"tomorrow your life might change completely, tomorrow you may experience the world in a whole new light, tomorrow things might just remain the same, but one thing is for sure we never know what tomorrow might bring..."

i think i have experienced the world in a whole new light


i love you buddy

i hate when people die

So I just found out that this guy (Jamie) that was like part of our family died this morning. He was 35 years old and had downsyndrome. He was the one of the sweetest people I've ever known. He always hugged everyone whenever he came around... he tried to play guitar and sing (he just strummed and we couldnt really understand what he was saying..but it was funny). He absolutely adored my mom. My parents went to see him last night because they hadnt in awhile and my mom said he seemed fine..like he wasnt even sick at all... showing them around the home.. introducing friends. Then my mom gets a call this morning from my grandpa (he takes care of Jamie's grandma) saying that Jamie had a seizure early this morning and died. I am absolutely shocked... this has really hit me harder than i thought it would. His grandma is really old-- she's the one that basically took care of him when he wasnt in the home cuz both his parents died when he was younger. I dont think she'll live very long now bc he was her life. His funeral is friday and I'll probbaly skip my 11am class to go. I hate funerals. i hate death.
But he has a new body now.. no more downsyndrome.

On a not-depressing note... this week should be good... good meaning better than last week. Last thurs i took my english midterm and tomorrow I'm going in for a 5 min conference with the prof... so i dont have to be there till 11:45.. which rocks my world. Unless i go to chapel at 10. And I dont have class thursday bc he will still have conferences. I'm excited. I'm not exactly fond of that class.
And I get to go to prayer meeting wednesday- bc the kid i babysit for will be out of town.
My ACTS midterm is wednesday.. sorta scared. But i think i will do well.
Then the funeral friday, hayride saturday, helping out with movie night sunday (if yall need it), and halloween is already monday!
This is random but my grandpaernts are coming in for thanksgiving on nov. 7! I havent seen them in like 2 years. And we are all going to georgia for thanksgivng to see other family. Should be fun.
I hope you enjoyed my update.
love you.


i want a bee beard

restless

There's a burning in my heart everyday
I come to you
I look to you and say
When will I become everything
that you've intended me to be
I'm beating at my chest everyday
I run to you
I come to you and say
When will I become everything
that you've intended me to be
I am so tired, I am so beaten
From walking down the road of shattered dreams
I am so lonely I am so broken

Won't you come

won't you rescue me

I am so tired
I am so tired

[I'll be the light inside of you and won't let go of you]

Come rescue me

won't you come, won't you come

I'm calling out your name
_________________________________________________________________________

So recently I've been feeling like WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? Yes, I'm going to school. But am I gonna stay here and major in some sort of missions? or transfer and major in something else that I could actually fall back on if I didnt do anything missions-related. I mean..you dont HAVE to have a degree to be in the ministry but you do have to have one to be able to do anything else worth making a living from. I like this school and all but is this where I'm supposed to be? And how much longer will i be able to drive this everyday? And i really cant afford to live anywhere else right now with my low income. Sometimes I just feel like there are other things I should be doing than this. But what?
I begin to feel stagnant in life and my walk and have this thought to just rebel or something. But who am I kidding... the worst I would rebel is to like get another piercing... oooohhhh... i know.. thatd realy be a shocker. So becuase of my lack of rebelious side I become desperate and (A) either let myself go crazy (it has happened before)... or (B) throw myself back into the arms of my loving God who i know is always there..here..everywhere..just waiting for me to come back.
I hate that I'm constantly disappointing Him because I tear myself down all the time and dont have faith in myself to do things... and all the time he is getting frusterated with me because he has so much confidence in me that I dont see. He knows what I can do and has chosen me to follow him because He has faith in me.
So what kind of a loser am i to have such low self-confidence sometimes when He is right next to me screaming "I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT".


"We must make our lives extraordinary"

drowning for a second

The start of a new week.

.....Midterms.....Speeches. .........Papers.....

Needless to say I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Its sucks being such a procrastinator.

Semester half way over.

Thank God.



when will I become what you've intended me to be?
translation:: what the heck am i supposed to do with my life?

my evening...

I babysat my neighbor tonight for the 2nd time. He's 7 years old and his parents are divorced- he lives with his mom, dad lives in Colorado. Well we were watching a movie and his dad called. They talked about what Luke did at school for like 15 min then the convo changed. Luke said something to his dad about him yelling at his mom on the phone and how he shouldnt do that. They went on in this conversation for like 40 min about his dad not respecting his mom bc he yells at her and calls her bad names (as Luke said "the B.I. word"). Luke told him over and over to "not say mean things to her. It hurts her and me. If you're going to say mean things then shut your mouth and dont say a word. If you call her, only say nice things becuase thats why you call to talk to someone. Promise you wont say any mean things anymore." It was so strange. For about 40 minutes i forgot that i was babysitting a 7 year old. He sounded like an adult talking to another adult. He was telling his father to be respectful and nice, never to say anythign mean or yell...things he probably even learned from his dad. It just broke my heart. I wanted to take away the phone and scream "JUST LISTEN TO YOUR KID!!" Towards the end of the convo he started breaking down so he went upstair but i could still hear him talking. He was getting so frusterated bc his father was apparently trying to explain why he yelled (bc his mom said mean things too) and justify it. But all Luke could say is "but you dont have to say mean things to her!" What a great son.. trying to help his parents and all his dad sees is him attacking him. My heart goes out to this family. I think its been 2 years since the divorce. Both parents are dating others. I saw tonight how hard it really is on this kid. He is the mediator for his parents and it shouldnt be like that. He didnt ask to be in the middle of it all. Please pray for Luke and his parents. Mom is Sandy.. dont know Dads name. Thanks.

i wanna get my ears pierced

amy poehler
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

First of all I want to start out saying how excited I am that saturday night live is on right now... I'm such a dork and totally obsessed with this show!!

amy peohler is my hero.

I've seemed to be pretty busy lately. But good busy I guess. School isn't too stressful yet or anything, although I do have mid-terms coming up in a few weeks.
Tonight was fun.. i took my cousin out for her birthday.. we didnt really end up doing what I planned but we went to rave and saw the Corpse Bride (eh.. it was no Nightmare Before Christmas...) and In Her Shoes-- which was pretty cute. I ate so much junk food plus like a whole Mr. Pib soda.. which I NEVER drink soda.. so I'm feeling pretty sick right now. i sorta wish I'd just throw it up and get it over with. But thats what i get for eating so dang much. But what was cool was when we were leaving the first movie.. someone left their large popcorn tub thing so we took it and got a free refill of popcorn! How flippin sweet is that? A free large popcorn! But we only ate like a 10th of it bc it was so huge.

I really need to get back in the word. I've totally been slacking lately bc its like for school I have to study Acts and parts of the bible so it doesnt seem as essential to have that quiet time. But I know I need to be fitting it in my schedule-- which is so stupid to say because really.. if I do it as much as i should be .. i really should be planning my other time around quiet time.. bc thats so much more important than everything else. But do i do that? Heck no..
I have been reading Velvet Elvis by ROb Bell.. definitly would recommend it. I havent yet finished Understanding God's Will.. (yes friends, I am a slacker).. but when I finish Velvet Elvis i have Searching For God Knows What.. then I'll probably read the God's WIll book entirely over again.. then maybe Blue Like Jazz bc thats probably my favorite so far..
now that you know my reading schedule for the next five years I guess i can sign off now...

for weekend update.. I'm sarah...
goodnight and have a pleasent tomorrow :)

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