learning to overcome

Today I went running... yes, outside.. cold with wind blowing me like crazy. I've been running on this track this week at a park on tylersville.. i absolutely love it. Its quiet and serene and its just gorgeous with a huge pond in the middle and hills all around. Its like the only quiet place within the loud business of the mason/westchester area.
I love going there because its like my time to get away and usually i talk to God about the issues going on in my head. I've really been slacking on God-communication the past few months so this week has been refreshing.
So I was walking/running this 1.5 mile track, enjoying the nature around me, talking to God...asking him why I feel like its so hard to hear him. I released more frusterations on the way....
so here's the point of all this..
by the end of the run he was telling me that we will always encounter opposition and trials. Sometimes they will be so freaking hard for us that we feel as though we're gonna get knocked down and never be brought back up. We can either choose to fight through it...using God's strength to help us overcome whatever's against us, or we can give up, lose the fight and feel like crap for it. But if we choose to fight through it, in the end there will be a sweet reward. But we may not see it for awhile. The trials may last a while, seem to die down, then come back full force once again. And we may feel like all our strength and care is gone... thats when we should be desperate for God's help in the situation.. and decide to make it a team effort with Him, instead to fight it out alone and end up giving up. When we fight using God's strength we WILL overcome and grow stronger in the end.

So I'm definitly not saying I'm to that fighting point yet. But I'm sort of working towards it I guess. I'm not really even sure how to fight through everything. So as for now, I've stayed numb to it all so that I dont have to deal with it. I guess if I become smart enough to stay in constant communication with God, he will teach me how I can overcome.



"Goodnight she said, I'm gonna start a revolution. And you can be the start of it, it's in my head"

happy hanukah

So I guess its time for another lame post.
I'm on Christmas break which is awesome. NO MORE FINALS. Until next semester.
Let's see...
We went to the lebanon animal shelter today... so sad.. iwant to take home every animal there. We (lindsay and I) found a dog we love. It was like a golden retriever mix i think, 8 months old named Charlie. How cute is that? I've wanted a dog named that. The reason it was given up was bc he was too hyper... carol and anyone else around judah can vouch that any puppy has a ton of energy. Its sad that those people couldnt just train him. We also walked by the kittens and there was one named Josh... haha..how weird is that? Who takes a kitten home like "hmm... I think I'll name this one Josh.. sounds like a great cat name." Linz and I decided I would be a good cat owner... hmm..
Movies: I went to see Dick and Jane today.. pretty funny. I love Jim Carrey.
Though I would have to say that Just Friends was probably the funniest movie I've seen all year, so far. Or close to it at least.
Music: I'm still totally into Eisley. They just have this mesmerizing sound that I cant get away from. I'm in love.
Issues: Still there, I just choose to ignore them. Maybe not even choose... it just happens because I'm not exactly sure what to do. But actually... I THANK GOD for what we've all been going through because so many people are growing and finding themselves through all of this. And I think we've all grown as friends too. I'm so blessed to have such awesome friends.

So christmas is almost here. I think the "Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays" rivalry thing is fading. I called Walmart the other day to ask about something and the lady said "Merry Christmas, this is walmart, how can I help you?" My mom said they probably have to say it now because of all the boycotts. But whatever... that issue is dying down I think.. Lets face it people.. whether people say merry christmas or not.. it still doesnt mean they understnad the meaning of christmas. So shouldnt we be more focused on showing them the meaning, instead of attacking them for what they say? I'm done.. theres been too much said about this issue already..

so MERRY CHRISTMAS. Happy Birthday Jesus (who's actual birth most likely wasnt the 25th of december.. )
Lets celebrate his birthday by putting small lights around a pine tree, eating a lot of junk food, and giving eachother gifts :)
so where the heck did we get santa and pine trees? Jesus...santa...trees...i dont really see an obvious connection here.

I'm growing bored.


i still can't resist the jimmy fallon

update

i guess its been awhile since I've written anything worth reading. Not that I can really say this will be either. So saturday was my birthday-yay- I'm a year older than last year. And yet, I still feel 16. So how did my day go? Well I woke up saturday at 430am with an unsettled stomach, walked to the bathroom and puked. 5am went back to sleep. 7am woke up to go to work. worked from 8-12. Met ashley for lunch later. watched some of upright citizens brigade (I love amy poehler). Went to dinner at carabbas with the fam(+)bretts new gal. Went to see narnia and just friends later with fam(-)the parents(+)some of bretts friends. Narnia was slow... but good. Just friends was just as hilarious the 2nd time around (which i had seen just the day before). Birthdays just arent that much fun anymore. Well I dont mean that... i mean they arent a big deal. But i really appreciate all of my friends and fam that contributed to my bday this weekend. Even if you didnt, I love you SO MUCH! thanks for being my friend :) Ummm... well thats all i feel like expressing. I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!! party all the time :)

random convo of the day...

REPENT:
Me: I have bitter feelings toward a friend.
God: I have a perfect operational record.
Me: Oh really?
God: Yes, of course.
Me: That’s awesome.
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: The terminator?
God: I can’t believe you think the terminator is better than God.
Me: God is not a robot.



http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

**

it hurts to be so foolish

I did it.

There was no communication and an awkward gap in the friendship... so I emailed him wiht my thoughts...which is what i thought was a good idea at the time. I figured that was the closest I could do to rekindling any kind of friendship...
it didnt work out.
I think i just made things worse.
My venting probably sounded more like an attack to him...
I was reading in Proverbs this week and read "wise men keep their mouths shut" (my own translation).. I shouldve done that. It wouldve stayed an unspoken quarrel for who knows how long.. but thast probably better than how it is now.. and stupid me got someone else involved by just a mention of his name...again Im sorry.. it has nothing at all to do with you.

I'm sorry for being incredibly vague here.. but i know some of you know what im talking about ... and for the others.. be glad you dont.
Its all senseless drama.

I'm so sick of talking about it. But at the same time... I'm desperate to share my thoughts.

Why did i have to open my mouth? Ive told people many times.. oh im totally over it and i dont even care if we're friends anymore.. which i realy dont care.. but id rather things be unspoken than having one party so incredibly irate, cursing my name to others.
It hurts to be hated. But i know its my fault.

God, I know youre in control... bring peace on this situation. It'll take a MIRACLE to work things out.


what if all of it is my fault?