i hate computers

I just poured my heart out in a long post about KHO and other junk and it all erased before my eyes.... a little frusterating to put it lightly.
So here I attempt again...

KHo was a lot of fun and I wish we were still there. It was a lot of hard work but i expected it bc we went 2 years ago. I cant say i was so totally excited to work on a roof in 100 degree weather, sweating like my face was a foucet. But i didnt not like working. It was such a great feeling knowing what we were doing for these people that couldnt afford it and how much they appreciated it. Thank God nobody got seriously hurt or fell off any roofs. I did get over a thousand splinters but I will heal. Last week took a lot of patience though. Last time I was here I was a sophomore in HS so i was sort of in the middle of the age groups. This year I was one of the oldest. It was weird. The youngest in our group was 12. She was pretty clumsy and all over the place and at the start of the week i was really irritated. BUt throughout the week I realized that she is only 12 and has a lot of growing up to do... but dont we all. And I really liked her by the end bc she was so funny.
Before coming I kept comparing this camp to the one we went to 2 years ago. Then we had like 15 girls and this year we had 5. But I loved it. The girls taht came were probably the group with the least amount of drama that could have come. We had a lot of fun and had some good discussionns. We used the video camera to heighten our entertainment at times. Pimp juice is goood.
Whenever I go to kho or 24God I fall in love.. with the people, the places, the Spirit, the ministry, the feeling. SOme were trying to convince me (its not that hard to) that i should apply to be a kho intern next year. How awesome would that be! A whole summer of ministry and hard work! I ran taht IDEA by my mom today and she shot it down. The interns get about 35cents an hour i think. But its not about the money at all! Its about the ministry. I get so frusterated with my mom sometimes... she is so closed minded. Her thinking is that i should stay home next summer, get a job (she;s thinking the one i have right now, with her) and save up money for college and a possibly a car. I understand her thinking, but i would like her to be a little more open. Who cares about the money! I am finally starting to have faith that money will come if and when i need it. We talked about college too and it comes up frequently about me possibly taking a semester offf (NEXT semester) if mission trips work out or whatever and she hates the idea. Education is the MOST important thing. I understand taht, but at the same time I am thinking i can always go to college, i cant always travel and do what i want. I usually realize it is dumb to argue over this stufff so early and end the discussion...it will come back up later in life if it comes to it.
So KHO... I didnt have any major revelations or anything. But it did help me in seeing the sincerety of people's faith. Over the past few months I have become very cynical about things and noticed how fake people are in their spiritual walks and it really discouraged me. Its like i went through a spiritual depression or something. I didnt know how to pray anymore, i had little or no desire to read the word and i didnt know how to get out of the rut i had dug myself. I am now learning peace and my bitterness is deteriorating. Peace has come more this week than i realized until i got home. Peace about friends moving, some college stuff, bitterness. Its such a great feeling. I didnt even pray for it. It just came. God knows me in and out and sent peace at just the right time.
College... Ive taken some advice and breathed. I am going to CCU... urban ministry major? I dont know if I'll stay there 4 years, but I'll take my time and see how 1st semester goes.
My dad mentioned yestereday that he doesnt like the idea of me making that drive downtown so much but he has to let go sometime. My mom really doenst mind the drive... she says not to worry about him, he'll get over it. But whast cool is my grandparents knew this older gentlemen that lived in price hill but he passed away last year leaving this lady, that my gparents watch over, his house. (The cool part...) Its a 2 story house with a rentable apt for the top level that needs a lot of work, but its a nice house and my sister adn her hub are thinking about buying it! That would solve a lot bc i could stay with them throughout the week and not have to drive so far to school when the semester starts up! Yes it is a very selfish motive of mine for them to buy this house. Otherwise I dont want them to move bc right now they only live 5 minutes away.
And Cheryl, if youralls house sells maybe you could rent out the top apt if my sis buys that house! It is 2 bedroom...
I live in a fairytale world...

We'll see how all that goes.

MEMORY VERSE FOR THE WEEK:

Proverbs 26:11
As dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

rambling

Wednesday was my dad's birthday. He's getting old. ME and Lindsay woke up at 5:30 to make him breakfast bc he works at 6. He was very surprised and said he thought everyone would forget. We got him and my mom dancing lessons for his birthday. That should be some good entertainment right there. I actually started to post something wednesday but this dumb laptop shut down. Anyways.. happy belated birthday dad (...who doesnt read this, so i really dont know why i bothered).
I didnt leave the house once today. It was semi-nice, besides the fact that my insane 6 year old cousin has been here for the past 2 days and is driving me crazy. I finally did break down and play some games with him tonight. He is fun sometimes, but when my mom is around he turns into such a brat bc she babies all the time and gives him whatever he wants. Its irritating. I'm so glad I dont have a sibling that age right now.
I actually did get some stuff done today though: packed some for KHO (leaving sunday), wrote out some graduation thank yous, watched a movie, read some mail, copied some songs from bretts computer onto cds... I said i got SOME stuff done, not a whole lot. But tomorroiw we are haveing a yard sale with some neighbors so we have also been getting things ready for that. If you are in the area drop bY! Its from 9-2 friday and saturday.
I feeel like i am totally rambling right now.

I want to go to Europe.

I came to the conclusion the other day that I am noncommital. I really am. It's pretty bad too. And I dont konw why. Well, actually i think a lot of it has to do with how picky i am. OH well, one day my prince will come and I'll get over it real quick.

I'm syked for KHO. It'll be a good time for sure. HOpefully there will be no drama and no injuries.

I'll try to write once more before I depart.


i miss you

a n o t h e r college update

Okay, so obviously i have been very discontented about not konwing what to do with my future. Last week I finished my applications for CCU... a few days later i was having 2nd thoughts... the money issue was sort of pushing me towards Temple Baptist college (even though CCu really isnt too bad for me financially)... then yesterday I was thinking possibly YWAM discipleship program in Mexico... yes, i am freaking all over the place. As of today, after talking with a good friend that had some great advice, it made me decide to stay with my initial decision at CCU. I guess I sort of combined YWAM with CCu in my head... i would love to go to a different country and do some sort of ministry. So why not take some urban ministry programs at CCu (which require internships) , see how I like it and discover how things go from there. That way I would be getting college education (my mothers #1 concern- understandably) and be heading toward doing something I have a passion for- which of course is what people go to college for mostly in the first place.. but i just happened to put all the pieces together in my head [finally] i guess (for now). I also have some different ideas of minors if I do decide to go that ministry route... but I choose to not disclose that information at this time due to my indecisive nature. So, considering how my mind changes every day or so, I guess I'll let you know how things are going later. Hopefully I dont change it again bc this feels pretty good right now.

I'm such a slacker. I said i would start a memory verse for the week. THIS week's is:

Now to HIM who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.
Ephesians 3:20


That actually reminds me of my favorite quote:
"With your true heart devoted to HIm, just watch and see that what is gives is exactly what we truly wanted but dared not dream to ask for."
-cab :)

i love you

OH hey... please remember my brother and his friends in your prayers this week. He is in Jamaica until saturday or sunday i believe, with a group from Landmark church. i adore my brother. He is so great.

farewell

fix you

I really like this song off Coldplay's new cd. The music is really pretty but considering I cant telepathically let you listen, here are the lyrics...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone
but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Tears streaming down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I'm still frusterated about school. Yesterday I thought I had it all planned out but today I'm not so sure anymore.
Responding to chrissi's previous comment... I would totallly love to just go travel the world. But I definitly dont have the money, courage, or faith to do that.
I dont know why I'm turning this in to such a big deal.
Please pray for me about this. I dont know what to pray anymore.
I'm just being stubborn I guess. Too stubborn to listen, or even attempt to ask the one who knows my desires. Ask what? I dont know.. thats why i cant.

Alright, i'm so done talking about this. Sorry to be a bore.

Jimmy Fallon is so cute.. by the way.

I'm really in to Jack Johnson and Damien Rice right now. They're supercool. With totally different sounds.
"I can't take my mind off of you" (Damien Rice)
That song reminds me of a friend. It makes me reminescent in a sad sorta way sometimes.

I feel like such an idiot sometimes.

I'm sorry if I've ever pissed you off or made you felt bad in any way.
____________________________________________________________
okay so i finally figured out how to post some pics... below are some of Paris. When i have more time I'll post more of Israel and my girls.

Arc

Arc
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

Arc de Triumph

IMG003

IMG003
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

A gorgeous cathedral on top of a hill in Paris.

IMG005

IMG005
Originally uploaded by SarahBeth.

Eiffel Tower in Paris! Isn't it beautiful?!

lets have a girls night...

yes I've slacked a few days. THere is no way i could write every day- I'm really not that interesting, i promise you.
I love my friends. THeres not a specific reason i say that- I just felt like it. They are ALL fun to talk to. And eat ice cream with, and lay out in the sun with, and watch movies, stay up late, gossip about boys with(cuz i do that ALL the time :) you know it).
By the way... when is our next girls night/80s movie night/pool party/blue ice cream run?
I wish people were more passionate about thigns. Especially myself. It makes life so much more fun and interesting. If only i were passionate about my future plans... what i wish to achieve in college... I hate it. Why even choose a major if most likely i will change it anywyas? I know Ive vented about this before on here. BUt it just irritates me. Its more frusterating to me i guess. Beacuase i really dont know what to do about it. I sincerely have no clue what to study in college. The question i usually get after that is "well do you have any interests?" Well of course I do! I AM a living, breathing human being. I'm not a freakin robot. BUt just because Im interested in something dosent mean i want to make a career out of it for the rest of my life. I like to people watch- is there a career centered around that? If there is, please let me know (did you sense the eye rolling?). I dont know. and Frankly, who cares right now. Yea, yea... I'll figure it all out... trying ot listen to my own advice.
You know whats really humorous to me? How there are so many people with blog accounts now- thanks to chrissi alice. Its funner now that there are more people circulating around here.. and more fun stuff to read and cute pics. I need to get the ball rolling on putting pics on here. ( i just used a cliche phrase... ha ... i hate cliches).

You know what I love? Romans- in the bible. Especially from the Living Bible...
"...For we dont even know wat we should pray for, nor how to pray as we should; but the Holy Spirit prays for us with such feeling that it cannot be expressed in words."
Incredible.
I've really fallen out of reading lately. I dont know.. i just havent had that desire like i used to. I'm trying to get back into it. I really need my quiet time back.

I love you all.

me humoring you

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.

Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the
class that represented their religion.

The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name
is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."

The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name
is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."

The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name
is Tommy. I am Baptist, and this is a casserole."

day 2 of consistency

So I'm ordered to stay consistent in updating my blogs. Mostly for my LA friend.
So tonight i went with the brother[s] (mine) to a cookout they had at Landmark for graduating seniors. It was fun. They played wiffle ball- i played one inning and realized i didnt like humiliation so I decided to sit out. I met a friend of 24 yrs of age. We are to have lunch friday. She's cool. I never have any friends my age. Its fun to have conversations from people with more experience in life I guess. It doesnt mean i dont like my friends of younger ages. They are just as fun- but somehow i always end up the youngest in groups. This week will go fast. I have a lot i want to do... layout and swim, hang out with a specifically cool cat and take pictures, catch lunch w/my aunt, go to kings island with my girls, go see my 2 little cousins at my other aunts house, and have lunch with my new friend. Oh also church wednesday and landmark's coffee house thurs night. We'll see if i accomplish my missions for this week.
I really want to start a memory verse for the week. We all need to memorize verses. I'm so horrible at doing stuff like that, especially without someone on my case about it.
Anyone have a good one to start us/me off?
Give me some feed back... someone comment like a cool life story or funny thing that happened. Something! My blog is so boring. But I love it anywyas. Good way to keep in touch.. right cAlice?

Maybe someday I'll learn my purpose in life... other than entertaining others by my lame stories :)

Catch ya later...

for all you eager readers...

I apoligize for not writing more often. I guess I just think about what's going on so often to myself that I forget nobody else knows.
My grad party was today. Thank you to all who came! It was awesome to see everyone. There were a ton of people there but actually i expected more- perhaps some folk from school. But its all good.
One of the best gifts I recieved today? My brother got us tickets to see Coldplay at Riverbend in August!! How awesome is that? I'm so excited. And no, I just cant hide it :)
I got some cool and unexpected gifts. The most bizarre? M&M gave me a hotdog candle. It was funny when I was going through cards and stuff with some fam and they looked at that candle like: what the crap... but they dont know M&M. She's just funny like that.
I guess I'm expected to have future stuff figured out here sooon... yea still dont. LIke I've said before...whats the point of even going to college with a major when the statistics that i would keep that major arent promising?
Maybe if i opened up more like i do in my journals i would have more to write about. But maybe not, theres not much I dont write in here i guess.
otherthings to write about? Boys...
I'm so sick of my parents (esp. my mom!!) trying to hook me up! Theres this family that ive known forever and they ahve a son a yr older than me and his parents have ALWAYS given not-so-subtle hints about us basically getting married. In the past my parents ahve defended me- or at least did when i was around. But today my dad was joining in and my grandma wanted to take a whole bunch of pics of us together! It drives me absolutely CRAZY. They dont understand... if you want me to be in a relationship that will NEVER work, then yes, you can be all up in my businass. Otherwise, well you may introduce me to someone, but please back off.
By the way... I'm not sayin gthis to hint to anyone specific or anythign. Just venting about the parents.
My mom is crazy. She always picks out these weird looking, or better yet, GAY guys at restaurants or wherever. A few months ago was at PFchangs and she said he looked like johnny depp in his younger days. HECK NO. He was so ugly. Well maybe the guy was nice and all but seriously mom, johnny depp? Maybe she needs another lazer-eye surgery. Check this out.. the last one we were with some fam driving home from Philly when we stopped at a cracker barrell to eat. She was whispering to me very loudly about our waiter being cute or something. Little did she know how untalented she is at deciphering FLAMERS. Yes, I believe he was gay. So I give up on my mom finding my man. She did it for my sister but I'm a very different person with quite opposite taste.
Geeze my brother has some awesome looking friends :) Too bad they're like all taken... and that they're my bro's friends.. that could be weird...

Hey so did you hear that Seal married Heidi Klum? Do you think she'll take his lack of a last name? Heidi ...
My sis and I have been laughing about that. It's sorta lame but I think its funny.

I'm sure theres gotta be more dirt to write about... later.

i love you

SA