I feel like such a loser. Tomorrow is homecoming and today we had a pep rally to get everyone excited for it and for the game tonight. So I went to school, stayed for the first 3 periods and left before the pep rally. Why don't I have school spirit? I don't know, that's why I asked you. There were probably like 20 people out of the entire 2400+ student body that werent wearing green (our school color). Of course, I was one of them. But I was half spirited: I was wearing my "senior" shirt, but it is orange, pink, and yellow tie-dye. I dont hate school. I do try to be involved in some things: I am in HOPE club (a community service club) and FCA (fellowship of christian atheletes)- but ive only been to one of those meetings so far.
I guess I dont like going to pep rallys because I dont like pretending like I'm having fun. I have friends at school but theres only like one that I actually hang out with outside of school. I mostly hang out with people from my church, my sister, and the bond girls :)
Part of me felt horrible driving home because I feel like I should want to have school spirit and be involved. I guess I just feel like there's so much more than high school- why get myself sucked in? High school is such a small part of life. So many people look at me like i have 3 heads when I say i dont really like school. "But high school is supposed to be the best years of your life!" They say. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure I'll look back and say that ages 13-18 were like the funnest experiences- but pretty much most of those experiences will be times I hung out with people outside of school- not actually HS itself. I just dont feel like I'll miss it much when I'm gone (which will be FEBRUARY!!! Crazy...) I'm such a nerd- I'll probably miss some of my teachers more than students. I've had some really awesome teachers that have taught me a lot more in life than just algebra or english.
I'm done reflecting or whatever you wanna call it.
By the way... I am listening to the Rock and ROll Worship Circus- yall need to go hear them if you dont know who they are--they freaken ROCK.
I love you.
Spirit-applied Reckoning – Part 2
5 days ago
1 comment:
girlfriend...high school is nothing when you look at the big picture. i hated high school so i can definately relate, i had some fun, but i too hung out with more people outside of school, and i'll tell you, i still have great friendships with them, and i dont talk to anyone from high school anymore. dont be so hard on yourself...give it a couple months and this phase will pass away.
i know who you are, and you dont have to prove anything to me..you are a blessing and an awesome friend. dont let something like a pep rally make you doubt yourself!
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