be thou my vision

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light

Be Thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I, Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou art

High King of heaven my victory won
My I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's son
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all


No matter what I do to him or how long I'm away, he's always there and has never moved, it is I that walked away.
He knew I would come back. And he is always faithful to never leave me when I seem hopeless.

so much going on

This is sorta a reminder for me but these are some things coming up...

THIS WEEK:
Friday night (4/29)
-k new's bday party
Saturday (4/30)
- shelley marshall walk (memorial walk for teacher that died a few yrs ago at mason)
-work a merch table at the underground
Sunday (5/1)
-church a.m.
-carwash
-"youth" service (I'm so not singing by myself if youre reading this)
-Grill out

MAY 7- GRADUATION PARTY (email me if you know nothing about it)
(may 9= katies bday)
May 14- Mother/daughter lunch at my gpas church
15-movienight at the oak THE INCREDIBLES
(may 16=mama's bday)
21-22-out of town
23- reds game
28- skillet/kids in the way concert!!!
29- GRADUATION finally


And that pretty much wraps up the month of may. I had to record that somewhere so i dont forget it all.
I've been in a funk lately and i hate it. I'm like feeling the pressure of growing up and reallywanting to neglect any current or future responsibilities having to do with people looking up to me or expecting something from me. It's all very selfish. It will pass. I hope. How great would it be to be 4 or 5 again and have no idea whats going on ever, much less actually care. I would love it. But since I can't do that, for now I'll just drown myself in movies, dreams, anything that can take my mind off the reality of the busyness of life every once in awhile. I love to be off in a "different world", even for hours sometimes. Not recognizing fully who i am or what I'm supposed to be doing or why. Losing all concept of time and having absolutely no care in the world.
I'm sorry if i sound all "purple haze" druggyish. I'm clean, I promise you that.
Anyways, I'll get over it. I just dont remember seeing "crazy" in the job description of being 18.

So yes, changing the subject, busy weekened. Sorta wishing tomorrow wasnt friday already. But I know one person that will be ecstatic when tomorrow, april 29 comes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY K.NEWS!! You are so great.

end.


c.alice i will miss you so much

show the world the real you

We make lists of things we want to accomplish before we die.

I want to have changed someone's life.

so many things

Never reaching what I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my fingernails

I’m empty, lonely, and accused
Accused without a word
My fingernails are chipping down
From clawing in the dirt
I’m so lost, lost and confused
I threw it all away
How can I be beautiful
When I am so afraid

Never reaching what I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my fingernails
All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails

I watched it all slip through my hands
My brokenness revealed
I’m so proud, I’m so proud
I’m crying to be filled
I’m killing, destroying the plague
That’s killing me away
I’ve got to live, I’ve got to love
Like I am unafraid

Never reaching what I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my fingernails

All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails

I’m wasting, wasting every moment
I want to be tasting
Tasting every moment with you
I’m suffering, I’m bleeding, on my knees
Who’s going to save me?
Suffering, bleeding
Save me from this pit of frailty

Never reaching what I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my fingernails

All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails

Never reaching me


Fingernails-- SKILLET

Cool verses from Ephesians

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph 4:1,2)

In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (4:26)

Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to thier needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (4:29)

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved chldren and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (5:1)

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as chldren of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. (5:8-10)

Be very careful then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. (5:15-17)

getting close

Update on college...
I really want to run away whenever this comes up but I can't do it anymore. I'm running out of decision time. And I'm sorry to tell my girls that are pushing me to get out of my house that I most likely will not go away. You can lecture me all you want about independence and college life and I understand totally what you are saying. And the money thing--I shoudlnt worry about it--I know, i know. But i do worry ab. it. And if I stay here and work for at least a year or two, I can save enough money to get a nicer car and have more freedom to like travel or whatever.
So... some options right now are:

Cincinnati Christian University- live on or off campus
Raymond Walters- not most likely anymore
Temple Baptist College- small but it IS an accredited college...I'm still looking into it

Then there's also a mission/discipleship college in HAWAII that's only like 5 months long.

I feel like I'm getting closer to a decision. But I'm still some paperwork away from all of these schools.

We'll see.


"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go and do that, because what the world needs are people who've come alive." John Eldredge

Come My Way

Hundreds come from everywhere
Just to see your face and touch the healer's hand
Desperate, I push through the crowd
If I could touch your clothes
I could feel your power

Come my way

Please look
And notice me
Just to release my pain
Just to know your name

Come my way

I'm out of touch
I'm out of reach
I've got the faith to believe
Am I out of touch or out of reach
What would it take for you to walk towards me

I'm out of touch, out of reach
But I'm running towards you and it's all I believe

Come my way

Just a touch


By Skillet

random saying of the day..

Could God drink so much secret juice he would get sick?

Happy surprise birthday Cindy!!
I love yoU!


Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday...