Wednesday, February 22, 2006

crazy cool medallions

So once apon a time a girl tried to put a video on her blog... the video never showed up but the "I LOVE IT" did... making no sense to the readrs.... so... in conclusion... I AM THAT GIRL! and the stupid blog wont letme delete that last post. Sorry the video didnt show. I dont remember what it was but im sure it was freakin hilarious. I've been a basketcase today... went to chapel this morning.... a first in awhile. It was pretty good. But whenever i sit down for any kind of service lately I've gotten in this bad habit of reading or writing.... anything having to do with not listening to the speaker... but i had to focus myself back in today. THen i had class...eh... paper is due NEXT thurs instead of this thurs! thats excitinng. anyone wanna write it for me? Its about free speech on college campus. I'm totally burnt out from writing papers the past few weeks. Like so much that I am really considering not ever writing another one. For me writing a paper is like sticking a knife in my arm and twisting it around a few times. YES>....THAT PAINFUL. I'm being dramatic here... but it is torturous. On the way to work after class I started gettting that feeling back of I WANNA GET THE HECK OUTA HERE! Like leave everything.... work, school, church, friends... im sorry friends..i love you i just want to be anywhere but here sometimes. The feeling isnt as strong right this second but its still there. We had dinner tonight with my sis and her beau... it was good. I miss my sister. I never see her anymore... its good to be together..we just laugh at everything. Maybe if i spend more time with her i wont feel so crazy all the time. wow... life... this time last year was so much different. Getting ready to go to Israel with my crazy girls... trying to decide where to go to school. Actually... besides going to israel i guess things arent that much different... im still trying to deicde where to go to school. I know what i want to do now I just lack the motivation to go through with it. sometimes i wish i wouldve stayed on campus at ccu. I really think i would love it right now. I just seclude mjyself so much sometimes. i hate it. i keep up a huge wall. im so freaking insecure. alright.... enough self-analyzing... i dont feel like hating myself right now. TO all my faithful readers... I LOVE YOU!! and thanks for being my friend...in spite of learning how my crazy brain works.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

i love it!

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

wanting to move on

okay lets go
I'm ready to move on.
Today was my day off from doing papers. I had a glorious day date on my couch, in a quiet house, with a blanket and some movies. It's been great. But now I'm starting to stress a little about the paper due thurs...not much time between now and then, but..... BREATHE... Ineed not to think about it until tomorrow....
5 papers in 2 weeks.. thats completely rediculous!!! I'm ready for spring break. I'm ready to take a road trip to colorado and stay for awhile. I know i wont be doing this for at least a few months, but its wonderful to think about.
blast...im starting to get smalll daily headaches from coffee addiction...
i need to start applying to schools for next year and look for jobs that will pay for school ..or find scholorships... im just not motivated
guys are just... so weird. I'm sorry if you are a dude.. you all just think so much differently than girls. Which makes you hard to read bc i analyze everything so flippin much!!!

oh waiting.... isnt patience just glorious.

By the way.... you, yes YOU, are beautiful and i love you.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

believe

I pray that the God of all love, peace, grace, compassion, picks you up gently off the ground, where the pieces of you have shattered, and places each peace back perfectly in its chosen spot to make you even more beautiful and holy than you ever were before.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I'm still alive!

I guess it hasnt been that long since ive posted but it feels long.... theres been alot going on.. 3 papers due next week. Ive been learning alot about alot of things... especially myself... the past few weeks have been mixed emotional. MOre good than bad though. Reconciled a friendship..that was good. Trying to help out a friend doing the same ... but its exhausting to be in the middle. Semi-confused/irritated with a certain one....
sick of being bugged!
im tired...
i need to read

i feel like i had something profound to tell you today... but that paper took all my energy out of me... ill let you know later when im refreshed. It was a true word from GOd. oh well

now im just rambling.
ill write something of significance when i have time to catch my breath.

i stumbled across lovedrug today... i like alot
http://www.myspace.com/lovedrug


peace out