birthdays are fun

favorite birthday gift?.... finding out me and lindsay are going to new york dec 19th for 3 days!! funtimes.

a quick look back and cringe

Wow... its been over a year. I hate knowing that drama will continue to be a part of life forever.

I'm sick of trying to do this on my own.
I'm sick of not having a church to call my home. (didn't mean to make that rhyme:)
I'm sick of knowing its my fault..i can do something to change that.
I'm sick of being too lazy to change that
I'm sick of knowing that deep down many of my friends are still wounded.
I'm sick of not knowing what to do to help them.

I'm sick of hurting people..and not necessarily knowing that I am until its too late.


ok there was my vent for the night.



i love steak and new york city

FLOWER BABY

I can't get over this picture. It is so cute I want to hurt myself. This is my highschool sophomore teacher's 3 month old baby. She's one of the only people I've kept in contact with from highschool (funny... this just proves even moreso how I didnt have many longlasting friends in HS :)
She emailed me today and told me she had the baby and sent me a website for some pics... She is so freakin cute. Her name is Addison Grace. I wanted to ask her if she watches Grey's anatomy :) But I didnt.

So we definitly have to think about getting a costume like this for baby bird :)

lazy christmas and baby birds

HEY!
I still love you all.
I feel like such a lazy bum... I've had 6 days off of school for thanksgiving (i only have tues/thurs classes). I had class today till 12 but i dont go back till thurs. And I dont work today or tomorrow. But I know i should just shut up and enjoy it... which i totally AM! mY parents have been gone for the weekend.. they left thursday morning and coming home tonight at midnight. I cant lie its been great having space from them for a few days.. and the house is so much quieter! I know they had a great time though... they went to colorado to see my dad's parents and brother and his fam. He loves being with his family.. no matter how awkward it used to be bc some weird stuff happened between all of us a few years ago.. but most of that is cleared up now.
I dont remember who I've told what to.. but I have applied to Christ Hospital school of nursing and will find out in march. I'd really like to be accepted so then i can finish in 2 years from august instead of 4 or more at cincy state. I am still currently going to cincy state and will continue if I dont get into Christ.
I really want to go somewhere. Every few months I get "cabin fever" and want to go..anywhere... just to get out of here for a bit. I hate feeling like things are getting stagnant in life. But Christmas is coming up soon so I know it wont be a problem to hold that off for a little while longer. Me and Lindsay were talkign about going to new york around jan/feb but I'm not sure if its actually going to happen bc her work schedule and both of our lack of moneys.
SO yes... Christmas is coming up! My dad has been super excited or somethng because he put up all our lights and tree and everything up last week before he left for colorado. He acted like that was his only chance to do it but really there's not much more lawncare to do before he's off for the winter. I was initially not excited about christmas for some reason.. but im starting to get into it. I'm like more than half finished with christmas shopping already... i know its crazy. I still want to go to the outlet malls before christmas! Anyone interested? Well.. that is if i have money by that time. My birhtday is coming up so that should give me more money for christmas (a perk of having bday close to christmas :-/ )

Time is going so fast. The only good thing about that is baby bird will be here soon!! But he/she will grow up so fast. I cant wait to be a part of that though!

k I'm bored of this now. I love yous!!
I finally updated now its all of your turns!!


fergalicious

funny conversation

CHAD (a friend of mine from school): So why do you like Jimmy Fallon so much?

ME: Well im not as into him as I obviously used to be... but he is adorable and so funnny. I dont really know how it all started... I saw him.. our eyes met.. he said hello and the next thing I knew we were riding off into the sunset on a large white horse.

CHAD: wow, that sounds romantic

ME: yeah it was...

_______________________________________
GOTTA LOVE JIMMY FALLON

Dancing Maniac

unconscious dreams

So I had this dream last night that I was walking home and I saw 3 tornadoes touch down.. so I started running. I got home and no one was home. I decided to go in the basement because its the safest place and when I went down there the basement was filled with bikes and my sister was down there too..

So I'm really into dreams and I like to look up meanings. I went to this website: www.hyperdictionary.com
and looked up tornadoes and it said "Seeing a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive? Dreaming that you are in a tornado means that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You will be met with a series of disappointments for the next week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications. Seeing several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship."

I also looked up bicycle: "Dreaming that you are riding a bicycle means your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. Dreaming of a bicycle indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation."

So apparently I'm a little mentally and possibly emotionally overwhelmed.

Dreams...

So today I don't want to be a nurse. Today I want to travel and take pictures of everything I see. I was looking up mission trips today. I haven't found any that I am particularly passionate about. All of them are about going somewhere to help out with local churches and walk around to talk to people about God. Which is great and all but not what I'm interested in. I want to go somewhere and actually DO something.. like KHO... fix up or build a house.. something to do with physical labor. Some may think I'm crazy but I love it. I loved KHO and I think that serving like that speaks so much louder than any words that could be said. And I want to go out of the country because I adore different cultures and people and their ways of life. Of course I went into nursing wanting to work with kids and help people but I am growing so impatient!! This "2 year" program is turning out to be so much longer and I just dont know if I have the pertinacity (yes, big word, be proud... sorry if I used it wrong) to stay with it for that long!!
I know what some of you will say "Then go travel and take pictures!!" But its not that easy. You need money to travel. You need a job to make a living. Someday I'll live out my dreams... but for now I'll tread on where I am.

fun with new pics

http://www.flickr.com/photos/79516616@N00/

NEW CAMERA!!!

This lady at best buy yesterday was understandably trying to talk me into getting the $900 SLR camera which would have a lot more features and everything but we all know I can't afford that. But I was pretty much settled on this camera before I even got to the store. Plus it was $300+ less than the SLR. Gotta love sales.


Here's some pics I took today...







LOVES IT.

I'm really not trying to rub it in, I'm just really excited!!

k bye.

rabbits

At cincy state I'll stay...
I cant say I love it.. but I dont hate it either and I dont feel like I'm supposed to be anywhere else at the moment.

back to CCU?

Why did I feel like I was so busy in the summer? I did nothing. Actually I am pretty pissed at myself for not working 2 jobs when I had the perfect opportunity to make a lot of money. Now I need it and don't have the time... well, as much time. Getting past the first week of classes was rough.. but now that I;m sort of in a routine its not as bad. I try not to dread it becuase it only makes it worse if I expect it to be bad. So today I decided to be non-social and have a lazy day. It really feels good to have days like that. I watched many grey's anatomy episodes (still have like 14 or so to go before I finish the 2nd season!!) The new season starts thursday..not much time. I am definilty addicted..so addicted.
I got a letter in the mail today from CCU (the school I went to last year..but no longer attending) stating my current balance for this semester which is -3.71... they would owe us 3.71 because of the scholarships i would recieve there. It makes no sense that I didnt even register there this semester and its paid for.. but the school I am going to I get nothing. Is it dumb to think its a sign to go back to CCU since it will be paid for through scholoarships? I know I've talked about school so much you're probably sick of hearing about it but here i go again... some days I feel i could do this nursing thing.. but I dont want to be just the nurse..I want to be higher in the chain and actually do more than get bossed around. Of course Grey's Anatomy is in my head right now, and therefore a large influence in my thinking today. And yes I am living vicariously through those surgeons each episode I watch but I konw I couldnt do that all the time. I dont want my career to be my life, I actually want a family of my own some day.
Sometimes I feel like I should have been born like 50 years ago when women didn't have many rights--as far as careers go. I definilty wouldnt have been a feminist. Call me lazy and dependent alll you want but I'd be satisfied being the stay at home mom while the husband works. That doesnt mean thats whats gonna happen..I'm just saying I wouldnt mind it. There was so much less pressure back then to have a career.. but I guess there was a lot more pressure on getting married young.

OK I'm done... dont exactly know where all that came from.. I guess a day off not doing much but thinking will do that to ya.

So I got an email from the professor that took us to Irael and he said that the Greece trip is on for spring break. And he thinks it will be around $1800-2000. Thats a lot less than i originally thought it would be. ANyone else intereseted in going to Greece?? I'm still not positive I'm going but I really want to go!.. It just depends if I can be off of school during CCU's spring break and if I can get the money in time.

Thats all.

school dayz... woo hoo

So I'll let napolean dynamite help me out with this one... (click on the link)

http://www.reelwavs.com/movies/sounds/napoleon_dynamite/howwasschool.wav

Gotta love it!
Well maybe he is exaggerating... it wasn't the worst day of my life but it was freaking long. So here's my yesterday schedule:

7:30..Left for school, sat in traffic and got there in time for class
8:30-9:45.. psychology
9:50-10:45.. Went by the financial aid office and found out I'm getting no help this term..and the money is due next week. Loves it. I proceeded to find my next class but ended up in the cafeteria. Grabbed some chips and sat to read until
11:00-1:50..Chemistry. I hated it with a passion. I should be taking anatomy right now but because I didn't take both parts of chem in highschool I have to do them over. Suck. It was aweful. THe professor sort of looked like a muppet..I dont know their names so i cant tell you which one. 3 hours of sitting..hearing this guy talk about something that I probably should've been listening to. We did have two 15 min breaks in there.
2:00..left school and as I pulled out of the parking garage I saw that the price was $5 now instead of $2. Gorgeous. $10 a week... $40 a month... so about $90 for the term? I konw I'm whining... but I had it so good at CCU... school was paid for through financial aid and parking was free.
2:30-4:45..Worked at the good ol' orthodontist office. As much as i complain about this job i guess it really is a blessing because they are so flexible with me. But I guess they dont really have a choice.
5:00..left work and headed for evendale.
5:30-10:00..Nurses Aid class in the evendale campus. Praise the Lord that I dont have to go back to the main campus. And no..I didnt write it wrong..it really is a 4.5 hr class. Last night we had one 10 min break at like 630. So needless to say we were all getting pretty anxious to get out of there. I know that when we get further into it it wont be as bad because we will actually be doing things, but last night was the first night so they had to go over everything.
10:30..Got home, said hi to the parents, checked my email and went to sleep.

It was a long day. But its over...until I do it all again tomorrow. The good news is that only tuesdays should be like that. Thursdays I usually dont work (except for tomorrow) so I can jsut go to my grandmas (who lives in evendale 5 min from the evendale campus) and sleep or play games or whatever with her.
I absolutely hate the first week of school. I'd rather skip all the introduction stuff and get the point of being there. But it has to be done I guess.
Cincy state goes on terms and this one ends at the beginning of november. 2 months.

I'm terrified I'm gonna get finished with this term and not want to do nursing anymore. Please pray for God to reveal this to me!! (whether i should do it or not). Thanks all. Love you.

beating hearts baby

ok its official... I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I actually was in love with it the first time i saw it but never could catch it when it was on... but now I have the first season and cant stop watching.
I have a few invites for you all... Thursday my friend Justin (he plays guitar and sings) is playing at Liberty Heights church. Should be good..if you wanna join me..
ALSO>>> Sunday my parents are having this cookout after church and also games and such for the kids to play. I told them I'd come and help with the kids..anyone else interested? They are all such great kids and i want to keep them all. Its hard because I've been on my parents about leaving because I know they are not happy there, but at the same time I know they love those kids, and feel like they would be abandoning them if they left. Pray for this situation. I still have this urge in my heart for mikayla. It makes me sad to think about her and what obsticles she's going to have to overcome as she gets older. If she even makes it that long. (if you have no idea who I'm talking about go back to the post about the zoo).
I've really been thinking about this whole career thing... and I really do think I wanna be a baby nurse... in neonatal care. That's probably gonna change eventually.. but for now it sounds good to me. And about the whole current job situation..I'm gonna stay where I am. I am thinking he is going to retire within the next year or so (hopefully) and there will probably be some sort of lump sum attached to that for each of us employees...so I'm sort of trying to hold out until then. But it is a good paying job and flexible..I am just feeling the need to move on. But I cant really do that until i get another job. So I was thinking that after I take this nurses aid training this term I should apply to one of the hospitals for a job. I know I'll have a better chance of getting a job if i wait and take the training first.
Some may say I'm spoiled because I dont pay my car insurance or phone bill (I hesitate even saying that..knowing again I show my age by not having many responsibilities). I told my mom today I would start paying those just so I can start getting ready for..life..for later when I have lots of other bills to pay. She basically told me to shut up and just use this time to save. I feel like I should have a lot more money saved up considering my living situation and such. But then again I do have a 2-day-a-week job. I did apply somewhere else but have heard nothing thus far.

This year I've really learned how important it is to have community. Or to live in community with others. I love it. And its hard to for me to understand how some people..like my sister..do it..who dont really have community outside of the immediate family . SHe just works too much at this job I know she should quit...while going to school full time and also living with my parents and attending to her husband. Its gotta be hard. Most of her friends that she still talks to (most of them on occasion) are shallow and self-centered. I try to be there for her...to listen when she vents...and have fun when we have time...but i know she needs more..she needs others...she needs more community. I dont even know why I went in to this right now.... except that she needs to be in my prayers more..and I ask that she be in yours also.

come back chrissi alice. i miss you. i love you love you.
blue ice cream is available for a few more weekends!


kati: did you ever see devon anymore? man I'm gonna miss that kid...


beating heart baby :)

my favorite little man...

This is Austin. He is my favorite kid ever. Look at those adorable ears!

I think I mentioned in a previous post that we went to the zoo last Thursday. Robby was our photographer (what a shocker!) At one point my grandma asked if he worked and took pictures for the zoo... she didnt know he came with us. Gotta love her...
So anyway... thanks to Robby we have all these great pictures! So if you'd like to get in on some of the fun I will add a link to Robby's flickr site so you can view the pics. (I hope you don't mind Robby!)
The link is under "links" (titled Robby's flickr pics) to the right of this page.

Love you all.

we never saw the elephants

So I've been wanting to take the kids from my mom's church to the zoo for awhile... just something fun for them to do.. and today we finally went. It was about 15 or so kids, and around 10 adults? It was good. Thanks again to scotty, robby and ashley who came.. and lindsay... it would have been harder without them there to watch over some. I was worried about today, actually, becuase something always goes wrong.. like a tire goes out, or someone gets sick/hurt.. something like that. But everything went well and I think all the kids enjoyed it.. even my favorite little ones..
I've told a few of you about my favorite little girl Mikayla... she is 3 years old and has spinal bifida. She wasnt ever supposed to walk but she does.. she wears braces on her legs and she walks almost as well as any other 3 year old (with double the determination). I love her. She is the cutest little girl I've ever met. Her homelife isn't very good- very unstable, and they dont always respnd immediately to her disabled needs. It tears me up because I dont understand how her family doesnt look at her everyday and see how much of a blessing she is. Maybe they just see her as a waste of money (on medical bills) and... well i dont even know waht they think... but i see her little smiling face, as she's wobbling around on her braced legs..and just think of what a little miracle she is. I want her so badly. My mom and grandma have both said that if she was ever taken out of her house, or the option was ever put out there to adopt her, they would both fight for her. She deserves so much more love and care than she's getting. I'm not doubting her parent's love for her... but i am doubting their concern and care for her needs. Her dad didn't even want to take her to the hospital last weeek when she had a temperature of 104. He told my grandma something like, "I'm not just gonna go take her to the doctor every time something is wrong with her". um.. why not? she is your daughter and needs you! She's 3..she cant survive this on her own. Its been said that she's not supposed to live very long. I cant even imagine... My heart breaks for her.

so anyway.. we had fun at the zoo. I got to hang out with all my favorite kids.. and everyone had fun, no one was injured.

please pray for mikayla and family. I'm never sure how to exactly pray for these situations... that she gets taken from her home and we get her? or that her family sobers up and realizes what an angel they have.. and the needs she has.

my amusement for today

Whats uP? I haven't told a story in awhile so I decided to share my day. It was lame but there were a few comic reliefs involved. So this morning I left nerdwood at 640 and got inside school around 7. When I arrived at the door of the office i was supposed to be at I noticed there were 4 other girls waiting also. (I was warned there would be a line already formed at the door). We were all told to be there at 7, though we weren't allowed in until 730. So that was great. Finally 730 came around and we all went in to get some papers signed to get into the nurses aid training, followed by "now you must go downstairs and register". Okay.... I thought we were already waiting in line to be registered, but whatever.... so after signed papers i eventually found my way downstairs to stand in another line to get registered for this class. It was around 730 and of course this office wouldn't open until 8. So we waited...once again. And the doors opened.. and we waited as we were helped one by one. (I was about 6th in line). The actual registering took about 2.5 minutes so I pretty much had a bunch of time to waste before my 930 appt. with my advisor.
(Fast forwarding...)
Here I am waiting for my appointment and I recognize this guy (of short stature) that works at the urgent care I went to in West Chester. He was waiting with a friend that was trying to decide on his classes. So I was talking to them both about classes, majors, where they live, jobs, etc. Just casual conversation. His friend was like brazillian or something and I can't deny my eyes were occasionally fixed on his pretty face...I mean what..? I mean he was..his friend's name was adam or something and this kid's name was..well i really dont remember. I was too busy listening to the brazillian guy's accent. Ok so anyway... we are all talking..and waiting. Then all the sudden the short urgent care guy is like "can you help me with something?" and he hands me his razor cell phone (I hate razor cell phones, by the way. No offense if you have one or like it, but I think they're oogly). And my name is entered and he wants me to type in my number. So this creates somewhat of an awkward moment because here we are all just chillin and talking and he has to ruin it for asking for my number. Ok so right when he hands me the phone my advisor comes out and says "Sarah?" So I quickly give back the phone without entering my digits and said something lame like "well I'll probably see you around soon". SAVED BY THE ADVISOR. I knew they were good for something. Now I'm kinda creeped out by him. Yes its only a phone number but those who know me know you have to be subtle about these things or I get scared and run from you. And I have this fear he's like gonna look up my number at the urgent care place (since he works there, and therefore has access). Maybe I really do need to be dating someone so I can get out of situations like that without actually lying about why I'm not gonna give them my number. The creepy kid actually asked me (sort of joking..sort of) when I got up to go to my meeting if I wanted him to wait for me... I gave him a courtesy smile and walked on...probably rolling my eyes after passing him by.
..........................
So I'm at work later and so tired. So on my lunchbreak I get a starbucks caramel macchiato. I was a complete coffee freak last year during school, but I really havent drank much this summer. And I dont drink soda so needless to say my insides arent used to caffeine anymore. I drank my starbucks in about 10 minutes and my head was so A.D.D. for like 5 hours. My heart was racing and I couldnt focus. It was weird because I was so tired and felt like i was moving in slow motion, yet my brain was trying to move on double time. At one point i was supposed to tack on this bracket on this other thing for my mom and within like 10 seconds i was so frusterated and told her i couldnt do it anymore. It was weird to have this caffeine high. I used to claim caffeine had no effect on me. Well I lie.

Thats all. I'm sorry I didnt sarcasm it up like was possible... I was somewhat lacking inspiration.

love yous.

The Sabbath

Hey people.. so a few weeks ago we were talking about the Sabbath in bible study... I've been re-reading velvet elvis and I just came apon Rob Bell talking about this...

When we read the word Sabbath, most of us think of a day in the week, wich is what it is. But I have learned that the real issue behind the sabbath isnt which day of the week it is but how we live all the time....

Sabbath is taking a day a week to remind myself that I did not make the world and that it will continue to exist without my efforts.

Sabbath is a day when my work is done, even if it isnt't.

Sabbath is a day when my job is to enjoy. Period.

Sabbath is a day when I am fully available to myself and those I love most.

Sabbath is a day when I remember that when God made the world, he saw that it was good.

Sabbath is a day when I produce nothing.

Sabbath is a day when I remind myself that I am not a machine.

Sabbath is a day when at the end i say, "I didn't do anything today," and I don't add, "And I feel so guilty."

Sabbath is a day when my phone is turned off, I don't check my email, and you can't get ahold of me.

Jesus wants to heal our souls, wants to give us the shalom (peace) of God. And so we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to sit still and stare out the window and let the engine come to an idle. We have to listen to what our inner voice is saying.
(p 117-118 of Velvet Elvis)


Robbellions :)

would you lie with me and just forget the world.

hi friends.
its been awhile for me. I just felt i should update those that i dont see everyday.
Lets go through the main topics...
SCHOOL: the plan for now is to go to Cincinnati state for nursing. i have no idea what my future looks like.... i dont want to be stuck in a hospital around here doing the same things everyday... what i mean is i want to TRAVEL! oh so badly... I definilty lack the funding..but then again- i dont know what my future holds.. maybe ill change my mind again next year..although i hope not. I dont have everything ready for this school year.. i need to get some financial aid stuff sorted out and schedule my classes (i cant do that till sept).
WORK: STill at the orthodontist office. I dont love it. But I'm hating it less. Actually I plan on staying there a bit longer (if it fits in my school schedule).. while possibly looking into a job at a retirement home (Cedar Village) as a nurses aid or server or something. I heard they pay well, have good hours, and may pay for schooling if you make a deal to work for them for so long after you graduate. I'm still trying to check all that out.
Well now that the boring stuff is over... TRAVEL:so there is this Greece trip coming up like the beginning of next year that I'd really love to go to. But i have a problem with saving money, especially since i havent worked a whole lot this summer. So I may not be going. Also, I'm trying to save up for this digital SLR camera I'm in love with.. along with money for another trip to dominica in january, and also a car..further in my future. Soo....needless to say...Greece is probably more out of the picture than I'd like to think.
CHURCH: uh...still looking? Well not really looking, but I'm not necessarily completely content. I've been going to the vineyard and I like it, but I dont think I'd really call it my "church home". Its so big and I havent been motivated to get involved in a small group yet. So yes i know thats my fault.
MALES: haha... wouldnt you like to know? yeah I'm just kidding... there really isnt much to say in this category.. I'm sure you are surprised.
OTHER: I'm upset taht Tina Fey is off SNL. It wont be the same without her. by the way... next month (AUGUST) is the only month you can email SNL to get in their ticket lottery thing. SO DO IT! and if you dont really want to go you could always sell your tickets to me if you got them!

The summer has been good. Went to florida,.... hmmmm... went to morehead,ky.... I've gone swimming... seen movies... ok so I'm lame. but i did go to florida. I like to rub it in. and I got to hang out with crazy katie for a whole week. sweet. KY was fun too... i love painting fences with used motor oil. Its probably now my favorite pastime.

im gonna stop dragging this out now.

thats all.

standing at the gate called 'beautiful'

Tonight I could really feel the healing that has been happening in your lives lately... even if you didnt necessarily think there was... i could feel it.. and hear it in your voices.

Thank you for that. It is a great encouragment.