Life's been good. My chrissi is home! That is something to celebrate!! I am thrilled-- even if it's only for a few days/weeks more. You never know what this crazy girl is going to do next :)
I think i have an admirer. I find myself thinking of ways to say or do horrible things to lose his respect so that he wont have romantic feelings for me and we can all move on with our lives normally... then I have to hit myself for even thinking of wanting to lose someone's respect bc thats just craziness to even think. But its almost like I'd rather lose his respect than go through the whole drama thing and come out not friends. So far there has been nothing vocal, on his part. I sincerely hope there wont be any so we dont have to deal with hurt feelings and whatnot. I hate drama, and I hate going through this. Again I am pushing. I think he feels that i am. But this isnt me making excuses bc I'm afriad or anything-- i'm really just not interested this time. How can you be someone's friend wihtout fueling their admiration of you? I feel like that sounded really conceited... I'm sorry, but really.. what do you do?
This is the basis on which my shirt "I dont want to be your girlfriend" stands. I dont want to deal with the drama. Its my way of saying "back off now so i dont have to tell you later" when more is at stake to lose.
Thats all for now.
Reckoning in Philippians 3:10 – Part 4
2 days ago
1 comment:
relax...i know exactly how you feel, believe me. just try not to box yourself up and hide, because it is very hard to get outta that comfort zone. just breathe. it will work itself out...it always does
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