There's no where to go but up from here

That's how I felt last wednesday at 4:30 in the morning as I crouched in a chair in the waiting room at Jewish hospital....
The day before, Tuesday, I had a bit of a stomach ache but I tried to ignor it because Trishia and Grayson were still in town and it was my last day with them. I thought my stomach ache was from eating too much junk the night before. I debated whether to take off work that night or not. After talking with a co-worker and hearing how crazy work was the night before, and considering how I felt at the moment, and that at my job its not like you can just leave in the middle of the night and pass my patients off to another nurse who already has 6 or 7... I decided to call off. Good thing though because the stomach ache turned to nausea which still hasn't let up. Late in the evening I began to have episodes of vomiting which did not stop. I tried to tough it out for the night but nothing would relieve it.. pepto bismol, water, nausea meds (I had from a previous food poisoning episode a few months ago)... it all came right back up. I was too uncomfortable to lay down so I would get up and walk around which would only make me puke. Only then would I have a few minutes of stomach pain and nausea silence before it would start up again. Around 4 I woke up travis (I had been trying to sleep on the couch at this point), and told him I thought we needed to go to the ER because it was not letting up. After one more puke in the sink we were out the door. It was the most excruciating stomach pains I have ever felt. Got to the ER and after about an hour of waiting, filling out papers, andn talking to a nurse and doctor I finally got some pain and nausea meds.... which didn't work. At this time I was just thrilled to not have puked again. I was really dehydrated so they IV'd me with a bag of fluids and in the meantime did find some pain and nausea meds that helped some. Got blood drawn- white blood cells came back super high which indicated infection. Decided to do CT scan of abdomen and gave me like a liter of what smelled like chlorinated water to drink. (smart to give with someone who is nauseous, huh?) I had an hour to drink the nasty stuff which seemed like a long time except I kept falling asleep. It was about 45 mins into it when I took the last drink and..... about 10 mins later it all came back up... all over the bed and me. At least at that time I had nothing else in my system so it was just like water. Anyway... still able to go to CT scan found out I have Colitis... inflammation of the colon. Unknown cause.. except that I probably got it from work. I stayed in ER until about 11 when they gave me antibiotics and made sure I could keep them down... then they let me go home. Last week was a very rough week. Not until about Mon or Tues of this week did my stomach pains and cramps go away. Related to that I had no apetite and was too tired to stay awake for meals anyway. At my lowest weight I probably lost about 15 lbs. Which in normal life that would be awesome but this wasnt healthy. I have since gained a few of that back but have only really been able to eat semi-decent meals (soup) since yesterday. This thing has wiped me flat out. As of today I only feel the occasional cramping (maybe 1 or 2 a day, compared to constant), so I am off pain meds and most nausea meds. Still on 2 antibiotics until saturday (which is probably the cause of my continued stomach issues with no apetite). It has really messed with me emotionally too, I have been so emotional because it just has lasted so long! I am scheduled to go back to work Monday and when I do I will have missed 7- 12hr shifts. I had to even fill out short term leave paperwork and send it in. All in all I am feeling much better but not 100% quite yet. I have until monday to be healed- I'm a little nervous about going back to work- especially nightshift, just as far as the keeping myself awake all night, and the fact that my apetite isnt back yet. Oh and I had to go to a gastro-specialist on monday who said if I don't feel better over the weekend she scheduled me for a colonoscopy for next wednesday. I was thinking about getting it done regardless of how I feel just to rule out anything else but I called today and you know how much a colonoscopy costs even with our insurance?? Over $900!! So I am really hoping I won't have to get it done. Its already enough that I ran out my PTO (paid time off hours), and getting paid less the next 2 checks, but having to pay $900 would just be that much worse. Oh and weird other thing.. its really been messing with my body- my mom and I are comparing hot flashes. Like last night I woke up and the room was cold but my body was like dripping with sweat. But I wasnt even really hot. Maybe my body is trying to sweat out toxins or something when I sleep. I do sometimes get hot during the night but not like night sweats.
Anyway.. I hope this terrible ride is coming to an end because I do not know how much more my body can take. I keep having these weird moments like today I walked briskly up the stairs, 2 at a time, and immediately got cramps in both sides of my butt! And I get a little winded using the stairs... gotta gain my strength back I guess. At least today I did not feel like I had to lay down all day. I did actually get a few things done. I just feel sorry for my husband because I dont think he's had a meal cooked for him in like 3 weeks- and I almost always would have it ready when he came home. He's been a great help though, and very supportive through all my break downs.

Until next time.... (hopefully I'll be healthy again!)....