if it would all just leave my mind...

So...I'm really getting sick of everything that's been on my mind lately...Let's see...college and decisions-to go away, stay home and go local, estitition school? Friends that I miss and cant hang with anymore..., highschool-and getting work done and thinking i should make more friends and witness... Writing letters and raising money by the end of November to go to Israel (Israel's the one thing i dont mind thinking about)... hating myself for all my weaknesses that I cant overcome, and appearantly dont have enough trust either... thinking about my girls at church and how we need to get together more-maybe have accountability groups or something- but ive had so much to do lately that I havent gone through with any of my ideas to do that... I know I need to be in the word more (the bible) and spending a heck of lot more time with my heavenly daddy, and I hate that I havent been making more of an effort... and thinking about the tragedy that Mason High and Scarlet went through this week with the death of another student. I feel so totally numb to that now- like I dont feel like it actually happened and when it does register I dont even have a reaction to it. Of course I'm sad for his friends and family-but its like every year something like this happens so it doesnt come as such a shocker anymore or something- and I feeel horrible about that.
After I like get mad or have a pity party for myself about being busy ever (which isnt that often), or decisions or anything- I hate myself for it because I know so many people have things a lot worse than me, and I;m just being a spoiled, stubborn brat when I dont listen to what God is telling me what to do about all these things...
I pray that I will listen to my own advice to other people about things and apply it to my own life...

It's so stupid that I ask for all these answers and dont have the patience to wait for the answers... how ignorant is that?

"You know how full of love and kindness our Lord Jesus was: though he was so very rich, yet to help you he became so very poor, so that by being poor he could make you rich." 2 Corinthians 8:9 (The Living Bible)

I dont want pity (I dont know why I would deserve it anyway) I just want to spend more time with God