God is still answering prayers

I told many of you this morning that my grandma (dad's mom..in colorado) had a stroke last night. Well she is doing much better and I thank you all for the prayers!! They worked! Apparently she wasnt feeling good last night then woke up vomiting early in the morning. My brother and Trishia are visiting them this week which has been good support for my gpa.. they took her to the hospital and trishia was talking to her trying to get her to squeeze her hand but she wouldnt respond...she just stared blankly at nothing. But they were thankful that she was in stable condition. She got better as the day went on and trishia even said shes now laughing and talking like her old self. She's 83, and we know shes not going to live forever,but if you knew her you wouldnt think she was 83. She's very energetic and enthusiastic, and loves to exercise and dance :) Espeically to the old classics like the Beatles, Beegees, the Birds.. She's pretty hilarious. Shes been relatively healthy, but she did have heart surgery a few years ago. So the doctors did an MRI and said she had a minor stroke and a rapid recovery. Thank the LOrd. It was really great that brett and trishia were there, though. Brett said my grandpa was really emotional. Trishia works at a hospital so as soon as it all happened she got in "work mode" and apparently was great trying to talk with my gma.. getting her to respond, and calming my gpa, .. and talking to the doctors.
This morning it was like my life stopped inside my head. All my whining and stress and complaining about stupid petty things went away for a few hours. I'm so stessed and focused on the most trivial things. I make this life seem so much harder htan it is sometimes.
I kinda mentioned this at bible study last night but I feel like ive gotten so much more cynical the past year or so... well i guess its been about 2 years now... I think it kinda started when I went to Israel. But anyway... I hate it. I feel like I've lost the joy that I once had and I don't know how to get it back. I really dont know where to start. Well i know it partly has some to do with me becoming more self-consumed. I dont know if anyone else has noticed it but I have.. I've been more infocused.. instead of outfocused on other people and things. I of course care about the people close to me... I guess I'm thinking about the people I dont know... the friends I could have.. the experiences I'm missing from not opening up to people I dont know yet. I remember being so happy and so full of joy when I was younger. But "ignorance is bliss" sometimes.. and innocence. Like I said last night.. I hope this is a phase. But I fear that its not because I dont think I'll ever forget the events/people that have helped this cynicism get worse the past 2 years. I guess thats an issue of forgiveness? I dont know.

I just thank God for healing my grandma today. I want to go see her so bad but I didnt want to see her like she was today. I lose hope sometimes. And I know that if her health did get worse... or if it does continue to do so.. I konw that doesnt mean that GOd isnt there or he isnt listening. But him healing her for today does give me that encouragement I need to kick me in the butt for feeling at all hopeless.
So thanks again for the prayers. They work.