beating heart baby

oh summertime... how i miss you so.... So now my vacation options are: new york, florida, michigan, or colorado... I'd really love to go overseas but we all know i definitly dont have the money for that.. nor would i anytime soon. Road trips are fun... too bad my car probably wouldnt make it very far. So last sunday i went to crossroads church with my brother and friends. It was good. It wasnt like such a magnificent event or anything but being there i just felt so... refreshed. Theres alot thats been going on in my head and the week leading up to last sunday i felt beat... i had beaten myself up thinking about crap and just felt depressed. I was emotional from the minute i sat down for church. At the end of the service some awesome lady singers sang this song that I swear God was directing right at me. the words that caught me were "I love you more". That simple. It was such a great and big reminder as I sat and felt so little in that church of so many. "I love you more". Thats just beautiful to me and its hard to explain the picture I had in my head when those words were sung. I'm sorry i cant accurately share that with you. The service was about keeping God your center... not allowing money, possessions, status, or even people become your god. I do that a lot. And thats why i think i felt so crazy that week... I didnt let God in when i needed him the most. And im still keeping Him unintentionally at a distance. well i guess it is intentional if i know im doing it. But im trying not to. As far as the school stuff... i still dont know what im doing. my latest plan was to go to cincy states 2 year program. Theres like a 2 year waiting list or something though... but its better than waiting 5 years for UC. I dont even know if i love the idea of nursing... i just know it would be a good, secure job.. meaning i know i could always find a job... and im hoping to someday stay or even live for awhile in a different country.. and they always need nurses (like 3rd world countries). How great would that be? And completely rewarding to help people. oh i hate thinking about it bc it makes me want to go and again.. i have a limited source of money. So at this point it cant happen. but one day. "I love you more" 9And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. colossians 1:9-12