: last night i was laying in my bed watching tv..i look over at the wall above my bed and a huge literally one of the biggest bugs i have ever seen...but yea a cock roach on my wall
mayann005: it was horrible
Sabeth22: ha... what did you do?
mayann005: screamed and ran out in the hall..then started panicing then crying...like my whole floor was in my room looking for it but it ran off some where so they were convinced it was gone
mayann005: so i finally after about 45 minutes or so went back in my room
mayann005: and i was on my comp and my roomie is like don't scream but its back..so i run down the hall to get these girls who are like roach killing pres and they come in and killed it
Sabeth22: well at least its dead
mayann005: yea
mayann005: but there are more in the walls i just hope no more come to our room

That was such a typical maygen thing to say... so funny i miss her alot

peace

sunsets in Israel

Mediterranean Sea
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

So this is probably my favorite picture that I've ever taken. It doesn't look real. I figured it be appropriate to post a pic from the Israel journey considering those memories have been taking up much of my thoughts lately. Being at this school I am constantly reminded of the Israel trip. I have a class on Acts and the Bible Lands, I always run into people that went with us... I love it but then again I hate it because it only fuels my painful desire to go back... and I know that it will be a long while before I ever get taht chance again (or IF I ever do..)
So...not much else on in my mind except school recently... and when to schedule my cousin's wedding shower.
I dont think my sister is moving to Georgia any time soon,.. at least thats the last word I got about it. I'm so glad.
I can't wait to find an apartment or something low in cost close to school! I'm already getting sick of driving...not a good sign.
Alright. Now I'm starting to feel as though I'm writing just to fill up space... goodnight all.

is this really happening?

So I was listening to this song and it reminded me of everything going on in the world right now-- as far as the war halfway across the world, and the devastation in the southern states and all those people going crazy, hoping that this is all a dream... not wanting to believe that they're fully awake and actually going through this hell. I feel like I'm watching a horrible movie everytime I turn on the tv. It's not real to me because I don't have direct contact to anyone involved there, and I can't even begin to comprehend that amount of destruction or pain.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

I can't believe the news today
I can't close my eyes and make it go away.
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
'Cos tonight
We can be as one, tonight.

Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead-end street.
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall.

Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Oh, let's go.

And the battle's just begun
There's many lost, but tell me who has won?
The trenches dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters
Torn apart.

Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.

How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
'Cos tonight
We can be as one, tonight.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.

Wipe the tears from your eyes
Wipe your tears away.
I'll wipe your tears away.
I'll wipe your tears away.
I'll wipe your bloodshot eyes.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.

And it's true we are immune
When fact is fiction and TV reality.
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die.
The real battle just begun
To claim the victory Jesus won
On...

Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday..

i love bed...and weekends

“Maybe Jimmy Fallon will come to town riding a white horse and just happen to come to your door (randomly) and invite you to a grand party being held in his honor and you were the lucky winner. Then you would fall in love and get married and have little funny babies.”

Isn't this the greatest random quote of all time?! I love it. I have to admit something… of course I think james fallon is absolutely adorable and hilarious but im really not as obsessed as I may come off…

Anyone planning on going to the fireworks downtown?! I want to go! Cb1,2,3? let me know!

So you know how annoying traffic is, right? Well today I was driving on 71 north from the norwood area and traffic was way backed up… bumper to bumper… so I was thinking.. 330 on a Friday.. Rush hour of course. Well we sort of started moving and like 15 minutes of driving about 5 mph we pass an accident that happened on THE OTHER SIDE of the highway median.. Going 71 south. As soon as we passed it the cars started moving and getting abck up to regular speed. I was stunned by the genius’ that cant recognize an accident, think about it for 5 seconds, and keep driving at a normal speed. Traffic was backed up for miles bc of an accidnet NOT on our side of the highway!! WOW. It always amazes me at how many people cannot multi-task.--or even DRIVE.
Alright self.. don’t get your panties all in a wad…
I’m back..
I don’t want to talk about school anymore.

I’m sad that my sis is moving to Atlanta.. I don’t know when yet but it will be a very hard change for me. And I know she’s gonna get pregnant as soon as they move and I will be irate. I guess that will mean ill just have to move with them if that happens…I mean, how could they both work AND take care of a child at the same time? They would need a live in nanny.. And I wouldn’t trust anyone else but family to do it… okay im thinking WAYY far in advance.

I feel loopy today. That would proably explain my randomness except for that’s not really an explanation. I don’t really know why. Maybe its from hanging out with those freaks that live in the bushes outside Katie’s house… I better cancel our get together later then…

i am mostly recovered

So yesterday I wrote a really long post and I went to publish it and it redirected me elsewhere and I couldn’t get back… losing everything I had just written. I was mildly irate. (or more than mildly… as you can tell from the past post).
School’s been good. Today in public speaking class I had to tell about a personal experience and a lesson I learned. I talked some about Israel. I really couldn’t think of anything else at the time.
I’m already sick of the thought of homework… I just look at the syllabus, roll my eyes, and groan. I haven’t had too much yet, but again, its only the 2nd week of these classes.
I went to Chapel last Thursday. I really liked it actually- I didn’t know if I would. The worship was awesome and I really enjoyed hearing our school president speak.
Friends? I’ve met some. Its strange bc usually I make more guy friends than girls when I’m in a new place.. But I can handle guys more than girls usually - as far as drama… girls are CRAZY (well, if its different if its MY girls, or new girl friends… cuz I’d rather have MY GIRLS over any guys any day-- for now at least J )
I really like this school. Its different being in a christian school, having teachers pray for us before each class.. That is CRAZINESS! But I love it. The drive really isn’t killing me either
Oh, by the way… so I changed the title of this blog… any comments? That is a line from a song by Superchick (Katie posted the lyrics from that song recently.) The song really applies to me right now… cuz all this time I’ve been stressing about college and where I’m supposed to be and it just feels so right, right now. I’m not positive I’ll stay at this school for all of my college education, but for now it just fits, and feels good.
I’m still deciding if I like title and if I will keep..

Thanks again kati for letting me stay with you these past 2 weeks! Its been fun.. And convenient!
Homework party….you know it.

i love you all

i hate blog

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH>>>>>
I could just scream at this stupid blog thing that loves to find ways to erase my entry before it publishes!!!!!!!!!

if it was a person i'd punch him.

what's goin down

So.... I feel its been awhile since I've posted anything actually worth it. Ive just been really busy lately and I hate it. If the prayer room wasnt this past week I think I wouldve gone insane by now with having no time for anything... but the prayer room has provided that quiet time required to keep me from absolutely losing it this week. I started my first regular schedule of classes today.... Acts of the Apostles, Bible Lands and Lifeways (Bond girls- i dont have Mark Zeise... i was bummed :) who am i gonna share my snickers with now?) Public speaking, and tomorrow I have english. So today i heard a few times how youre never supposed to take acts and bible lands in the same semester. Oh poop... oh well im not gonna drop or change anything now. I'll get through it. I'm sure I'll break down a few times throughout the semester (its to be expected) but it'll be fine.... all things must come to an end, right? An end which is 3-4 months away...sigh..... Ive barely started and I'm already dreading. Today was just somewhat---no, highly overwhelming. I hate how almost all professors start off by going through the entire syllabus... it makes me feel really anxious and stressed out bc of all the assignments, projects and tests that are to come... I'd rather skip all taht nonsense and just start the class and find out all that later when its completely necessary. What else is going on?...... well I've really enjoyed the prayer room this week. I can be entirely stressed or worried about somethign and walk into that room and feel the spirit overcome me with this peace that is just so great and unexplainable. I go through stages that I feel... i always want to say "a burden" for certain people... but its not a burden... its just compassion..? and empathy i guess. I go through stages with certain people. So some have been on my mind a lot lately, its like i see their needs and passions and hurt with them when they dont succeed at things theyve tried so hard on, it gets tiring sometimes to think like that. I try not to- its just in my nature, i guess, to sense thigns like that about people and get emotionally involved for them (or with them, without them really knowing it i guess) ...........wow I'm at katies right now and its like 1130 and there are people standing right outside the window i am next to having really loud conversation about bars in new york and getting wasted or something. They sound pretty trashed as it is...I'm glad im not trying to sleep bc id be a lot more irritated. Poor katie... i hope she is heavily asleep by now..............so people on my mind...praying alot for them lately..oh right, things on my mind.. my cousin is getting married in november and i am the maid of honor so i really need to get on this shower planning thing. I honestly dont want this responsibility of planning this shower... she has a whole lot of fam on her other side, I can see my life getting progressively busier from now on... maybe I am just being selfish. But Im also not totally excited bc I'm not so fond of her situation. Her fiance is cool and everything (no one else in my extended fam likes him- they dont think hes right for her) but he lives in florida and as soon as they marry they are moving there (she lives in northern ohio)..so its a long distance relationship and they havent even had the experience of living remotely close to see if they will get sick of eachother or anythign. I just dont see how this is a fairytale... all i can see is her moving there, missing her mom, missing her friends, missing how much fiance made over her before they were married, and just feeling so alone bc she is in florida- so far away from everyone and everything she knows!! But maybe he wont stop all the good things he's been doing for her. And it IS florida... the beach?! Heck yes! IN conclusion, its a little hard for me to plan thigns for the weddign when I'm not totally into the correct mindset of her even getting married right now (she'll be 19 in november). I have been praying about this, though.. that thier relationship before marriage wont be solely based on the physical aspect, and that God would speak to both of them about whether this is right or not... please pray with me about all this! The wedding is november 19. Alright.. if i have any else to blab i'll let you know.... goodnight my lovelies!

you dont know me

I'm so annoyed right now with my 9 annonymous commments from stupid spam people from the last entry. So I blocked annonymous users-- sorry adam.. and anyone else that remains annonymous. i just cant handle all that crap... i was built up to believe I had 9 comments from my brilliant friends but was shot down as soon as the page came up. Wow...im really making a huge deal out of this arent i?! Sorry... its just more than slightly irritating.


im not totally ready to open my head at this time
.peace.out.

"I wish to lie low before God, as in the dust; that I might be nothing, and that God might be all, that I might become as a little child."

just chillen

So I've been trying to think of a new name for this stupid thing. My title (Who's the Genius that named it a blog?) Is pretty lame. So if theres like a theme to all my madness or something that you think would be a good new title please let me know! I would love some feedback on this.

Peace out*

stories and naptime

so school is going well i guess. Its really boring to sit in the same chair for so long but the class itself is really interesting. Except yesterday when we had to learn about the eye and different cells in the body. I dont think i did very well on taht test today-- which really shouldnt be that bad bc he curves his tests... but one guy said he only missed one question which will decrease the effect of the curve. blast. So needless to say I really need to go study-- tomorrow is our last day and I think the test is 100 questions over all we've learned so far- which hasnt been a whole lot i must say. There was a lot more i was looking forward to learning in this class. But as the guy is talking about a subject he used stories and examples to help us out... which then lead to more stories off of that and eventually he tries to tie it all back together which doesnt always work out. Its funny, but we are not near where we are supposed to be. I think there are like 8 chapters we are supposed to learn about and today we finished chapter 4. I dont know if he's gonna give a test in the morning, teach all day, then give us another test at the end? I guess i'll find out. He's so funny though, and totally not concerned about time at all. This is supposed to start at 830 and go till 4 or 430p, with a lunch break in the middle and a few other breaks in between. Tues and Wed he gave us 2 hour lunch breaks and today we got done at lunch bc he has another class later to prepare for. This is the benefit of having a professor that has taught for a long time-- they dont care as much. But he is a good teacher and really captures my attention with all his stories and great examples. So yes i was out at 12 today, ate lunch at school and came back to katie's. She doesnt get home till 4ish so I'm just chillen -- maybe nap time? And of course LONG study time today. blast...i hate studying.
Overall its been a good week. At tiems I wish i would be living in the dorms but then again, I'm glad I'm not. They dont have airconditioning, it smells like pee as soon as you walk in the main doors... I'm just spoiled i guess. Its great that school is 35 min from me bc my dad is forced to get used to me driving more and hopefully wont be on my back as much when i want to go somewhere that isnt MASON (oh God forbid!) or in that general vicinity.

Yeah, nap sounds good... peace out.